stvjjg
My family is in so much pain. Our sweet golden retriever Baille passed away July 16. She stopped having an appetite a couple of weeks ago and was having a harder time getting up so we took her to the vet. They thought it was arthritis and did X-rays that showed mild arthritis in all four legs. She started taking pain meds and we thought they were helping because one day she would be her playful self with a great appetite and then the next day she would go back to being lethargic and not eating. We took her back to the vet and had more blood tests done. They said her white blood cell count was a little high but everything else looked good. We started her on antibiotics and a stronger pain medicine. She truly looked like she was doing better so we decided to go on our vacation we had planned months before. We left her with the vet And left instructions that if she stopped eating again to call us and we would have someone pick her up and then come home early from vacation. They did call us and said she was doing fine but was going to give her liquid pain medicine. We came home and picked her up and she acted like she didn't recognize us. Came home and she just laid down and wouldn't get up. Her belly looked swollen and hard. Took her back to the vet and they did a sono and she had several large masses that had pushed her organs to the side and abdomen was full of blood. The vet thought her spleen had ruptured. She was 11 years old and the vet didn't think she would make it through surgery. We had to put her to sleep and we haven't stopped crying since. So much guilt that we were on vacation and she was alone. Guilt that we didn't know what was going on with her. My teen daughter had her since she five and her grief is inconsolable. I don't know if we will ever get through this. We loved her so much!
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LauraandBob42516
I am so sorry to hear about Baille and your terrible loss. One thing that I have learned here on this site is that we all go through grief at losing our precious little ones. One of those aspects of grief is quilt. I went through the guilt of why didn't I know more. "Was there something else I could have done." I kept playing those last days and moments over and over. Don't beat your self up over the quilt. You gave her a lot of love and she was part of your family. There was nothing more that you could have done. You did a very loving thing by ending her suffering. I am sure that she know how much you all loved her. One thing that we all share is that it takes time to go through the grief. Share the grief with the whole family. You can share here too. I am sorry that you are going through this sorrow. It will get better but it takes time. Many blessings to you.
LauraandBob
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RobertandJack
It is like a movie that you go over and over and the end is still the same.  It is not fun and is very painful.  I know ...I do the same thing with both of mine. Maybe someday I will find resolution.  Just not this day.  Sorry for your loss friend.

Robert and Jacks Mom
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stvjjg
Thank you for your kind words.They really do help. I know we did the right thing because we didn't want her to suffer but it's so heart wrenching to say goodbye.
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kpeterson
I'm so sorry to hear about your Baille. That was always my worst fear that our Spike would die while we were out of town. I'm very sorry for your loss but glad that you were able to be with her before she was gone. I'm sure even if she didn't seem to recognize you she knew in her heart that you were with her. Give yourself time to grieve -- unfortunately it will probably be a long process. We had to have our Spike put to sleep about 10 weeks ago; we had just celebrated his 17th birthday a month before that. It's been rough and I'm still sleeping with one of his blankies. Sometimes I can say his name without crying and other times I cry till my nose is completely congested just thinking about him.

Be gentle with yourself and your family and don't pay attention to friends who tell you should be over it already. You've lost a family member and deserve to grieve in whatever way makes sense to you and for however long it takes.

Hugs, Kathy (Spike's Mom)
Spike' s Mom
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