Ripmax
My beloved baby max got ran over on 9/4/2018 we have had him since he was a puppy in 2012 from Virginia to Texas, in the morning I took my other dog lulu to walk and when I came back I opened the door and max ran outside I was going to bring him back In he always loves to follow me whether I’m just going to use the bathroom or just to go in the living room he never leaves my side and stays near me we had an incredible bond, but my mother told me to let him use the restroom and I said ok and went to take a shower and took care of some stuff, I had totally forgotten max was outisde for about an hour and when I go back outside all I see is my siblings huddled up crying and screaming over something on the road then I realized someone ran over my poor baby max and it hadn’t been that long ago that they ran him over because he wasnt stiff yet I fell to my knees it felt like my heart was just stabbed repeatedly, my mom checked the camera and at 2:22pm he was at the door sitting waiting for someone to open he’s a shih tzu and we have a gate with bars and he can always squeeze through the bars but he usually doesn’t and just waits and we see him in the camera wander off but not come back in the gate bars the side of the road he got hit on was too far away for the camera to catch it so we don’t even know who ran him over, we have let him outside before I sat crying for 4 hours straight while holding his body and I kept blaming myself what if I had just opened the door or called your name I instantly regretted not grabbing him and bringing him back in, only If i had been 10 minutes earlier or if I would’ve just stayed with you till you finished, our road in front of us is undergoing construction and that day it rained so none of the construction workers were out I know they would’ve told us if he had gotten out and I always see cars speeding down our road and I keep asking good why everything played out in favor to his death, my heart yearns just to hear his little paws hitting the ground while he follows me around or runs up to me or seeing him instantly poke his head up when he realizes I’ve woken up to see him getting all excited wagging his tail, he was the only one we kept inside because he’s little and everything just feels so silent and then I just burst into tears because I keep realizing that he’s truly gone, I went to work yesterday and I’ve been breaking down crying everywhere when I walked in back from work all I wanted was to hear his barking, every time I look to the side I keep wishing he was just there laying down next to me looking up into my eyes or just giving him my food off my plate I can never stop crying I deal with bad depression and this situation makes me want to harm myself a lot of the time something so precious was yanked away from me, I don’t know why someone would run over my best friend he meant the world to me he was my furry Little Rock I just want to end everything my pain my suffering everything.
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Tankie12
Kenya I’m so sorry this is a tragic loss of your best friend and I can tell how intense your pain is. I know you live at home and I really wish you would talk to your Mom about how depressed you are. Max would be very sad if he thought you hurt yourself because of him. He would never be mad at you or feel like you’d done anything wrong, never. It was a horrible accident.
If you don’t feel like you have anyone to take to I want you to know you’re not alone, you can come here and write as often as you want to. You’re not alone
Losing our babies is one of the worst pains ever. We just want them back so bad. Everywhere you look you see places they should be, places they would be. Everyone here understands what you’re feeling, we have all lost our babies and our hearts are broken but we try to help each other through this, well help you too,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Ripmax
Thanks you so much for replying it means a lot, I just don’t like talking to someone about it because when I start talking my voice cuts out and I start crying hysterically I can’t stand this pain, I go through depression and I had just pushed myself out of it then this happens and it feels as if the world is slowly taking things away that make me happy just as soon as I was doing much better I don’t understand, I’ve cried to max I would always even talk to him because I’ve self harmed he was one of the reasons I stopped I live with my other siblings but me and him were inseparable everyone has accepted it but I’m so stuck on it and I’ve been crying these past few days I feel like he was taken too early and no one had the right to take his life so cruel by running him over and not even letting us know that they killed someone who meant the world to us our own family I keep blaming myself with what ifs or I could’ve done this differently, how do you cope with the loss of your beloved friend?
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MAlcindor
Kenya let me start of by giving you my deepest condolences. I am so sorry about the tragic manner in which your baby died. The pain is terrible and I know you feel like the guilt is going to swallow you up. I lost my Bailey to a dog attack and I know the guilt that comes with thinking that it is all your fault. But there is nothing I can tell you right now to make you feel better. Losing them is like losing a child and the pain is overwhelming sometimes. You are going to cry, scream, be angry, but all this is normal. Posting here has helped me very much, everyone here understands the pain. I am so sorry.
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Ripmax
Thanks so much for replying im so sorry for what happen to bailey that sounds like a scary situation, I’m trying to find ways to cope I just miss him so much he was a part of my everyday life and not seeing him right next to me puts me to tears automatically, I just wish that I could redo that day all over again to still have my baby here with me
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Tankie12
Man Kenya if we could all see the future we’d have done so many things differently. The woman who responded to you, Marlen, has a wonderful quote that really speaks to this. My iPad won’t let me copy and paste but if you go under her title MAlcindor you can read it. Just tap on her name above your comment to her and that will take you to her page. When you’re there look to the bottom right and where it says All topics started by MAlcindor tap on it and when it’s up tap on last page and it will be on there. I don’t know why a 60 year old is explaining this to you, quite sure it comes naturally, not for me though🤪lol,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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MAlcindor
Kenya, this is the quote Lynn was referring to:

If I had known that on that day our time was near the end 
I would have done things differently, my forever friend. 
I would have stayed right next to you deep into the night 
but I thought I’d see you in the early morning light. 
And so I said “Good night” to you as I walked in through the door 
never thinking of the time when I’d see you no more. 
But if I had known that on that day our time was at the end 
I would have done things so differently, my forever friend.
                                                                            Sally Evans

We cannot see into the future, we are only human.
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Tankie12
Thank you Marlen, ❣️,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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