Catie, I can so relate and totally understand what you mean about the pre-grieving. Since I found out Ava had cancer a month ago I have done nothing but cry, I cry over every little thing and it's not just about Ava like you said it's like every bit of hurt, pain, regret that I have experienced in the last few years has been unleashed and is just crashing out.
Quote: the extreme anxiety and pain were soooooo hard to bear up under. If there is a "good" aspect to all this, it is that I'm no longer trying to survive that torturous anxiety, because it's over. She's gone and I'm no longer questioning when? and if? and I'm no longer having to make decisions about her care.
This is exactly what I am experiencing, I have been having extreme anxiety like I have never experienced before. I think grief is a strange process and anticipatory grief is something I have never experienced before and is so so hard to deal with. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has experienced this because I do feel like I'm going out of my mind. Thank you for sharing your experience.
'It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.' Anon