Jakes_mum
I had to say goodbye to Jake on July 5, after nearly a year of terrible epilepsy. I was doing ok - relatively - talking to my therapist and friends, trying to take care of myself etc.
and yet this week has been so hard. I’ve been sleeping with one of toys, and I wake up clutching it with wet eyes. I look at pic of him and just long to touch him and play with him. He was such a good boy.
He died a few weeks shy of his twelfth birthday, and he and I were together for almost all of those 12 years. That’s almost all of the time I’ve been living in this country ( not where I grew up).
Today it’s just got me, over and over. I’m still having to remind myself that everything is different now: no driver to go for walks, or feed him, or snuggle when either of us are feeling down. I can’t kiss the top of his head and feel soothed, or have him lick my chin until I say ‘yuck’ (although I secretly enjoyed it).
He was the sweetest pup - loved by all who met him.
But now it just feels so unreal that he’s not here, begging for crumbs (now I have to clean them up myself) or telling off the birds in the neighborhood, or just looking into my eyes before curling up for a nap.
I don’t think my heart will ever be whole again.
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Dai
Oh Jakesmum, grief as I know has no expiration date. I’m so sorry for your loss of fur baby Jake. Sounds like he was the bestest companion for you.. I’m only on week three today and still grieving full force. I wish you comfort and here’s a HUG.
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Dai
Oh Jakesmum, grief as I know has no expiration date. I’m so sorry for your loss of fur baby Jake. Sounds like he was the bestest companion for you.. I’m only on week three today and still grieving full force. I wish you comfort and here’s a HUG.
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Pagmem
Jake’s Mum -

I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. Be gentle with yourself day by day. Some days are harder than others. Bedtime is hardest for me. No more stepping around his bed, or waking in the night and looking down and feeling comforted by his lying by my side of the bed. I talk to him all the time and sometimes I feel like he’s here. Sending you hugs and healing thoughts.

Melissa
Melissa
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Zeke1_
Hi Jakes Mum - Today is the three month mark for me with my beloved Zeke. I still shed tears every single day. Some not too bad and other days I have no idea why I can't stop or what is different that sets me off. My wife and I did get a "new" rescue dog because we could not stand the silence and empty house. Ar first it did not help except to distract us with having to provide care and play with him. It has finally gotten to the point I now see myself opening my heart to t Bravo and know I will only come to love him dearly. I also know he will never replace my dear Zeke and the memories and yes the pain are what I have left. I still miss him dearly and with a broken heart still and probably forever. 

I understand, as we all do at this site, your grief and I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Jake. It does get better but does not seem to ever go away. Embrace your memories of Jake and the pain they may bring now. I am hopeful someday, the memories will bring smiles and not crying, but I don't believe we will ever stop grieving to some extent. It is true that you need to be kind to yourself and know you are not alone.

Zeke's Dad - ....and now Bravo's too
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