silvermini3
I lost my Beau 4/23/16 and came across this site somehow shortly after his passing. It has been a wonderful experience for me. Sharing my story and reading others' has helped immensely with my loss and grief. I've witnessed new and raw grief, healing and acceptance and everything in between. I had posted early on that I found the people on this site to be some of the most compassionate people I have encountered. That still holds true today. Bailey15, CKMP, Jimmy17, Weepatchesoflove, Mededitor, Winlove, GeeAnn, Winstonsmom12, Elliemeewiz, Baileysbro, Cam, CK1991, you were some of the first names I encountered. I suspect because we all were in the same place and time in our grief when I first came here. Names of people/pets I have never met or known prior, but somehow, by sharing our stories, it has made me feel like I know them now. Some of the names have changed since April, but the experiences remain the same. As I continue to heal, I find my visits here are less frequent. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I think, in my personal case, my healing has provided me with less of a need to visit. Although I'm sure I will always "touch base" every so often, as this site will continue to teach me further.  I have had three silver minis in my lifetime, one killed by a car slightly before her time, one that died of old age and most recently, one who died of cancer long before his time. The last two, I made the decision to free. Three very different dogs, three very different, but unique experiences along the way. And each experience has taught me great things about myself, others and life. I, at this time, do not see a pet in my immediate future, who knows what the future holds though. I, for the time being, am wanting to exert my energy into animals in a different way. Maybe volunteering at a rescue, maybe just continuing to enjoy the animals in my backyard. And I'm o.k. with that for now. Ginny, I want to thank you for developing this site. It has been a godsend for many, including myself. 

I want to share/reiterate some of the things I've learned through this site and through my readings that have helped me with this recent journey of mine...

To end our pet's suffering, we must choose to accept our own.

Guilt is the result of the profound sense of responsibility and love we feel toward our pets.

Defining quality of life and making the decision to free our pets is different for each person and each pet. 

Our pets are masters at hiding pain from us. It's innate.

If our pets are terminally ill and if they are suffering and unable to function, the decision we make is not whether their lives will end, but how.

We did and continue to do the best we can, with what we're given. 

We each have a journey, as do our pets.

We are not alone in all of this. 

And finally, I guarantee each of you that our pets were very loved and well cared for, or none of us would be here on this site. 

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keep_swimmin
Hi! I just registered on this site today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us. I really do feel blessed to have found this website. Many people don't understand that pets are so so so much more than just animals that live in our homes. Pets are FAMILY. My Lucky meant the world to me. I'm so blessed to have found a community of people who truly understand.
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ELIZAQBETH1
THANKS FOR ALL YOU POSTED SILVERMINI3.  I CAN CRY WITH WHAT YOU SAID AND I KNOW IN MY HEART ITS THE TRUTH AND THAT WILL GET US THROUGH..ITS BEEN 7 MONTHS SINCE I LOST MY BEAUTIFUL COCKAPOO CODY.. MY DAUGHTERS STILL SLEEP WITH HIS TOYS IN THEIR BEDS.. I KEEP REPLAYING IT OVER AND OVER AND LEARNED TO KEEP BUSY..THE PAIN IS THERE BUT KNOW I CAN TELL STORIES ABOUT HIM AND MOSTLY LAUGH.. IN MY PRIVATE MOMENTS I CRY AND I TAKE OUT HIS LOCK OF HAIR TO KEEP CLOSE TO ME... I GUESS THE ANSWER IS DAY BY DAY....TAKE CARE
BONNIE
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jimmy17
Hi Silvermini, what a lovely post, and how I agree with all your pointers regarding our beautiful animals.  Every single one resonates with me, especially that nasty emotion called guilt - even 8 months after losing my dog Jim I still can feel a tiny bit of it, however irrational I know it is. 
 I now find I can go a few days without coming here, but something always draws me back - that feeling that if I can give even the smallest bit of comfort to any of the newly bereaved, then I will try my best - just as I received so much help in those first dark days of my own loss.  I`ve never in my life known so many compassionate and caring people who love their animals so much ( I just wish ALL animals were so lucky), and even though we come here in so much pain, that love we have for them shines through every post. 

                                                      Hugs, Jackie
J Taylor
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DieselDaddy
Great post and sums up just about every thought/concern I had.
Thank You!
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camunki
well said Silvermini....and as Jackie stated (me also going on over 8 months)....i can now go one or two days of not posting here, yet, i too come back and give the smallest bit of comfort to the newly bereaved.

This is a painful journey we are all on, and this site has saved me in many ways.

Thanks for your post!

Cam


 
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CKMP
Well expressed Silvermini - I too echo your sentiments and observations.  Many of you, so many pulled me through some very dark days and moments . . . and continue to do so.  The kindness and compassion is so evident throughout all the posts and so so appreciated.  Leaning on all the shoulders here has been so immensely critical to not losing my mind some days.  There is wisdom in all the voices expressed here but more so that love for each and every fur companion rings clear and loudly through each voice.  I am very very grateful to have 'met' many here, yourself, Robin2003, Camunki, Jimmy 17, Baileysbro, Sammi Jo, Ell99, Elliemeewiz, Weepatchesoflove, Squirrelcatcher, Winstonsmom and BeachieGirl33 and so so many more - and yet at the same time so sorry we have . . .  I too am thankful for Ginny's vision in developing this site.  It will have helped thousands at critical times . . . 
I am like many, a day or two and then I am back to touch my gone girl's thread once in a while and to let those know, who have helped me, I have not forgotten their losses and support. Don't know if any of my words or posts help others but am still keeping my fingers crossed at times there is some comfort there for others.  It seems the journey is a long one for me to wander through . . . and like Jackie still struggle some days/moments with that guilt --- But I know what you have said is true . . .
Thank you to all, and to you Silvermini for a wonderful post - great thoughts and so 'spot-on' reflections and lessons.   
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JaspersMom2016
I just discovered this site and reading these beautiful posts is helping me cope.  I have only lost my dear, sweet pup 5 days ago.  I loved this post.  Thank you for sharing.
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winstonsmom12
Well said Silvermini.  You echo everyones sentiments on this site.  If we didn't love and care for our pets like family, we wouldn't bother grieving like we do.  I know my Winston has given me a new perspective on love and caring for an animal.  Thank You   Sue
Susan
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Alicat
I remember your name Silvermini, along with Winstonsmom when I joined this site at the beginning of June.
You both provided me with understanding and comfort after the loss of my beautiful 6 month old Cockapoo puppy Bella, she was killed by a car and had been our comfort after having our Westie Skye put to sleep earlier in the year.
I too found this site a wonderful outlet for my grief and looking back now feel so glad to have found you all.
I have not visited for a while as I have been healing too but I intend to revisit and try to provide some support in the future to people suffering the same pain as I did.
Healing for me has been in the form of another Cockapoo puppy, she came along earlier than expected, we joined a waiting list which should have taken a while but she was unexpectedly available and we decided to go ahead earlier than planned.
We have called her 'Riva' which is Latin for 'regain strength' something we all needed after our tragic loss of Skye and then Bella this year.


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Winlove
Thank you for mentioning me and remembering me. I enjoy reading your thoughts. Sometimes I like reading posts about general thoughts.
I like your idea of volunteering for the time being. Leaving yourself open to different experiences; going a different route than pet ownership but yet still helping animals.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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Jody
Thank you for your post. Though I was not with you during your hard times, I feel grateful to have read your post. It is giving me strength and no words can describe how geateful I am for that. I am sorry for your loss. I am still in a dark place of sadness losing my golden suddenly through the night at 7yrs old. It will be three weeks tomorrow and I know I still have a longer journey of pain and acceptance ahead of me. Thank you for your beautiful post...
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mededitor
Dear silvermini3,

I am in a similar situation. I, too, find myself visiting less as time goes by. I haven't left, it's just no longer part of my nighttime ritual.

My baby, Mikki, died on June 8. As a reminder, she had kidney cancer that spread to her lungs and ultimately to her brain. She had a seizure her last night at home. As silvermini3 has said---and I agree 100%---it's up to us to do what is best for our furbabies, not necessarily for us. That morning, Mikki was put to sleep permanently while she was in my arms. It was the right thing to do.

I cried for weeks, sometime gut-wrenching cries. I couldn't believe my baby was gone. I had a hard time getting out of bed each morning. I went into that "dark place" after my husband died and I couldn't do it again, I was afraid I might not get out of it.

So two-weeks ago I adoted Brandy. She is a 6- to 8-year-old chihuahua/yorkie mix (and maybe some mini schnauzer). She was owner surrendered (to a kill shelter in NYC) due to moving and rescued the following day. I'm lucky that I got a really good girl again.

My heart still has a huge hole for my Mikki, but Brandy is filling another spot. I never planned to adopt again and certainly not so soon, but I couldn't stand coming home to an empty house.

It's only the people here who "get it." A few stand out and silvermini3 was one for me. Our beliefs about when to put down our furbabies were the same, which made it easier for me.

So now Brandy is in my life, greeting me with her "happy dance" when I come home. My heart still aches for Mikki, but it also lifts when I watch Brandy and her antics.

There are no easy answers to any of this. There can't be, they are truly a part of our lives. I know it's not for everyone, and I didn't expect to adopt again so soon myself, but for me it was the right thing to do.

I wish everyone some relief of their pain and the ability to smile again. In the meantime, allow yourself to grieve however you feel, there is no rule book despite what some friends or family might imply.

Mededitor
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silvermini3
So very happy for both of you, Alicat and Mededitor....I have no doubt that Riva and Brandy will be very loved and cared for. They will serve a different, but very good purpose as well...they all do....
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