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Julls

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Reply with quote  #1 
Two weeks on and I’m still crying and grieving the loss of my wee dog of 17 years! I walked the same river path with him for 14 years and now I can’t face walking the same route ever again. The house feels empty, his read chair in the window sits there without his presence. When I was tidying up today I found his wee toy below the sofa. Yet more tears. Do you ever get over the loss of your soul mate?? Do the tears ever stop? My health is at an all time low 😢 How can I move forward?? I’m desperate !
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FClaire

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Reply with quote  #2 
Awww I'm so sorry about your loss 😢 I lost my beautiful boy Ollie five and a half weeks ago. I'm absolutely heartbroken like you. The house is so quiet, lifeless.Theres a big hole in our lives. Even the garden which Ollie loved just is not the same anymore. Nothing feels the same anymore. It's a very dark place at the minute. And it seems so long ago that he was here😢 Crying from the minute I open my eyes, until I go to bed again. Can't eat. Not wanting to be here, even though I have family. Struggling through the day. Not wanting to go out. Stopped seeing friends. Full of guilt. And missing him so so much, that at times I just can't breathe. I just want him back 😢
However I can now say five and a half weeks on, I'm not quite as bad, believe me I was. I still cry every day, but not all day. When those waves come they probably aren't quite as high as they were in the beginning. But they still come. I have been assured it's very early days and it's still bound to be raw. So for you two weeks in it is very, very early days. All your feelings are normal. What I've learnt is you can't rush your grief. I was being too hard on myself, you probably are too, and we shouldn't. We just have to take it day by day. It will just take time. Honestly I truly believe it will get better for us. Just go through it. I for one didn't think I would get to this point where I would be able to give someone advice, and you will get here also. Just keep coming on here, there are some lovely people who understand and can support you. I'm struggling and desperately want Ollie back, but i'm now only just beginning to realise that's not going to happen 😢 I feel your pain so much 😢💔💔💔 Take care of yourself xxx
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #3 
Julls:

  I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain. I just lost my beloved Border Collie (Shelby) yesterday morning. I'm still in a state of shock. I can't stop crying. The pain is almost unbearable. I know I have to grieve and then move forward. I think you did the right thing by joining this forum to express your feelings. We're all here to support each other. Everyone grieves differently, Keep posting your thoughts. A lot of people really do care. Just take it slow and steady. 

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Jim Miller
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creole54

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Reply with quote  #4 

Julls - 

Two weeks is still so early.  Be kind to yourself.  It's been 5 weeks tomorrow that I had my precious Daisy put to sleep.  Yesterday was the 1st day that I didn't cry myself to sleep.  Our relationships with our pets are just as meaningful and close as they are with most of our family members, so our grief is just as intense.  I think it's harder for people who live alone.  Yes, your tears will eventually subside and you will eventually start to move forward, but don't put so much pressure on yourself to 'be done' with your grieving by a certain time.  

ETA:  I've never told anyone this, because I was afraid I'd sound like a nutjob, but I'm going to share it with you.  We have certain routines necessary to caring for our pets - feeding schedule, potty schedule, getting reading for bed, etc.  It was so hard for me to just stop the routine after my Daisy died.  One day I was sobbing to my daughter on the phone about how hard it was and she said, "Mom, just continue the routine for awhile.  Go ahead and fill her dish at feeding time.  Change out her water, fluff her blankets and get her bed ready at night time. Do it until you can face NOT doing it."  Well, I took her advice and it really did help.  I continued the routine for a couple of weeks and then was able to stop...except for bedtime.  I still fix her bed for her every night.  I know that eventually I'll be able to let that go, too.  But not yet.


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Teri Milbourn
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Pagmem

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Reply with quote  #5 
Hello everyone,

Thank you for this thread. It is so full of true grief and true love and caring. We all help each other. We all understand each other’s pain. I am so sorry for all your losses and your pain. I hope and pray that it will slowly become more bearable. Be gentle with yourself is perfect advice. Be patient. Don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you for feeling this way, because there isn’t. Weren’t we so lucky to have had them in our lives? I know I was.

Blessings and hugs,

Melissa

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Melissa
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Julls

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Reply with quote  #6 
Thanks Pagmem, creole54,BorderCollieLover and FClaire. Soo , soo sorry to hear about your wee dog, Shelby.... I know how much pain you are going through right now. It’s just devastating . They are such a massively huge part in our lives. When your having a downer of a day you only had to give them a kiss and sure as anything you got one back. It always put a smile back on my face.

Your absolutely right Creole54 routine was with me too as soon as the day begun. A walk always started my day with wee Nipper, that was his life. Thinking about you 5 weeks on too. It’s not a long time.

My wee man just arrived back in a little wooden box with his name on it at lunchtime there.It’s NOT nice.
A friend said that you can now have closure. I can’t have closure just like that. After 17 years I just can’t forget my dog.

Sending prayers and hugs to you all. I think it’s important not to bottle everything up. It’s good to let the grief and thoughts out.... I normally bottle it all up and feel very much alone. I’m glad I found this site.

Julls xxxxx
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Julls

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thanks Melissa for your kind words of support xxx
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BorderCollieLover

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Reply with quote  #8 
Dear creole54:


  I just read your post where your daughter recommended that you still do your dog's daily routine (feeding, etc.). I think that's an excellent idea. I hope you find some comfort in doing this. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's so true that we are used to the daily routine of walking, feeding and loving our little Soul-Mates. They depend on us. Now all that has changed for us. I was so used to taking my beloved Border Collie for her early morning walk ( 7 days a week year round), feed her and then love her that I am completely lost without that daily routine. It's only been a few days since my baby left me but the pain is very palpable. I have been reaching out to friends and family which has been very therapeutic for me. I steer clear of non pet people. You know the sort. They are always insensitive to anything other than their own needs. They just don't understand that we love our pets as if they are our children.  Keep posting on this site. We are here for you.

Jim Miller

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Jim Miller
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