staop2003
I have a question that I hope someone can answer.  I've lost pets before and of course was upset and emotional but this time with Taz it's different.  The other dogs weren't "mine"...when I say "mine" I mean they didn't follow me around, snuggle with me, confort me when I cried...they were my husbands dogs (and one bulldog that was so independant she didn't think she needed anyone).  I hope people understand what I'm saying - I loved each and every dog but I loved Taz more - she was connected to me somehow.  No different then the others that were connected to my husband.  So here is my question - WHY?  Was Taz my four legged soul mate?  Why do I feel such a connection with her but not the others.  My suffering from her lost is so much deeper. 

And lastly - is there another Taz out there???  Will I find a puggy little face that I fall in love with again and "she" becomes part of me?  Will I ever get another Taz?   At this time I can't even imagine giving my heart so freely and open to so much pain in the future.  Not now.....maybe not ever. I don't know.

Taz's Heart Broken Mom - Stacy
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fireandice13
Stacy:

I totally believe that we do develop bonds with some pets that go beyond anything we could ever imagine.  Her Royal Highness Alexandria Graymalkin was one such with me.  My parents used to make comments about how unusual it for a cat to bond that completely with a human.  They say that cats are more territory based but with Alex I was her territory. 

I talked about in my own post that I've visited with my parents cats and as much I enjoy them and they are wonderful cats, I could never have that bond with them that I did with Alex.  I've also been thinking a lot about the issue of opening up my heart to another furry friend. I don't think there is any definitive answer.  We do know from the grief literature that the pain fades somewhat and that people do love again.  Whether you choose to do so or not is a personal choice.  For me I'm sort of thinking that if and when the time is right, another furry love will show up.  All of our cats have been strays or car accident victims.  Alex was a car accident victim as a kitten.  My parents have never gone out to purchase a cat or even gone to a shelter, the cats literally just show up.  The only exceptions are the cats they took from my grandmother when she could no longer care for them.  So what I'm thinking for myself is that when day when I'm ready or available another cat or kitten will be showing up along the side of the road and I'll get a call from my parents or I will be home visiting and they will suddenly tell me about their latest cat rescue and I trust that I will know that its time and its right. 

For now though it sounds like its best to take the time to grieve and honor Taz.  And I've been told it can take a year or more to really get to a place where its not hurting as much every day. 
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TomT
Soul mate...   that special bond with a best friend, either 2 or 4 legged, is a rare treasure.  The old lady in the picture to the left was that "soul mate" for me.  I often joke that Starr loved me more than my own Mother did, and Mom could sometimes be embarrassing!  Staop, you were a very lucky one to have that with Taz, and it's something you will never forget. 

Will you find another Taz?  Probably not. There is nobody like Taz, she was her own special and unique being.  That being said, you most certainly will be able to open your heart to another, and that Love will be equally unique and special in its own way when the time is right for you.

I sometimes like to share this story...  "A dog builds a den, lives there, and then leaves.  Another dog comes along, looks into the den, and says to himself, "I can't live in this den.", and builds a den of his own.  These dens are built in our hearts, and there is room for many."

If you would like to read Starr's story, there should be a link at the bottom of this post.  I do pray you Peace and Comfort during this painful time.
sincerely,

TomT
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tikibarb
Stacy, I truly understand.  In my 53 years, I have known, loved, and lost many animals.  None has ever hit me as hard as the loss of my Beloved Ted last week.  Like you and Taz, we had a special bond that many never experience in their lifetime.  The joy Ted brought me was indescribable and the pain seems almost insurmountable. I will however, make an effort to open my heart again.  Taz and Ted would not want us to be sad and lonely.  They worked too hard during their too short lives to bring us joy to see it all go down the tube.  I am confident that they are looking over us now hoping that we find comfort and solace.  
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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Susie_Squillions
Dear Stacey,

Whether or not there is such a thing as a soul mate is a very personal thing, but I happen to believe that we are destined to make certain connections in our lives.  Sometimes those connections are with people or animals with whom the bond is so strong that "soul mate" is the only way to describe it.  I had such a bond with T.J. (my "Taz," as in "Akerr's Tazzmaniac, Jr.). It doesn't mean that I loved him more or loved him better than the others.  It tells me that he and I had a soul-deep connection that went beyond anything I can put into words. 

Here it is, four months and one week without him by my side.  The tears still well up when I write about him and I need to slow down and take a breath more often than when I write about anything else.  He was as much a part of me as the air I breathe and the food I eat.  He and I were one unit in two bodies.

Will there ever be another Taz for you?  Probably not, but there will be others to love. Again, this gets into personal territory, but I do believe that our animals are our guides in a way and that when they leave us physically they help us to make new connections with new best friends.  Taz will have a paw in helping you find a love that will help you to heal.  We just need to be open not only to the new love, but to a new kind of connection too.  Maybe you will find a bond with a comedian to make you smile and bring you happiness.  Maybe it will be a little physician or nurse who will monitor your healing and keep you comfortable and at peace with what you have experienced so far.  Who knows?  Taz does.  He will guide you and the next lucky one together and you won't have much to say about it.   But you will know when you receive this gift from him.

And if I'm wrong and it's all a crap shoot, who cares as long as we feel better and find new friends and new bonds?  That's what matters most.


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Mackie
Dear Stacy,

I am so sorry about Taz.  I completely understand what you are saying.  I've had cats since I was 6 (41 now) and I never had a cat like my beloved Boomer.  He was always on my lap or at my side...he behaved much like a dog.  In fact, I called him "my little golden retriever".  He passed on March 22nd, almost 4 months ago.  When I learned, over a year ago, that Boomer would eventually be leaving us due to a bone tumor (rare in cats), I told the vet that I didn't know WHAT I was going to do when the dreaded time came.  She said, "Every now and then you get your once-in-a-lifetime.  If you're lucky, you'll get two.  Boomer is definitely your once-in-a-lifetime."

So, I know I will love other cats, but I in no way expect that the bond will be even close to what I shared with Boomer.  It almost can't be, because it would be impossible to replicate all the experiences he and I went through in our 12 years together.  I miss him beyond words and it HURTS, but I try to remind myself how lucky I was to have him in my life.

It's very difficult -- my thoughts are with you.

Mackie

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GentleGeorge

Stacy, yes Taz was your soulmate!  It doesn't matter if they have 2 or 4 legs.  There's a bond that's unbreakable.  Will you find another?  Maybe in a different way sure, but it won't be the exact same, but you wouldn't want an exact same.  There's not another you, and there's not another Taz, and that's a good thing because that's why Taz was so SPECIAL!  You will most likely open your heart at the right time to another pet, but take your time and you'll just know when the time is right.  Hang in there...it's a tough journey!

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staop2003
Thank you everyone.  It's one small step every day - i know that it will get better and the healing will begin....and being here helps.

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donnalee

Yes Stacy, I feel pretty much the same way you do.   I have never had a dog before in my life....I never even wanted a dog.  I always loved cats.   I got Scottie for my daughter but she was in high school by that time and didn't really have time for the responsibilities of a puppy, so he became mine.  Oh my goodness, the bond, the connection, the love that developed was something I had never experienced before.  He was very devoted to me and I was very devoted to him.  For the 5 years of his short life, I didn't take trips because I couldn't bear to leave him.  I know I'll never love another like I loved him but I truly hope I find it in my heart to give a loving home to another when the time is right.  I believe what the others have said here that it won't be the same because every relationship is unique but it will be possible to love another again.   

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