Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 28 of 31     «   Prev   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   Next
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #406 
Oh Catie,
 
I just read your post which I oversaw last night (you were a nano second ahead of me, lol). And after I read it, I was lost of words and could not have said anything that would have made any sense and with so much water in my eyes I could not see anything anyways.
 
One could ask “why around Christmas?” such loving and beautiful souls like you are hit so hard, during a time where the beloved ones would gather around us in joy. It is not fair, Catie, it just is not fair. The year has been tough I guess – the first year as we walk about without the only ones who might have truly loved us without any doupt – and yes, it is extremely hard – especially now this month of December when we both learnt of something we never wanted to know. Yet we are here, dearest friend, and together we will walk a little further with each and every day.
 
The letters you write to sweet Marissa are truly beautiful and make me cry each time. Your love and longing can be felt by anyone who is reading your words. You express almost exactly  how I feel about Max – it is just that I cannot put it in words like you can – so brave you are. I am deeply moved, Catie, and my heart goes out to you.
 
This time of year is especially difficult and I am so sorry that so many negative things have happened to you during a time of year where only joy is supposed to surround us. I imagine how much Marissa’s unconditional love and the joy she shared with you have brought you through many heartships. I hope and pray that the memory of her, the joy and laughter you shared with her will keep you strong because this kind of love will never die, dear friend.
 
I send many hugs and my newly invented “Catie-Winter-Tissues” (with tiny snow flakes on them))
 

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Rookiesmama

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 610
Reply with quote  #407 
Catie,
Your letter to sweet Marissa is just beautiful. Your mention of companionship and comfort is just spot on. They can make any bad day better by just looking at us, and it's so unfair they leave so soon and we have to struggle through. When you wrote about digging in the bed it made me smile because my Rookie would do that. Digging, turning, digging.... until he made it just so. Sending you and Marissa some hugs.
0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #408 
Sweet Catie,

Thank you for your beautiful post on my thread. I wish to say that it was no prob to clean up Max (remember, he loved water, lol) because we had so much fun doing this, I loved to wrap him in soft big towels and rub him dry - he would mostly fall asleep then and I sang to him.

I hope that your Christmas season is going well and you found some inner peace with good memories of sweet Marissa, the way you both would laugh and play and do silly things together. I believe it is necessary to recall sweet memories in a difficult time like this. It helps.

Big fat hugs

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,070
Reply with quote  #409 
Hi Catie
I’m hoping things are okay. I know how stressful everything is right now in soo many ways. Please take care of yourself, eat, sleep as much as possible and breathe ❣️ Miss you, big hugs,,,,,

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
ForMitookie_03

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 224
Reply with quote  #410 
Hi Catie,

Like my note to Silvia, I just wanted to say that I couldn't let the day go by without wishing the Merriest Christmas and safe and blessed Holidays.  Again, I apologize for not returning to the forum as much as I would like.  This Christmas is particularly hard for me without Mitookie, as I'm sure it is for you.  If only we had known it would be our last, last year.  I will check in on you again soon but please have a Merry Christmas and do whatever soothes your heart.  You are a very special friend.

Love and hugs,

Marina

__________________
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
0
AZTiger98

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 209
Reply with quote  #411 
Hi Catie,

Just wanted to drop by and wish you a peaceful Christmas season. I'm sorry it's so rough for you in so many ways, but especially with it being the first without Marissa. I hope you are able to find some things to smile about this Christmas and that the grief of your loss is lessened.

I'll try to check in again soon.

David

__________________
David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,070
Reply with quote  #412 
Catie, I see you making the rounds with your gentle and encouraging words and I’m just hoping for your little piece of comfort today. It’s a rough day for all of us and you are going through the added concerns for your Fathers well being. That alone can take a toll. Please be good to you. Wishing your day was as good as can be, you’re in my thoughts and prayers,,,,,
__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
Sil

Registered:
Posts: 543
Reply with quote  #413 
Catie,

Thank you for taking the time to visit my beloved Sol's thread and leaving such comforting words.  You always manage to find just the right words filled with comfort and empathy for everyone here.  My wish is, for you to have peace and comfort.  So, take extra care of yourself.
0
MissingScooty

Registered:
Posts: 352
Reply with quote  #414 
Hi Catie....sorry I am a day late in checking in for Christmas wishes. I do hope you were able to feel some peace and something to smile about yesterday. I just realized the first Christmas was kinda lousy for Mary and Joseph too. Still, that doesn't make our pain any less.
I send you warm hugs and comfort and prayers.

Love,
Melissa

__________________
Missing and loving Scooter Forever
- Melissa
0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #415 
Sweet Catie,

Thank you for your good Christmas wishes on Max's thread - I hope Christmas treated you well and the days were peaceful with good memories. I tried to have a good Christmas which it was, quiet and peaceful with films about crazy Max when he was young - such lovely memories, of course this did not work without shedding many tears.

Now the year will be gone very soon - tomorrow we will go out and buy firecrackers to greet the new year accordingly.

I send many hugs and good wishes


__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
ForMitookie_03

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 224
Reply with quote  #416 
Hi Catie,

I couldn't leave the forum today without checking in and wishing you a very Happy New Year.  Unfortunately it's up to us to put the "Happy" in the new year.  I'm back at work, so, so far, it isn't working out so well.  Started the year with major HOA drama that isn't even worth going into.  Oh how I wish I had my Mitookie to hug and kiss.  Moses is with me always and I love him dearly, but he is definitely not the cuddle bug Mitookie was.  He has his own beautiful attributes.  Much different than Mitookie's, but beautiful none the less. 

I hope this new year brings you better days, better health, and much comfort.  It's coming up on a year for you and I and our babies angelversaries.  We will survive. 

Starting Monday, I'm on a diet again.  I must get this holiday weight under control.  Right now it is definitely controlling me.  I'm trying to stay positive about life right now.  Thanks for helping me along by just being there to reach out to. 

Many hugs and love and comforts for you today and always!

Marina

__________________
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #417 
Sweet Catie,

I hope you had a good start into the new year and I also wish that 2019 will treat you gentle. I think Marina is very right in saying that it is up to us to put the "Happy" into it. I will try my best and I know so are you.

Big fat hugs

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
catiebee

Registered:
Posts: 1,148
Reply with quote  #418 
Thank you all so, so much. All of the warmth and understanding, the kindest of words, your hugs and prayers, and your heartfelt companionship on this journey mean more than I can say. You all have loved me oh-so-well in this space and I appreciate you guys immensely. From the depths of my heart, thank you for being here and sharing your precious hearts. 

My dad completed his stint at rehab and was released home New Year's Eve. However, he still requires much care and his weeks in rehab were an overwhelming and stressful time for me, as I tried to prepare his home, buy various mobility and toileting aids and such and to line out the assistance he would need. He is suffering no illness, but he became frail from too little movement. He worked hard the last few weeks in PT but has a long way to go. He needs a great deal of help and someone is now with him every waking hour.

My plate's been very full, so that emotionally, I didn't have the capacity to return to my thread. I also needed to move the grief aside to the degree that I could, since I needed to be "on" so much of the time to deal with staff at the rehab and to research about caregiving and other home services and tend to all dad's affairs for a few weeks. 

Christmas was an exceptionally and strangely bad day, just the pits. I can be grateful it has passed and there is no question at all that the next one should be better.

It was the 11-month mark for Marissa a couple of days ago. I want to write her another letter and allow my heart to speak for a bit and to mourn her.

Again, such a whole hearted thank you to you all!



Dearest little bitty baby Marissa, 

I've not been able to let my heart really turn to you for several weeks. It was important to hold it together, if I could, and for the most part I did. Not that there's really anything commendable about that. 

Last December (2017) I was in the throes of grief, having learned you were ill. I cried enough that month to fill buckets and barrels. It felt like the pain would do me in.

Marissa, as long as it has been, on some level it still seems completely impossible that you are gone and that you died. Yet some images are engraved upon my soul. Holding you afterward, sitting on the sofa, stroking you again and again. The whole length of you and all your softness. You were my friend, my best little friend in the whole world.  I felt so lost without you. And Widgety, I still do. 

I miss you eating. You were such an energetic little eater and delighted in your meals. I want to feed you tonight and watch your excitement. I want to hear you crunch and watch your little tongue seek out the last morsels in and under your bowl. I loved that for a little girl, you had a great big mouth that opened so wide. You gave strong kisses, when you would lurp my face. You especially loved eyes. You loved to reach up and lick my eyes. I would give anything for one of your surprise bonks. You'd get a quirky look in your eyes, then there would be a very quick collision of your nose to mine. Years and years ago I read that some Tibbies do that and then I was gifted with one who did. You didn't do it very often, but you always made me laugh. I loved your bonks. Marissa, I miss you so much! Everything about you. I could have studied your nose for hours. I loved its shape. I loved your tiny teeth. I loved watching you chew so heartily on your treats. I loved our game of having you wait in the kitchen and hiding your dental chew, then seeing you sniff and race all over the living and dining rooms till you gleefully found it and ate it. My, how you loved that dental chew!

I miss the fuzzier part of you, your floofy tail and how it felt different than all the rest of your fur. You didn't like me to brush it because it would tangle. I tried to be careful, but sometimes it pulled. I'm sorry, little love. You were so very beautiful. I miss the softness of your tummy when I would rub it. Really the only place on your body that I could contact skin, except your toe pads. You had a pretty, little tummy and you enjoyed getting tummy loves. After you were gone, I stared and stared at your feet, trying to memorize them. When I first got you, the breeder told me you would lose your white "socks" on your two front feet. But you never did. You kept them till the end. I loved the super long ear fronds you had when I got you. Over the years they tapered off. But my, those wee strands of black hair were extra cute. I loved the way your ear fur would get wavy in the rain or humidity. I loved your little, black lips. You were just a very adorable you!

I wish you were behind me right now on the blue cushion we kept in the computer room. It was comforting to me to have you there, just a glance away. Oh little Hooligan, how I miss you! I miss your stubbornly staying in rooms where I needed to close the door and me needing to say, "Come on out of there" three or four times till you would follow me. I miss hearing a whimper and running to find you and let you out of rooms when I accidentally closed you in. I miss the warmth of your little body, I miss how much you loved to go outside or go anywhere in the car. You were so funny being content on the freeway, then whining once we'd get on regular roads. You wanted to get there! Wherever we were going.

I miss clicking your purple leash on you and I miss seeing your tail bobbing happily in front of me on walks. I miss your pre-pee patting of the ground and your post-poop dance where I'd have to get out of the way. 

You loved to snatch and munch gobs of fresh mowed grass. I usually took them out of your mouth, but you thought that was a delicacy. When we had the house, you loved to follow along while I mowed and you loved to sail over the low stone divider.  I miss, I miss, I miss, I miss you!

You were such a good girl, so full of joy and delight. My heart just loved you to bits. 

The first day I met you, too young to take home, you were sleek and charcoal gray. You climbed up on my thigh, teeny as you were and you wagged. You won me with that special sideways wiggle of your tail. How I wish we could start it all again. I'd bring you home and snuggle you and we would play and play. That's something I would do different. Stop and play a whole lot more. Quite a few things I would do differently. I wish you were my very own brand new puppy again. I wish we could have that time all over. 

There is an ache that never leaves my heart and it is for you. There is still disbelief and an insistence that you should be right here where you belong. I'm not the same as before. This enormous piece of my heart belongs to a little, very furry girl who is in heaven.  That girl is you. 

Marissa, I love you so much there aren't words to express it. Only tears say it right. My heart hurts very much because you are gone. 

Your mom, Catie















__________________
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
0
Lrogers424

Registered:
Posts: 125
Reply with quote  #419 
Oh Catie,

It sounds like you have been through the emotional wringer with your Dad.  Your sweet Marissa was crucial to your emotional support and not having her with you during this time must be so hard for you.  She is imprinted on your very soul, as you were to hers.  Sometimes I think we all wish we could turn back the clock, savor those moments that now feel so fleeting.  There are times when I wish I knew how ill Daisy was as we only found out just days before her death.  I was so busy in the months and weeks preceding with college applications, 2 graduations, my parents visiting, my work, everyday life...I took for granted that she would always be there, my friend and my baby.  I had no idea and it breaks my heart.  I did not even have time to take her on one last kayak ride and watch her nose twitch with the scents of the lake.  Your letter to Marissa made me stop and look down at Luna asleep in her basket next to my desk as I work.  I'll stop more often and gaze at her at play, chasing her tail, annoying the cat, taking a walk and sweetly sleeping. 

I think those little souls that we have the honor to have in our lives are there to tell us to enjoy little moments and slow down.  I hope each day you are able to have even a few moments of peace.  I know the days leading up to the 1 year mark will be difficult, but we are all here for you.

__________________
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #420 
Dearest Catie,
 
What a lovely letter to sweet Marissa, I am sure she is very proud of you. And how much she came back to life as I read each and every line you wrote there. Such precious and happy moments – a life filled with pure joy. The two of you were present to me arising before my inner eye and I smiled ever so often reading through your letter of love. I even laughed out loud as I imagined the strong kisses she gave to you, lol.
 
I saw you in joy studying Marissa’s nose (something I myself did for hours on end with Max, lol) – and all in all I saw two very happy people enjoying one another's presense.
 
Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Catie, so beautifully written. Even tho I know how much you miss her, now it is joy to open your “room” and have very sweet Marissa greeting me, as it is you who underlined her very lovely personality here with your letter.
 
Many, many hugs to you, my dear friend

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.