LauraH
Our precious angel, Razor, joined many other angels at Rainbow Bridge on 11/21/15 at 2:22 p.m.  Razor would have been 13 years old in December and he was part of our family since he was 5 months old.  There was another family ahead of us waiting to adopt him, for some unknown reason, that fell through and we were ecstatic when we found out he was ours.  He was meant for us, plus my husband finally had a boy in the house (there's 4 girls right now, including a furry daughter).

Razor left us suddenly.  Friday he woke up sick, we took him to the vet and he tested positive for pancreatitis.  The vet put him on antibiotics and liquids, when we left the clinic his fever had dropped from 104 to 101.  His doctor told us any response to treatment would happen within 24 hours.  Saturday morning, he would not even lift his head anymore.  We took him back in and his fever was now at 106 and he was developing pneumonia, the infection was too much for him.  We had to make the hardest decision we have ever made in our entire lives and we decided that we loved him way too much to see him suffer for one more minute.  We all hugged him, told him we were so sorry, that we loved him and we caressed him until he took his last breath.  
We go from feeling comforted by the fact that he is now at rest and no longer in pain, to feeling guilty.  Why didn't we find this infection sooner, did we try hard enough, is he mad at us, did he know how much we loved him, how much it hurt us to have to do that?  Could we have spent more time with him, walked him more, hugged him more, taken more pictures, spoiled him more?  Are we weird because we are in mourning and feeling as though we have lost a son, a best friend, a brother? Why did this happened so suddenly? 

I had never heard of Rainbow Bridge.  I got a brochure for the cremation services but I stuffed it in my purse as I was too upset to look at it.  The night he passed away my daughter told me she didn't know what to believe, she didn't know if he was happy somewhere, would she ever see him again.   We talked for a bit and she went to bed.  I then looked at the brochure and the Rainbow Bridge poem was on there.  I decided I would tell her about it the next morning. The next morning I said to her, "I was reading about a rainbow bridge where everyone's pets go and they're happy and waiting for their loved ones"  My daughter interrupts me with tears in her eyes and says, "Mom, are you serious right now?  I had a dream about a rainbow bridge.  I did not see Razor, all I could see was a rainbow bridge"  We were amazed since she had never heard of Rainbow Bridge prior to this conversation.

Though our grief has not lessened, we find comfort in her dream.  We take it as a sign that there is such a place and our furry sons and daughters keep each other company and wait to be reunited with us.  

We will forever love and miss Razor.  He left a huge void in our lives and hearts, but we look forward to the day when we will see, hear and touch that sweet, sweet boy again.  

I'm sorry this was so long and thank you to anyone that takes their time to read this.  I hope somebody finds comfort knowing we are going through the same thing and we understand your pain.  

-Laura
Laura Henderson
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Lavendar
healing vibes to you,
thank you for sharing.  You must have taken excellent care of him. 13 is a long time for not a small dog.  Pancreatitis is an old age disease and can be painful so a quick exit was best.   There is no escaping the guilt, shoulda done that, shoudn't have dont that.  They give us so much and expect nothing in return, so we want their lives (and death) to be perfect.  Remember to give all memories a place in your grieving not just the last few hours. 
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Apollo_the_great
I'm so sorry for your loss.
William
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LauraH
Thank you so much for your words.  You are so right, I need to look at the whole 13 years and not just those last few hours.  

Lavendar wrote:
healing vibes to you,
thank you for sharing.  You must have taken excellent care of him. 13 is a long time for not a small dog.  Pancreatitis is an old age disease and can be painful so a quick exit was best.   There is no escaping the guilt, shoulda done that, shoudn't have dont that.  They give us so much and expect nothing in return, so we want their lives (and death) to be perfect.  Remember to give all memories a place in your grieving not just the last few hours. 
Laura Henderson
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LauraH
Thank you very much!

Apollo_the_great wrote:
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Laura Henderson
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