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Sil

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Reply with quote  #1 
It was May 2006, when you came into my life.  And for eleven years, you gave me unconditional love, incomparable companionship, you were my  fearless protector, my confidant, but most of all you brought light into my life. I named you Sol (which means Sun). One thing I am sure, you knew how much I loved you....we both shared a very special bond, a bond that could only happen between a human and a dog - even though, I never really refer to you as dog, you were/will be my Sol.  I will always miss you, your essence and your love will be secured in my heart.  After, you left......the pain was excruciating, raw, I felt lost,  I felt "incomplete", could not eat, could not function, all I wanted to do was cry. 

I wanted time to pass but at the same time, I wanted time to keep "still" and not even forget the pain, I did not want to forget anything about my Sol.  I would re-live, your last days and think -What If this? What If that?.  Guilt filled me, consumed me. 

Sol, Please, Please forgive me if I caused you pain, it was not my intention, the pain of knowing that the end was near blinded me. 

But, time does heal, little, by little.  Yes, I do miss you and yes, I still cry.  But, I realized how much you loved me, and how tensed you would get whenever, you sensed, I was in distress.

We all hurt when we lose our fur babies, but be patient and  be kind and take one day at a time,  Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings for my fur-baby-boy.   - Sol=Sun

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #2 
Sil
That is beautiful. You have expressed exactly what I feel about my Boo who I also got in 2006 and was with me for eleven years and eight months. What you said about being blinded knowing the end was near is on the mark. I think back and wonder why I didn't do this or maybe that. The truth is I didn't know what to do during that last hour. It haunts me at times thinking about it but I am trying. Really trying. Thank you for your words to Sol. Very very comforting

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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #3 
Sil,
I am so so sorry for your loss of Sol...A beautiful name for a beautiful companion ...maybe not only your 'Sun' but also your 'Soul'....Grief - overwhelming at times and then other times it seems 'manageable' - Somehow grief weaves its way throughout the days, and throughout our being now...We punish ourselves over and over - guilt over what we did, what we did not do and what we should have done, could have done...We can find the way to see for others that the right decisions were made at the right time but is too often something we never award to ourselves.  This journey is filled with steps moving us forward but then also twists, turns and detours that seem to complicate the road even more.
Your words to your Sol are so so pure - from your heart to her heart.  What a wonderful way to express your bond - and now Sol is indeed your essence -An angel with fur always with you and about you - still your protector and still the carrier of all those shared 'secrets' and moments.  Your special fur one is forever that - your special one...and tears are now the droplets of love that need release...Your Sol sounds like a sweetheart but one with courage and loyalty...she will never be far...
Here there are so many that understand and are shoulders for support, for those days it is overwhelming or who would love to share your Sol's life.  She mattered and always will and always should..Never far from you - Take care.
 
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #4 
CKMP,

I am smiling though my tears, many, many times people would think that "Sol was a girl, he was a boy".   I still remember, that  time, I took Sol to the vet, and someone said, "what a pretty girl", so, I turned Sol around and he said "Oh, he's got the goods" and "we, both humans laughed".  I would always tease Sol about, people confusing him for a girl.  So, thank you, you made me smile.
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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #5 
Sil,
I am sorry...and to Sol, your Sun and Soul... my very sincerest apology.  Indeed he 'must have the goods' ...super handsome and beautiful from the inside all the way to the outside.  Take care.
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #6 
CKMP,

No worries, your words are so kind and full of compassion and empathy.  Thank you
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Snowfire

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Reply with quote  #7 
Hope it's getting better and sorry too. Sol beautiful name. Love the vet story and thanks for the laugh I needed.
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #8 
Sol,

My very special doggie, please know that, You will forever be in my heart, I will not forget you ever.  My love for you does not have an expiration date.  The bond that we share will continue.  The best pictures that I have of you, "are the ones I took with my heart".

You have been the best doggie ever, and I feel "honored" to have you in my life (not using past tense).  I will not forget, how many times you stayed by my side whenever, I had an anxiety/panic attack.  You knew our routine.  Go to the upstairs bathroom, roll a camping mattress on the floor, cold wet towels for my face, a fan and my medicine.  The episode would last hours, and you would never leave - your presence is what got me through.  When the episode was over, you would be my side, smelling/licking my face, or by my feet trying to keep me warm. You never hesitated to protect me from whatever or whoever always.  You sensed when I was in distress, how brave and loyal, my fur baby.

Remember all those endearing terms, "Papatitos" (playing with words in Spanish, that means little daddy), mi almas (my souls -plural) and precious.  These are the names, I use, whenever, you come into my mind, because, you will always bring me joy - I will not be using the past tense anymore - because, from now on, you will be my Angel Dog.

I need you to know that, my heart, little, by little has been working in putting all of its pieces back together.  The journey has been really painful and tough.   My heart still aches, but, I know that you would want me to be happy. 

Sol, I adopted a female German Sheppard puppy.  Her name is Maya.  In this house it has been the first and only eleven months without a fur baby - This house felt so empty without a fur baby -.  Maya needed a home and We - hubby and I - needed Maya.   

Sol, you have given me unconditional love and loyalty - now, those are the things that I cannot live without. 

Sol, my beloved fur baby, stay by my side through this journey.  Sol=Sun

Hugs


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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #9 
Sol sounds so wonderful and I know you miss him terribly.  How precious, the way he would come alongside and comfort you during anxiety attacks! 

I hope the days are getting a little easier for you. I smiled to read that you have Maya now. Take gentle care of you.

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Sil

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Reply with quote  #10 
Sol, my precious fur baby boy, you have been gone eleven months, seventeen days,  -  and this has been a very tough and painful journey.  But,  your presence in my life was worth all the pain - You will stayed secured in my heart.   Great love=Great loss.    

Sol, I have managed, so, thank you, for teaching me how to be strong and how to enjoy just being.  Hugs


 
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #11 
Sol, the last time you were in my arms was July 17, 2017.  In a few more days - will be July 17th - a whole year without you in my life. 

I am dreading that day....I'm crying now...but, will keep typing.  For the first months, I felt numb, and tried so hard to "suppress" the pain, because, "at work, I needed to be in control".  Your last moments, still haunt me.  Please forgive me, If I caused you pain.  It was not my intention. 

Sol, I will always miss you, because you were an essential part of my being.  Tears will visit my eyes, memories will be happy and sad at the same time...……...

But, Sol you were a blessing in my life and my heart has grown, because, you taught me to love with all the pieces of my heart.  

Hugs.






 

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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #12 
Dear Sil,

Sending you big warm hugs and comfort. Your baby Sol forgives you, he knows you did your best and love him so much and forever, you are he best mommy in the world Sol could ever ask for. I know next Tuesday the 17th is going to be painful to know a whole year without your Sol and your birthday shortly after. 💔 You have been in my thoughts. Sol is watching over you. Big hugs 💛💕🐾

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Sil

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Reply with quote  #13 
Sol, 

Tomorrow, Tuesday, July 17, 2018, will be one year, since you said good bye....the first of many. 

I must type today, because, tomorrow, my heart will ache,
Your presence has been missed, your smile is gone away,
But, your love and memories will forever stay.

My heart will beat, to the silence of your heart,
I named you Sol, which means Sun,
And, fresh tears will roll down my face,
Every time, I see the Sun.

By Sol's mom

My Sol, was a very special male doggie.  He came into my life, when I needed him the most.  How did he know? All, I know is that Sol was a beautiful blessing in my life.
He gave me comfort, he was my best medicine during my anxiety episodes.  Sol was a strong being, so he taught me, to use the strength within me.  To not anticipate life, just live "in the moment".  Sol was a mixed lab, with a mixture of "jumping genes" - he was a jumper.  It helped that he only weighted 40 pounds.  His routine was a "high jump with several twists in mid air" and he would repeat this again and again.  Sol did not care for playing fetch, oh no, Sol did not want to just "bring me back a ball or stick".  Sol, loved to run and be chased by me....he would "tag" me with his wet nose and beckon me to chase him, and he would do again and again...…

These are the memories that bring me joy....these are the memories that I want to visit. 

The pain in my heart will stay but ONLY as a reminder of a wonderful creature who gave me unconditional love.  

Sol:  To my "human"

"I was about four months old, when I escaped.  I chewed and chewed the rope that tied me, and now I only had a piece of rope around my neck.  I walked, and walked, and in the dark, I saw a dim light, there were stairs that lead to a small covered porch attached to a  house .  A perfect place to rest my tired and achy body.  I fell asleep, when the door opens, there were two humans - a boy and his father.  There was no place to hide, so I run past them, and got inside the house. Inside the house, there was a glass-top-lamp table, and I just got under it.  In a moment, there were two more humans - Claudia and her husband.  Husband bends down, I growled and whimpered, but he was able to pulled from underneath the table...and carefully removed the bloody tight rope around my neck.  As soon as he placed me down, I run underneath the table again. I was so scared..  Claudia brought food and water, but, I stared afraid to move.  The door bell rings and Claudia opened the door....and this other human walked in.  From underneath the table, I just stared.  This human bends down and through the glass top table, our eyes locked.  And, I Knew - This Is My Human.  Our story begins and for the next eleven years, we formed an unbreakable bond. My special human gave me so much love.  She vanished all my mistrust in humans.  She did her best to cure my frail body...she stayed by my side...but, I did not want her to see my soul leave by body.  I wanted to spare her the pain.  I know my special human better than she knows herself.  My physical being is not with her anymore, but my spirit follows her everywhere she goes.  I see her sadness, see her tears, smell her fear. All I want to tell her is that her love sustained me and I will wait for my special human in the light".

This is what I hope, Sol would say about me.  



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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #14 
Sil, I cried as I read this last night, it’s beautiful. A year is hard to digest, I don’t have eloquent words to share. My words are lacking, lost, as I’ve just passed 6. I see you’ve been up all night😔 I’m sure you and Sol had quite the walk down memory lane. I have no doubt he was at your side to greet his namesake, the sun. I wish you a heart and soul full of warm fuzzies today as the sun, and Sol surround you with love🐾
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #15 
Sil, what a wonderful tribute to your Sol....and yes the One year anniversaries are so very hard, brings back so many memories and seems like we miss our babies even that much more.

With love & light.........your Sol loves you sooooo very much, and thanks you for the wonderful 11 years you gave to him, a life filled with love he never knew existed, with patience and time that love just kept on growing.

Wishing you a peaceful day as it can be with many fond memories of your darling lil' boy.

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