patrickmcg23
So on 7/10/2016  I lost my best friend Simba, he was a bi-eyed brown and white Siberian Husky. My fiancé and I had left for DFW to visit my parents for the weekend and finalize all of our wedding stuff (we get married in mid august). Simba, being the big baby he was, doesn't do well in cars and we decided to leave him with our roommate for the weekend (we were going to be gone for less than 48 hours). Saturday June 10th late at night the house had an electrical fire. Simba and my roommates pit Bella did not make it. I feel so guilty because I keep trying to go back in time and bring him with us on that trip.

I got Simba when I was early in sobriety in 2014. He was just a puppy and that dog got me through some very dark places early on. I honestly feel like I owe him my life. He made me grow up inadvertently. I was so engulfed with self until he came along. He did so much for me in growing up. 

I don't know what to do. I have days where I can smile about him and miss him with love. And other days (like yesterday and today) where I don't want to go to work or see anyone. I shut down.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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CKMP
patrickmcg23,

I am so so sorry for your loss of Simba.  He sounds like a beautiful and gentle soul.  Your loss is so recent and your grief will ride in like waves crashing against your head and your heart.  There will be days yes, when you smile and shed tears of happiness at the times spent together and then the other darker days will roll in and nothing will seem of importance or value in relation to what you have lost.  There is only tears of unhappiness, loneliness and guilt. . . You are not alone through this journey of grief and mourning. . . SO many kind people here understand and can truly empathize with your loss and emotions.  It is difficult to 'pretend' all is fine, when really your special friend is not there - There is so much support, and kindness yes, and acceptance from our special fur ones - and of course that unwavering love and devotion that is shakes the very essence of our lives and who we are.  It will take you as much time as it takes you to work through the grief and come to some place of acceptance. . .unfortunately . . . I think maybe that is all we do - we work through the intense grief and then try to learn each day how to live with the loss and the differences now.  I wish for you some strength, some moments of gratitude in having Simba in your life - as it sounds like he saved you as these fur ones often do.  Please do not let guilt cloud the impact Simba had on your life, to try and live the would haves, should haves and could haves will erode those moments that you two shared.  And once let in, guilt is a tough houseguest to get out!  Come here often, share your thoughts and read others' posts - there is often great comfort in knowing you are not alone through this. . .  And I have come to believe, the bond forged between you and your special fur one is never ever lost or broken . . . Simba will be with you each day - Take care.
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OmarR
Patrick,

I am so very sorry for your tragic loss!


I lost my Siberian Husky Emma 7 weeks ago to cancer. She was only 5.5 years old.

When you feel up to it, please post up pictures of your beautiful baby!

Also, on days when you feel like "shutting down", please come on here and let us know how you are doing. I have felt like "shutting down" everyday in the last 7 weeks.


Omar.
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Bailey15
I am so sorry for your loss Patrick! It sounds like Simba was not only your best friend but you forged a whole other bond with Simba being there for you to get through those dark places you mentioned. Our animal friends are so wonderful that way. Congratulations on your sobriety! I know you would like to go back in time and take him with you on your trip and if only that were possible. The sad fact is you had no way of knowing the fire would happen and and that Simba and Bella would not make it out. Such a terrible, senseless accident. I hope that you are able to find some peace. Grieving a huge loss like this does take time but slowly it will start to get better and in time thinking of your beautiful Simba will bring a smile to your face. Take Care,
MJ
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miedtr
Patrick,

What a tragic and devastating loss!  We all have moments, hours or days when we feel "okay", then for no reason feel like the pain is as fresh as the day in happened.  So many what ifs, whys and if only.  Most of us have been there.

This moment is not a good one for me which is why I am back here again tonight.

I am so sorry

T
tammy miedema
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