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Reply with quote  #1 
My beloved Haupia is gone.  Sunset today 2/23/10 at 6:20pm. That's just 4 hours ago and I dont know what to do. I'm lost without you. You gave us so much love and I feel that I let you down. I dont know how long you had pyometra or how long your heart was enlarged but I feel I could have done something sooner and I'm sorry, please forgive me. Please don't leave me here all alone. What am I to do without your morning kisses...or your afternoon rides...or your evening games with the kids.  I'm sorry I let you down.
It really feels like MY heart is enlarged...this is pain that I have never felt.
My baby's story...Haupia (Hunners) is my 12 going on 13 years old in 4 days She is a golden minature Pomeranian.  She was fine last week and then Saturday couldn't eat and got weak. Took her into the vet on Monday to find out she had those problems, had surgery that day doctor was shocked she made it thru surgery. We visited her Tuesday morning and then went back Tuesday evening to say goodnight. She told her daddy that she was tired and could no longer fight it...but we told her she had to...she said she would try but dont be mad at me if I can no longer fight....we left the vet at 6:00pm to go across the street to get vegis and the vet calls to say shes crashing come and say goodbye....but I had already told her goodbye and that it was okay...I found Rainbows Bridge and I will help you find some friends there.
Pray for us as I will pray for you all on Rainbows bridge....goodnight my Hunners...I love you...

Posts: 947
Reply with quote  #2 
Dear MoMo,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and about the confusion and guilt you feel.  Your loss is so very fresh, and you are in a state of deep shock.  I wish I could ease your way but each of us must find our own foothold on the path to healing.  I hope you will find the same comfort and encouragement here that I did when I first arrived after experiencing a sudden loss of my own.

It's a normal response to sudden loss for us to question what we did or didn't do, saw or didn't see, etc.  The fact is, as soon as you were aware that there was a problem, you acted and did your best to help your sweet Hunners (I love that nick name!).  You did the best you could with the information you had, and that's all any of us can do.  Our animals are hard wired to hide signs of illness or injury in the wild in order to avoid becoming prey.  Even when they can't hide it any longer, they can't tell us what their symptoms are, so we and their vets have to try our best to discern what the problem is.  Sometimes we are fortunate and get it right on the first try, and other times we have to do some troubleshooting to find the root of the problem.  But there is no question that we do the best we can.

Haupia was so very lucky to have found her way to you.  I can feel your love for her in every word you've written, and the bond you share with her is palpable.  The love you share will last forever, and it will continue to grow.  True love never dies, and there is no truer love than we share with our best friends.  Talk to Haupia, she will hear you. 

When I first came here, JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) had just published an article about a condition called "Broken Heart Syndrome."  They finally had identified and validated what all of us here knew at the time:  Our hearts really do hurt.  The physical manifestation of immense sorrow actually can mimic the symptoms of heart disease.  It's not something we imagine, it's real.  In time we find that our hearts still hold our Bridge Kids.  They remain snuggled there as long as we live.  In time, our hearts grow to make room for another who needs our love.

You and Angel Hunners are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley




In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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