Sunday my dog Sunny was fine. Monday she went into shock and after the vet and emergency room vet, I found out she has cancer of her spleen and liver with internal bleeding. She is 12, a rescue who has been a member of our family for 9 years, my kids have grown up with her. The sweetest happiest friendliest dog I've ever had. Whoever named her chose the right name. I'm angry that innocents should suffer like this.

I've had two other rescues that I had to put to sleep when they could not walk anymore, one with spinal degeneration and one with heart failure. There was no choice when you saw them stop eating and suffer like that. Now Sunny has had a bit of a rebound the past few days, but both vets say she is beyond hope, and she could just bleed out again and that will be it. I don't want her suffering. As I sit here and watch her, I see her with eyes almost closed, but not asleep. Every now and then she begins to pant and I think she's in pain. Then she'll give me a little wag when I go to her, and I want to believe she's getting better but I know she isn't. I've even gotten Chinese herbs the vet says can stop internal bleeding from cancer, but she's only had two doses and I don't know if it will really help.

The choice of letting her suffer or letting her go is so damn hard. Her breathing is labored now and I know what o have to do for her, I'm just having trouble doing it. I can't stand the thought of losing another one, it took me years to get over Max when he died. How do people rescue and lose so many without falling apart?
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Hi Lakelady, I am so sorry for what you are going through! First may I say how much I admire you for rescuing these dogs and giving them a wonderful home and so much love?!
It sounds like you have made your decision and with Sunny's laboured breathing it might be good to try and take her while you can spare her some suffering but that is just a suggestion. I know just how hard that awful decision is as I had to make it twice myself. So painful and downright heartbreaking! I guess it's the price we ultimately pay for the pleasure of having these beautiful souls in our lives but it is a heavy price. Still, I know I wouldn't change it as I'm sure you wouldn't even though your heart is so broken now. I wish there was something else that I could say to make you feel better but please know I will be thinking of you and please come back and post when you feel up to it!
Hugs and prayers to you,
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Well, I guess Sunny isn't ready to give up just yet. This morning she woke up pert and happy, more than she has been all week, but not quite the level of liveliness she had before. Maybe it was the little chat I had with her last night through my tears lol. Maybe the Chinese herbs are working, I'm not sure. Her appetite is good again. I know this is temporary and that her days are numbered, but I'll take what I can for today with her. Yesterday I just couldn't stop crying and was also worried about what to do with the long holiday weekend should something happen and the vet is closed. But she's not ready today that's for sure. Happy to have some extra time with her!

Thanks for the kind words... Animal lovers are the only ones who can understand
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Thoughts are with you at this time x its so so hard ano what u are going through , am waiting for my boys time to come too and its ripping my hart out x you wish they would just sleep away x praying for your baby x
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I am sending prayers and good wishes and thoughts your way for Sunny. I just had to let go of my Satin Marie puppy girl June 1, 2017 to Mast Cell tumors. She endured 16 radiation treatments and a number of vinblastine chemo sessions. She got better, the tumor shrank, she was eating, moving, drinking. The prednisone they gave her in December 2016 caused her to be thirsty a lot so I had to always slow her down on her drinking. I have been off work since October 2016 due to a knee replacement, so I am THANKFUL to have been able to be here with her the whole time. Satin Marie was 11 yrs, 3 mos and we had her for 11 years, a dumped puppy in our yard (people suck by the way). Our three boys are also all rescues and they are suffering her absence as well.

The chemo and radiation started in February 2017, the 5th to be exact. We had to clear up an infection that had developed on the surface of the tumor before December so we lost a few months almost before we started the treatment. I now beat myself up over should we have started sooner but it was never an option with the infection. I do wish her regular vet had told me about the place I did end up taking her to, a specialty clinic run by the University of Missouri in Wentzvile, MO where she received EXCELLENT care and attention. The radiation was completed in about March and we continued the chemo until May 8, 2017 but she didn't get that final dose due to her being sick, anemic, elevated liver enzymes, and a small heart murmur. It just kept getting worse but with more meds, she got better, was still eating. By the 22nd of May, things turned worse and Monday, Memorial Day May 29, 2017 she had a fall on our basement steps. I found her and have no idea how long she had been laying there on a rug in front of our washer/dryer but my wife helped me get her upstairs. I knew she was not only in pain from the fall but she was so bloated. I now think something ruptured or perforated and she was getting sepsis. By Wednesday May 31, 2017 after a day at the puppy spa and some cheeseburgers, which she unfortunately threw up later when it was decided to take her to the emergency animal hospital near our house, my wife and I finally knew it was time. We already had an appointment for June 1, 2017 (Friday) for her vet to look at her as I wanted to make certain there was nothing more to be done, even though that action should have been done by ME the week before when I noticed her showing signs all was not right. 

I will forever beat myself up over that and even though I know deep down inside the outcome most likely would have been the same, I still can't help but blame ME for her continued pain and suffering. Finding this forum was the BEST thing that could happen to me at this time as I need to let this pain and sorrow out of my already heartbroken body as I have watched her slowly slip away since February 2017. I wish there were a pill or shot to take this pain away permanently. I have three boys left and will have to endure this three more times and it sucks just thinking about it. 

I cannot express my joy for you Lakelady and pray for many more years to come with your child and friend. Sunny. Such a gorgeous furbaby! Here is my Satin Marie at the Puppy Spa, her first and unfortunately final visit:

Satin day spa.jpg
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that you’re to go through this experience. I’m on the last day of the same thing. I walked into my living room October 25th to find Lucy on her dog bed surrounded by her vomit unable to move but alive. Emergency vet, emergency surgery, removing her spleen and biopsying her liver. 5 days later confirmation it was cancer. We are on day 93 post diagnosis and day 98 post surgery. She was given 1-3 months to live after surgery. What they don’t tell you or didn’t tell me is that these masses are going to continue to grow and they’re going to continue to rupture. Lucy has bounced back from quite a few of them. But now it’s in her lungs. She’s a pit bull and I have to carry her everywhere. She is too weak to walk more then maybe a couple steps every few hours, I even made her a wheelchair. It’s a rough road and the changes happen so fast. I don’t know what advice to give you beyond just my experience because I’m sitting here crying struggling to get out the door to the vet to put here down right now. I can’t make my body move. I wish you and your family the best. Your in my thoughts and heart.
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