Gosh, Honey, I’ve missed you. We’re coming up on two years to the day since I lost you, little Love Bucket! It’s hard to fathom.
I fell and hurt my ankle a few days ago. Feb 3. Just like a few days before you went to heaven I fell and broke my collarbone. At least I didn’t break something this week. But the physical pain I'm in reminds me of how awful that whole time was while you were getting worse and I could barely move to help and take care of you. And you were with me outside when I fell on 1/29/18.
As awful as it is, my main way of avoiding some pain is to not think of you. I try not to, because when I do, I launch into such sadness immediately. And I know I need to not plunge into that deep lake of sadness, and stay there, if I can avoid it. I need to not drown in it.
I want to remind you that you’re the most beautiful little girl dog anyone could ever want and the very most loving. I could never have asked for a better companion or a more precious pet than you. You had my heart in yours. Marissa, I love you so, so, so, so much. I miss having all of the love wrapped in a sweet package of you, right in my home. You were my very own. And I miss you like nothing else I could describe.
I wish I could come up and walk the hills and valleys of heaven with you, Bearish. I wish we could walk and walk and that I could sit down and stroke and stroke your soft, smooth fur. I want to look into your eyes and see that love again. How I long to do that. I want to rub your ears and touch your toes and watch your flounce your floofy tail. I miss you!!!
Life does go on, but it’s not the same. Not anywhere close to the same.
I thank God that He let you still be here when I had heart surgery and you were the only one with me while I recovered. I’m so grateful. There are so many hardships in life and I miss all the softness of you. Your sweet disposition, your warm affection, your joy.
I hold so tight to the hope of our reunion when my time comes to leave the earth. I imagine in my heart how it might be to come to the gate and for you to be waiting there for me. Or for me to arrive and for you to come bounding over a hill to me. The joy that would fill my heart to see you again would be overwhelming. I miss you terribly, my little love, and I long for the day!
Your Mom Catie
Tomorrow is the two-year anniversary. I've still wanted to share a couple stories here but I still get wrecked writing on our thread at all. Hopefully, some day. I need to make the rounds and touch base with several Rainbow Bridge friends who are on their own journeys. I left a few messages a week or two ago, but I didn't make it to everybody.
I hope everyone is healing and is keeping on as best as possible. It's been a very hard last few months on my end. Feel like life has kicked my butt. Hoping though that things may turn a corner soon. The new year is still young.
Warmest thoughts and hugs to all!