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Sadmom
It has been 11 months today since Summer passed away.  I miss her so much.  I actually had a dream about her about 2 weeks ago.  She was running around my back yard chasing birds and butterflies.  I didn't interact with her in my dream.  I was watching her from a distances.  When I woke up I was crying.  It made me feel good that she was happy in my dream and that she came to me but it broke my heart that I didn't get to pet her or interact with her. 

I have had the opportunity to visit with her sister and that provides me with some comfort. 

I still cry about Summer's passing, but I am now not crying everyday. 

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zakatak
Hi Sadmom,

I am very sorry for the loss of Summer.  I wanted to let you know that I believe our pets visit us when we're ready and that she wanted to show you that she is doing just fine.  :)  

I had a dream the other night - my first one since June 12th when my Dudley (newfie) passed suddenly.  In the dream, I was in the kitchen talking with someone and felt something on my hand.  I looked down and Dudley was sitting there, sitting up begging (he never did this in real life).  In the dream, I was aware that he had passed on and this was a GIFT.  I held his paw like I used to and then he literally hugged me.  We fell to the floor and I scratched his belly and enjoyed every second of it.  

I remember waking up and whispering THANK YOU to his ashes & photo on the bookshelf in my bedroom.  I knew he had visited me and it was great.

I think Summer visited you and wanted to show you that she is very happy now and that you don't have to be too sad anymore.  I still tear up every time I talk about Dudley (am doing so now, like a baby) but I am ready to open my heart up again to another beautiful soul.  I know it is what Dudley would want - he wouldn't want to see me sad all the time.

Take care and know that Summer wanted to visit you and she is happy.  <3
Karen

*  Duncan the Dane - taken WAY too soon (7/27/17 - 3/28/18)
*  Missing Dudley the Newf (3/13/08 - 6/12/17)
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AbbeyRoad52
I completely understand what you are feeling, because I'll I'm sitting in bed at 2:20 in the morning crying for the same reason. I lost my 16 yr old cat Dusty last October, its almost been a year and I still think about her every day. I miss her so much. I still grieve quite often like you. I'll be honest I dont think that pain part ever goes away, and I think part of us doesn't want it to out of fear we may forget our best friends, or by giving ourselves closure over it it means we're over it. I know I'll never be over it. She was too important and way too big a part of my life that a piece of my heart is gone with her. ❤
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jeffreyburcham
It's been a little over 15 weeks since my Satin left me and I too know the pain and the crying as you all do. Like you SadMom, the crying isn't as bad as it first was but it still is everyday. I just miss her so much. I continue to attend counseling sessions near me and we have a new lady there who lost her baby a few years ago and is still trying to cope. I cannot save another one, not yet, but I continue to help by donating to local and not so local shelters and rescue groups. It's the least I can do for her memory and to help me.
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Sadmom
zakatak -

After almost  a year without our sweet Summer we decided to get another golden.  The litter was born on August 30th.  My dream occurred two days after I found out that we were getting a new golden.  Maybe that was Summer's way of letting me know it is okay that we are getting another puppy.  After saying yes to the breeder about getting about puppy I started feeling tremendous guilt.  Maybe Summer was trying to tell me not to be guilty. 

What a wonderful gift to have a dream about Dudley and to be able to pet him and hug him. 

I still cry about Summer.  I am crying typing this message to you.  My grief has been coming in waves and today is a bad wave.  I am trying to get excited about getting our new puppy, but I am also scared.  I am scared that I won't bond with her and that I will constantly compare her to Summer.  I know it is the right time to get a new puppy.  My daughter said our house hasn't been the same since she passed away.  She also said she was very relieved to be getting a new puppy.

I am sorry for your loss.  Maybe Summer and Dudley are playing together at the Rainbow Bridge. 
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Sadmom
zakatak -

After almost  a year without our sweet Summer we decided to get another golden.  The litter was born on August 30th.  My dream occurred two days after I found out that we were getting a new golden.  Maybe that was Summer's way of letting me know it is okay that we are getting another puppy.  After saying yes to the breeder about getting about puppy I started feeling tremendous guilt.  Maybe Summer was trying to tell me not to be guilty. 

What a wonderful gift to have a dream about Dudley and to be able to pet him and hug him. 

I still cry about Summer.  I am crying typing this message to you.  My grief has been coming in waves and today is a bad wave.  I am trying to get excited about getting our new puppy, but I am also scared.  I am scared that I won't bond with her and that I will constantly compare her to Summer.  I know it is the right time to get a new puppy.  My daughter said our house hasn't been the same since she passed away.  She also said she was very relieved to be getting a new puppy.

I am sorry for your loss.  Maybe Summer and Dudley are playing together at the Rainbow Bridge. 
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Sadmom
Abbeyroad52 -

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I also understand about being awake because of the grief.  The pain is still there, it isn't as bad as it was but I still feel it.  I don't talk about how I feel anymore with family and friends because they just don't understand why I am still so upset. 

We are actually getting a new puppy next month.  I have very mixed feeling about getting one.  I am hoping that a new puppy will help with the emptiness I still feel from missing Summer.  This is the longest time we have gone between having a puppy.  When our first golden died we got Summer 4 months later.  I did have a hard time bonding with her because I wanted her to be my first golden, but I know that wasn't possible.  After about two weeks Summer and I were bonded and I loved her so much and am blessed to have had her in my life.  I am sure I will feel the same with a new puppy. 

I don't think we will ever forget our best friends.  They are with us forever.  It just hurts not having them with us. 
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Sadmom
JeffreyBurcham -

I am glad that you are still attending your counseling sessions.  15 weeks is still so early in the grieving process.  Next month will be a year since Summer passed away.  I am dreading the anniversary.  I know it will be difficult but I am going to do something to honor her memory that day.  That is wonderful that you are donating to the different groups.  That is one of the things I want to do to honor Summer. 

I understand about not being able to rescue another fur baby yet.  We are actually getting a new puppy in October.  I have very mixed emotions about it.  I know I am doing the right thing especially after my daughter told me that she is relieved that we are getting a new puppy.  I was surprised by that answer when I asked what she thought about getting a new puppy.  I thought she would say she was excited or scared.  She said it just hasn't been the same in our house since Summer passed away and I totally agree. 
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zakatak
Sadmom,

I am very happy to hear that you will be bringing a puppy home in October.  That is very good news and I think Summer knows that too (which is why she visited you).  I was very torn as well and what helped was buying a First Toy for the new puppy.  Then it made it real and you will feel the excitement build again.  This takes NOTHING away from your sadness at missing Summer - these are not correlated and are two separate things because you KNOW you are not replacing her but rather opening up your heart again to love.  

Just like we can love more than one child - we can love more than one dog.  It takes nothing away from our love of our angels to love another.  <3

Since we're in the same boat this fall, don't hesitate to reach out via email and we can connect.  So much to look forward to:  housebreaking, night time crying, training, etc.  :)  Among puppy breath, too, of course.

Hugs,

Karen
Karen

*  Duncan the Dane - taken WAY too soon (7/27/17 - 3/28/18)
*  Missing Dudley the Newf (3/13/08 - 6/12/17)
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AbbeyRoad52
Sad mom,

Congratulations on your new puppy. In just a short time I'm sure you will build a bond with them. They steal our hearts so quickly. 🙂

I'm trying to remember my Dusty as she was when she was healthy. I occasionally think of the day I took her in and that is what makes me cry. Seeing her that way. Plus I'm 32, and I brought her home when I was 15 so we grew up together over 16 years. This is her.
Congratulations on your new puppy. In just a short time I'm sure you will build a bond with them. They steal our hearts so quickly. 🙂

I'm trying to remember my Dusty as she was when she was healthy. I occasionally think of the day I took her in and that is what makes me cry. Seeing her that way. Plus I'm 32, and I brought her home when I was 15 so we grew up together over 16 years. This is her, how I want to remember her. 🐱
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Sadmom
AbbeyRoad 52 -

Dusty is so cute.  You were blessed to have grown up with her.  She was with you for the majority of your life.  We got my childhood dog when I was in the 2nd grade and she passed away when I was in college. 

I am hoping that I can form a bond quickly with the puppy and that maybe having a bond with her will help ease some of the pain I feel from losing Summer. 
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Sadmom
I am really struggling today with missing Summer.  The weather outside is reminding me of last year at this time when I would sit outside for hours with Summer.  She loved sitting on our deck.  That was her happy place.  I went to sit outside on our deck today and just burst into tears.  My emotions today are very raw. 
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Sadmom
Tonight marks one year since Summer passed away and went to the Rainbow Bridge.  Today has been difficult because I have spent the day reflecting on her last day of life last year.  I miss her so much and there are still times that I cannot believe that she is gone.  My heart still breaks for her.  I have been dreading this day for awhile because I knew the anniversary of her death would be difficult. 

I could really use some prayers and encouragement.

Thank you!
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Chinadoll
I want you to know, my heart and prayers are with you today. The love we feel for them never lessens never fades and each day, month and now year brings fresh pain. 
I'm not sure how I will get through my day when it comes in a few months, we can only do what we can. The memories are brought to the forefront on this day, Summer is with you today as she is every day. Bless you.
Charlie
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