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Snowflaker
Hello, Turd Burglar-
Do you remember the one time I forced you swimming? I’m sorry if scared or traumatized you. I’m sure if it was warmer out you might’ve enjoyed it more. I was young and wasn’t thinking. I just thought you should try it and it was adorable to see you swim. You so desperately did not want to be in the pool. You kept swimming towards me. I wish I had a video. I wish I had more in general. I bought you a swimming vest a couple years ago. I don’t remember if I told you yet or not. I wish I could’ve tried taking you swimming once more. Maybe in an indoor pool so you wouldn’t get too cold. I feel like what I have isn’t enough. Definitely not 15 years worth. I wish time didn’t fly so fast while we were together. I wish it was the day I got you. I wish I could’ve cherished every moment more. I wish I would’ve showed you more love. I know I loved you as much as possible, but I feel as though I didn’t show it enough. I can’t remember. I hope I did. I hope you were as happy as you seemed. I know I made you happy. We all did. You were the happiest girl in the world. I don’t understand what I ever did to deserve you. I know you definitely didn’t deserve what happened to you.
I love you to heaven and back. Goodnight and sweet dreams, Babygirl.
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Snowflaker
Good afternoon, Babygirl-
I’m sorry it’s so late. I had trouble falling asleep last night, and I woke up late. I just want you here. That’s all I want. I wish you could come back somehow. You meant the world to me. I hope you know that. I love you more than anything else. I know you didn’t know what was going on, but I wish we could go back to the reveal. I knew Grammy was gonna have you involved. My sweet little princess. It was the best way to find out. You were so cute. I called you and once you got close to me you did that army crawl thing. I don’t know why you did it. It’s like you always did right before being picked up. You knew and you were preparing for it. You were so beautiful that day (every day). You had just gone to the groomers that morning. I hope you enjoyed the food you got. I think you had pizza and cake with us. I can’t remember for sure. I know you at least ate some cake. My beautiful big eyed girl.
I love and miss you so much.
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CK1991
Hi Snowflaker,
I hope Christmas was good! Your letters to Snowflake are filled with such love. I remember how hard it is to sleep when you’re grieving. You have so many sweet memories. It’s so sweet that you bought Snowflake a swimming vest and how you wanted to just let her eat whatever made her happy.
There are so many things we wish we could do over when our precious babies have to leave us but when you say how happy Snowflake seemed it tells me she had a good and happy life. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain and missing her so much! I remember those early days so well. Everything was so hard and so painful. It makes me sad to hear that Kali always looks so sad. She is grieving too. I hope are blue to reach out to her more. I don’t know but maybe she was more of a daddy’s girl because she sensed how strong your attachment to Snowflake was .. she may feel very alone now without Snowflake as it sounds like she loved her too. It would be so nice for you both if you could establish a more special bond with her now (even if it is one that was formed through a terrible loss for you both) .. especially before the new baby comes. I love the picture you’ve posted of Snowflake! What a beautiful precious little girl!
Thinking of you and your beautiful little Snowflake and wishing peace for your heart. Hugs!
CK
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Snowflaker
Hello, Sweetie-
2-3 more weeks until the baby is here. I wish you could’ve met her. We’re still trying to get settled in. We still have so much to do. It’s exhausting. It really sucks not having you here to cuddle at night. You never cuddled too long in bed. Eventually you’d try to find a big mountain of blankets to get comfy on or mine or daddy’s pillow. I loved waking up to you on my pillow. It always annoyed daddy because you would take up his whole pillow. You always curled up above my head or if you did take up my whole pillow I usually didn’t mind. I just loved having you close, and letting you do what was comfiest for you. I’m so thankful for the 15 years we shared together. I know it’s greedy and selfish, but I wish we could’ve had a few more. I found the dog beds I bought you awhile ago that you never really got to use. You were always with me for the most part. Either on the bed, couch, or chair. It wasn’t until recently you started napping in front of the heater. Of course they’re too small for Kali (not that I’d let her use them if they weren’t), and I don’t want to get rid of them. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of any of your stuff. The one day you had your one paw so high up in the air. Almost as high as your head. By the time I got my phone out, you had lowered it a considerable amount. I wish I could’ve gotten to my camera sooner. It was so cute. You were so cute.
I love and miss you Babygirl. Goodnight and sweet dreams Beautiful.
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Snowflaker
Good morning, Turd Burglar-
I was thinking of you like I usually do. I don’t know how I thought of it, but I remembered when you were so small we slept in a tent outside In the yard. I had a small tv and my PlayStation hooked up. Your goofy dumb young butt decided to chew the wire. I was so mad, but I was happy you didn’t get electrocuted. I don’t understand how not because you chewed the whole way through the cord. You never did anything like that again, so I wonder if you did get a little shock. I also remembered the day you stole my nugget. I had gotten Chick-fil-A and I saved a few nuggies for you and Angel. I was making you guys dance for them. I loved when you guys danced. Like usual, you guys would run into each other and use each other to stand on, so I would tell one of you guys to go away and wait a minute for your turn. Well, this day, you jumped next to me and I wasn’t looking. You stole the biggest nugget! Grammy noticed before me, thank God she was there and noticed. That stupid nugget was stuck in your throat. I thought I was going to lose you right then and there I was so scared. Grammy knew exactly what to do. I don’t remember exactly what she did, but she got that nugget out within seconds when I couldn’t. I was so happy you were okay. You don’t know how scared I was.
I love you Babygirl. Be good up there. I hope you are having the time of your life.
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Snowflaker
Hello, Babygirl-
I found a small stuffed animal that was given to me years ago. It looks like a Maltese. I left it on the bed frame. Bad idea. Kali thought it was a toy. She didn’t destroy it or anything. Daddy found it soaked on the floor. When I tried asking her what it was she was hesitant. Then, she finally tried to gently take it. I’m not sure if she looks at it as a miniature you or a toy. Because she could’ve easily destroyed it, but she didn’t. I was so mad, but I know she doesn’t know. It was sort of funny too. I love you Babygirl. I miss you being here. Especially with me being done with college and not working. I have so much free time. I hate it. I wish you could’ve stuck around a little longer. I couldn’t wait until I finished college to spend more time with you. Studying took up most of my time. It’s gonna be hard going back to school without my study buddy. You would sit next to me whenever I studied. Even when I pulled all nighters. I know I already told you, but finals were so hard without you. I didn’t do too bad. You would be so proud. I know you would be. I hate that I wanted to wait until I was showing more before getting professional pictures taken of us. I’m still not that big. I grew width wise. If I would’ve known, I would’ve got them done long ago. Plus, I thought we had more time. I wish I had more pictures of us together. I took pictures of us maybe on a handful of occasions. I wish we got some pictures taken on Thanksgiving. Everything’s been terrible without you here.
I love and miss you so much my beautiful little Snowflakers. Goodnight and sweet dreams, Beautiful.
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Snowflaker
Good morning, Snowflakers-
I woke up super early and let Kali out. When I got back in, I started to call her Snowflake, and realized what I had just said. Life without you will never be ‘normal’. I miss you so unbelievably much. I miss everything about you. I never imagined what life would be like without you. I wish I never had to find out. Why can’t dogs live as long as people? I found a poem that I wanted to share with you.
The moment that you died,
My heart was torn in two,
One side filled with heartache,
The other died with you.
I often lie awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep, and
Take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it everyday,
But missing you is heartache,
That never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain.
Until the joyous day arrives,
That we will meet again.
-unknown
I love and miss you more than anything Babygirl. Be good and take care up there.
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Snowflaker
Hello, Snowwy-
I ordered your urn a few hours ago. I can’t wait to show you when it comes in. I can’t wait to get your little space set up and show you. I’m not sure where we’ll be putting it, but it’ll be perfect. Just like you were. I hope you like it. I’m sure you will. I love and miss you so much. I know it might sound corny, but I can’t imagine starting a new year without you. I wish you were here. I wish what happened didn’t happen yet. Money was so tight. If I would’ve known things were that bad I would’ve rush you regardless. If I had more money to pay for an emergency vet, I would’ve. I just wish I knew. I had a gut feeling. But they said they’d do an X-ray and they could manage it with medications if it was fluid build up, which they seemed sure of on the phone. They made it seem like it could wait. I thought it could wait. I had no idea. I’m so sorry you had to suffer. I completely failed you. I wish I knew Babygirl. I would’ve never let that happen to you. I would’ve rushed you right away. I didn’t know. If I would’ve known, I would’ve paid any amount of money if it could’ve saved you. I hope you’re not mad or upset with me. I know you probably aren’t, which makes me feel so much worse. You were just that forgiving. I know you would be licking away my tears right now and telling me it’s okay. I’m sure of it.
I love and miss you so much my little Princess. Goodnight and sweet dreams, Beautiful.
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Snowflaker
Good morning, Babygirl-
I hope you got extra treats yesterday. I hope you get them today too. Everyday actually. And all the chocolate milk your little belly can hold. I used to always let you and Angel drink the milk when I was done eating my cereal. You guys were so cute. You guys didn’t always share nice, but you guys tried. Every time I ate cereal you guys got real close and happy because you knew. You knew you would get enough milk to fill your bellies which made you belch really loud. It was so funny how such a big burp could come from such a tiny dog. It snowed again last night, not much, but the roads were awful. I remember when we got really bad snow storms, you and Angel would go to the bathroom on the back porch right where there was a thin layer of snow. I thought it was funny and cute how you guys tried to avoid the snow like that.
I love and miss you so much, Babygirl.
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Snowflaker
Hello, Snowflakers-
I love and miss you more than you’ll ever know. The days fly without you here. I thought they would linger. It’s kind of nice to think that maybe we’ll be together in no time. I can’t wait to see you again. I wonder if you’ll be able to talk to me, and/or understand me. I really hope so. I hope you’re getting these letters. I hope you’re here with me. I hope you know how much I love you, how much you meant to me. I hope you know how truly sorry I am for everything I’ve ever done wrong. Everything I’ve ever done to upset you. I hope you think you had a great life, even compared to Heaven. That would make my world to know. I wish I could’ve been a better owner. I’m sorry for all the times I was mad when you chewed my clothes and messed in the house. I would do anything to have you chewing on my clothes again, and to be cleaning up your messes. I wish I could take back every time I yelled and smacked your butt. I tried to be understanding about certain things. Especially when you messed in the house. In recent years I usually told myself you couldn’t help it because how big your tumors were and they were adding extra pressure, but sometimes I forgot to remind myself of that. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t pick you up to sit with me. It was probably hard for you to jump up lately. You used to constantly jump back down. I’m sorry I would get so annoyed when you’d jump down time and time again right after I picked you back up. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope you know that. I wish I took better care of you.
Goodnight and sweet dreams, Babygirl.
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Snowflaker
Good morning, Sweet girl-
I hope you’re doing well up there. I hope you’re getting tons of delicious foods and drinks. I hope you’re getting all the pettings and love you deserve. I hope you won’t forget about me. I’ll never forget about you. I love you beyond words can describe. I miss you like crazy. I miss when you’d steal my milk. I miss waking up at 3am because you jumped off the bed. You would jump on my chair, then on my vanity, then on my bed. You were my little Acrobat. You would knock everything off my vanity in the process. That’s what would wake me up. You just had to be by my side all the time. I loved that about you. I loved everything about you, I still do. I wish you didn’t have to go so soon. I know we had 15 years together, but even 50 never would have felt like enough. I just hope and pray there’s an eternity for is. After we moved, you tried finding a new way on the bed. It didn’t quite work. We had tall shelves next to the bed. One day you decided to knock everything off the bottom shelf thinking you could somehow get up. I always wanted to get you stairs so you could get on and off the bed easily. I hated when you jumped down. It scared me to think you could get hurt. I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I wish you could’ve lived forever.
I love and miss you so much, my little Acrobat. Have fun up there.
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f_defillo1
These are all good memories to cherish for ever. God bless.
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Snowflaker
Hello, Snowflakers-
Still loving and missing you more than you’ll ever know. I wish you were here. I’m sure you wish you were here too. I still keep thinking of Thanksgiving. You were acting just like a puppy again. You were so good. You ate so much yummy food and drank so much milk. I wish I would’ve fed you more the next day. All I gave you was a little peanut butter. I hate I didn’t give you more food. I hate myself a lot of days for overlooking what happened to you. I just try to take it one day at a time for the baby. I’m hopeful once she’s here it’ll help with the emptiness I feel. I know I deserve it, but I can’t live feeling like this for forever. I wish you were here to lick all my tears away. I miss how you used to do that. You were the most loyal companion.
We all love and miss you down here. Goodnight Sweetie.
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Snowflaker
Good morning, Babygirl-
It’s raining right now. It’s supposed to be raining all day. You’d probably make me tell you to go potty 10 times until I eventually had to put you in the yard. You hated the rain. You hated baths too. I used to hate bathing you. I would feel so bad. I remember when I used to bath you and Angel at the same time in the sink. I would have one of you on each side. You guys would take turns trying to jump out of the sink. I hated that. It would make me so nervous you guys were gonna get hurt. You guys were not fazed to jump from 4 feet in the air even though you guys were so tiny. I don’t know for sure, but we think you guys were teacup Maltese. Until you two were diagnosed with cancer, you were always about 3.5lbs and Angel was about 4.5lbs. I wish Princess was more excited to meet you. She was so skidish though. She is scared of her own shadow. You wanted to play when Auntie brought her home for the baby shower, but Princess didn’t want to. I remember the one time daddy’s neighbor had a rescue Maltese. You two loved her. You guys couldn’t get enough. You guys were running wild all through the yard. Her owner said she was scared, and took her in after a few minutes. I was so upset. I couldn’t believe how happy you two were. Her rescue seemed just as happy to me. I wish I would’ve gotten you two another small female friend. You both hated males and weren’t fans of big dogs. Which is why is surprises me how well you adjusted to Kali. It took awhile, but eventually you started to love her, even if it was only deep down.
I love and miss you so much, Babygirl. I hope you’re doing well.
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Snowflaker
Hello, Beautiful girl-
The baby might be coming next Monday or Tuesday. I wish you were here. I know it sounds crazy, but I wanted you there. I wish you could’ve went to the hospital with me. I would’ve snuck you in if I had to. I wanted you there so bad. I told everyone that. I think they thought I was crazy, but it was something I wanted to share with you. I miss and love you so much. I just want you home. I hate being here without you. I found another poem I wanted to share with you.
A million times I’ve needed you,
A million times I’ve cried.
If love alone could’ve saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place,
No one else can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn’t go alone.
Part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.
I’ll forever and always love and miss you, Babygirl. I hope you’re enjoying yourself and everything you deserve.
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