nadene
I had my dog Sophie, a Terrier/Chihuahua  mix.  She was 14 years old, and we had to have her put to sleep on Friday, March 3.  It was so fast, I almost really don't know what happened.  She got sick, and was throwing up, so I took her to the vet, all within a matter of 2 weeks.  All of her tests were good.  I was so happy.  I brought her home, but she wouldn't eat.  She just lay in her bed, and didn't move much.  She stopped coming upstairs to where I was.  I couldn't stand watching her, and couldn't bear the thought of letting her just exist.  My heart is so broken, I can hardly stand it.  I see her everywhere, and I just am so used to talking to her, that I want to call her name.  But she is gone.
Quote 0 0
Chinadoll
Nadene, I am sorry for your loss of Sophie, I know by your words how painful you feel and how difficult it is for you. I'm glad you came to this forum, I came here over a year ago and so many people have helped me through some of the most darkest days, I am so thankful. I still talk to my dogs, I feel like they are still here on occasion, checking on me and my wife. I believe they live on, we are bonded with love forever, it cannot be lost or disappear. I write to them, keep a journal, and light a candle each week and spend time with them, memories. The early days and weeks and months are the worse, just take it one hour at a time and ever so slowly you will get through this, the pain will ease a little and the memories of the wonderful times will be foremost in your mind. Whenever you can, if you feel like it, you could tell us a little more about Sophie, her story, sometimes it can help, but only when you are ready. We never 'get passed' the missing, that will always be a part of your life, there will be days when it's worse, waves of grief, but there will also be days of quiet reflection, of how much we loved them and how much they returned that love. I pray for peace, for comfort during these difficult days. Blessings to you.
Charlie
Quote 0 0
catiebee
Nadene, I'm so very sorry. It hurts like nothing else and is terribly raw pain, especially the first few days.  They are so precious and that decision is heartrending but necessary. I hate that you're having to walk through this. 

You're surrounded here by people who understand the grief all too well and know how devastating it feels.

Take care of you and write as much and as often as you need to.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
Quote 0 0
nadene
Thank you both for your kind words.  I really don't know what do, and who to talk to.  I feel like my world is falling apart around me.  I always called her "Sweetness," and she would blink her eyes, and wag her tail.  She followed me all around, and I am lost without her.  I feel like I am going crazy, the pain is so gutwrenching.  She had a bed downstairs, and a bed upstairs by my desk, and when I work she would lay in her bed, but when it was suppertime, she came around to my side of the desk to stare at me, so I would come down and cook.  She loved to watch me chop vegetables, especially sweet red bell peppers, cause she loved them and she jumped up and nipped my arm, until I gave her one.   I know the pain will pass at some point, but I just don't know what to do right now.  
Quote 0 0
Avabear
Nadene, I had my beautiful sweet girl Ava put to sleep today, I am utterly beside myself, I can barely sit still.  Like you I have been calling her name and talking to her as if she is still here because I live on my own and would talk to her as if she were a person. Like you I also know the pain will pass at some point but I literally don't know what to do with myself, my skin is literally crawling like I want to step outside of myself,  I am restless, I can't seem to settle, nothing seems right and everything seems wrong.  I'm here going through this journey, you are not alone. You mention your desk, do you work at home?  I only ask because I work from home and am not sure how I will cope, it's not like I will go to work tomorrow and have the temporary distraction of being out of the house.
Avabears mummy

'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon

 

Quote 0 0
sheila88
We had to lose our tiny chorkie on the 1st March... i feel for you so much, our little dog was 15. I see her all the time too and the grief is overwhelming. The wonderful people have comforted me so much, im glad you came to the forum, it will help. Time is the only healer im afraid, im struggling badly, far more than i thought i would, and i expect you are the same. Hang in there.... we, and all the others on here are bound together by grief, and understand how you feel. Im not sure i will ever get over Meg, i know she will never leave my heart. The pain of missing her is physical. I will think of you tonight and hope you gain a little peace. Xxxx

Quote 0 0
nadene
Avabears Mummy,  I feel very badly for your grief.  I do work from home, and Sophie was my helper.  My husband works outside the home, so I feel very alone, and don't know what to do.  My sister is worried about me, and texts me every day.  She told me to take care of myself, but I don't know what that means or how to do that.  I also talked to Sophie as if she were a person, I told her good morning, talked to her through the day, told her good night, all of that. Today I went to the gym for a walk for about 30 minutes.  I took a car ride, but didn't really know where to go.  I went and got lunch, but didn't really want it. I started writing letters to her, as someone mentioned that they do that, and I love it.  In the summer, we would sit out in the sun for a brief break, and I just enjoyed her, and now she is gone.  We will get through this, and I am so glad you found this forum.  We will do this together, somehow.  I don't think any of us know how, I don't know how.  We will just put one step in front of the other, go to bed, wake up, and repeat.  That is what I am doing.  I have been burying myself in my work, and will make myself strong in her memory.  That will not be today or tomorrow, it will be gradually, but it will happen.  Through her, I am learning so much that pets are gifts, and they are only temporary gifts.  Please post here, and I will see your posts when you are feeling alone, and I hope that we can go through this together.
Quote 0 0
nadene
Sheila,

I am so sorry for your loss of your little one. No matter their age, it doesn't make the pain any less.  However long we have them is never long enough.  I would put something in the oven and turn on the timer, although I could hear it, she would run up the steps to tell me it was ringing. It will hurt ever so badly, but we will survive.  Just know that this is not going to kill us, it might seem like it, but in all honestly, we have to learn to celebrate their love, to celebrate their life.  We will get through this.  I am going to pray for your strength, because I know you have it inside of you.  One step at a time, one day at a time.  Please post here as often as you can.  I will answer you whenever I see your post.  
Quote 0 0
RileysMom
Nadene,

I am so very sorry for your loss. The early days are very difficult. Just wanted to stop by and send some hugs your way...
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

Quote 0 0
Avabear
Nadene I can relate to not knowing what looking after myself looks like without Ava, for me looiking after myself was spending time with Ava, being with her was what I did when I felt sad, lonely, stressed or any other negative feeling or if I was sick, being with her and doing things for her was a form of self care for me now I don't have that I'm not sure how to care for myself.  It's good your trying to get out and do things, working from home can in itself be quite isolating so it's lovely that upi have a sister who cares for you and is worried about you. I hope your doing ok.
Avabears mummy

'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon

 

Quote 0 0
nadene
Thank you Val, it is very difficult, but this too shall pass, and only good memories will remain.  
Quote 0 0
nadene
Avabears mummy,

I know I am lucky, but somehow we have to find a way, find the strength that we have within ourselves to go on, and find a new normal.  It is definitely not easy, but it has to be.  I will pray that in time your heart can remember her in happy times, and that you will find a way to go on.  I can feel your pain, and your grief, grieve for as long as you have to.  Do something in memory of your precious Avabear, and know that she would want you to go on.  My heart hurts with you.
Quote 0 0
Avabear
Thank you so much for your kind words Nadene xx
Avabears mummy

'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon

 

Quote 0 0
catiebee
I hope you're doing as well as possible, Nadene. I'm sure you're still missing Sophie terribly, but your attitude sounds good and you sound determined to make it safely through your grief journey.  My heart goes out to you over your loss. I hope if you feel it will help, that you'll keep writing. Everyone understands how much your girl meant to you, and there's a lot of compassion here. 

Best to you!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
Quote 0 0