Peach

I woke up and mum was laying in bed beside me. I moved my head over just a little so I can give her some good-morning kisses. She gave me a smile, but I could see sadness in her eyes. I didn't understand why. I know I haven't been feeling well for the last few days, but the day before mum got me some medication. It helped to make me feel a little better even though I am still very tired for some reason.

Mum carefully got up trying not to disturb me. She went to the kitchen. I didn't like that! I'm still sick, was she getting ready for work? Was she going to leave me here alone and frightened for hours? I have to stop her!

I'm weak but I can walk... sort of. By the time I reach the end of the hallway my legs couldn't hold me up anymore and I fell. Mum! Help!

I was so relieved when she came around the corner and took me in her arms. She knows I'm scared. She tells me that I am also brave, and assures me that she's not leaving me. I let myself relax... maybe a little too much... and I had an accident. Mum grabbed the roll of paper-towel and began to dry me off. I'm trying not to be embarrassed because I didn't mean to do it. I'm just not feeling very well today.

Soon after we're in her car. I'm not in a carrier this time. I'm wrapped in a soft red blanket. Mum is petting me in between shifting gears, and at red lights. She's telling me not to cry, that I'm going home now. I don't really understand what she means because we just left home, but I trust her so I sit calmly enjoying her gentle pets on my head and neck.

Next, mum is taking me out of the car and she carries me inside a building. I know this building, I was just here yesterday. This is where the nice man gave me some medication to make me feel a little better.
  
We are taken to a room and mum sits down with me in her arms, still wrapped in that nice, warm blanket. I know mum is very sad now. She's got tears in her eyes and she is trying not to let them fall. But she can't hide it from me. I don't just see that she is sad, I can also feel it too.

She is telling me that she loves me and to not be scared, I'm going home soon.
After a few more minutes a nurse came into the room. She says that she is going to give me a needle, just a little prick. I'm so tired that I barely even felt it. The nurse called me a good girl and told me that I was brave.
Mum put her head down and kissed me again, then whispered "I told you that you were brave."

Those are the last words I heard mum say.

I fell asleep and woke up somewhere else. As I opened my eyes, I could see my big brother! I had missed him so much!!

"You made it!" Beck says to me.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"We're at the meadows, it's perfect here, you'll love it!"

I look around. "Where's mum?"

"Mum isn't here yet." He explains. "We have to wait for her." 

I didn't understand. How did I get all the way out here if she hadn't come with me?
Beck lovingly explained that mum had made the difficult decision to let me go so I wouldn't have to be in pain. I remembered her tears and her sadness before I left earth and finally, I understood. She had saved me from pain but in exchange now she was the one who was left feeling pain. That didn't seem fair at all!

"She'll be fine, she will just need some time to grieve. Now it's our job to look out for her like she did for us all those years. She might not see us but she can feel us. I promise." Beck assured me. "She knows we're here waiting for her. We'll see her when it's her time to come home."

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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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nat
Wow that was beautiful. Some thing about reading it from their perspective gave me a calm inside. Hope you are doing well. Such beautiful cats! 
Natalie R
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Peach
Hi Nat,

Thank you for your kind words. When I was driving home after Sphinx's euthanasia, this is what I envisioned had just happened. It brought me some peace to think that she went from my arms to the loving arms of her brother. It's almost been a month and for whatever reason yesterday I felt compelled to write it as a first person perspective. Once I started typing, the words seems to flow naturally. 

I'm very glad it has helped give you some calm. I almost didn't post it because I thought it was silly, but then I remembered that this forum is full of so many kind-hearted people that would appreciate it. 
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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AngelsMomGina
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it here. I recently read the "Rainbow Bridge" poem for the first time and it led me to this forum. Though reading this and the "Rainbow Bridge" poem brought me to tears, it also brings me comfort knowing that I was able to be with her and hold her before I had to say goodbye. I like to imagine that she's playing with her older siblings and waiting for me to join her. 

Regardless, I miss her so much and it's still so hard to say goodbye. 
Angel's Mom Gina
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nat
It is not silly at all. I enjoyed reading it. It has been 5 months since I lost my Clifford and while reading this I hoped it was like this for him as well. I know yours and mine knew how much they were and are still loved. 
Natalie R
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teenyweenybb
Love the picture of Sphinx. They surely are waiting for you. Don’t forget that you can come near the Rainbow bridge before we pass from this world and meet a little with all our happy memories.
our love baby
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Peach
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it here. I recently read the "Rainbow Bridge" poem for the first time and it led me to this forum. Though reading this and the "Rainbow Bridge" poem brought me to tears, it also brings me comfort knowing that I was able to be with her and hold her before I had to say goodbye. I like to imagine that she's playing with her older siblings and waiting for me to join her. 

Regardless, I miss her so much and it's still so hard to say goodbye. 

You're welcome and thanks for taking the time to read it. I'm glad it brought you some comfort. I'm sorry about the loss of your cat Angel.

Rainbow Bridge is a lovely thought. I don't really know how much I believe in afterlife etc. although lately I've been more open to spirituality. But that poem does make me think of the animals that were never lucky enough to get a special person. I'd like to think they have a place there too.
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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Peach
Love the picture of Sphinx. They surely are waiting for you. Don’t forget that you can come near the Rainbow bridge before we pass from this world and meet a little with all our happy memories.

Thank you. And you're right, the memories they leave us with do keep them alive. 
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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Peach
It's been one month since I let you go Sphinx. I miss you so much, you have no idea. The grief of losing you cut deep... I wasn't ready and I never saw it coming. It was like going into surgery with no anesthetic. Thank you for giving me 13 wonderful years. I love you to the moon and back! Mum.

Aug 2007 - May 2020
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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened” ~ Anatole France
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