thewickedkat
hi all,
i had to make the difficult decision this past saturday (9 november) to say goodbye to one of my lovely cats, named Pie. she had been diagnosed with cancer and had such difficulty breathing and oh, such an awful decision, but we didn't want her to suffer anymore. we as the humans are coping as best we can (and two of our other cats seem to be adjusting), but Pie had to leave her brother Loki behind.
the Twins (as we called them) hadn't been apart for longer than three days in he entirety of their lives (just over 10.5 years), and at first, Loki seemed to be doing well, all things considered--he had noticed his sister's behaviour changing over the past few months, knew something was off about her in the way animals can sense it--but he himself hadn't displayed any overt symptoms of grief since this past saturday (where as i wake up and i'm a mess for about fifteen minutes before i get my game face on). he was eating normally, playing, being normally vocal and interactive, if just a wee bit withdrawn.
and then, not two hours ago, he comes out of his favoured cubby, has a case of the Zoomies upstairs and runs until he's panting. he calmed a bit, got his breath under control, but is...uninterested in moving from a spot where Pie used to lay down, under an armoire where it was quiet for her and no one bothered her. Loki isn't fussy at the moment, or affectionate, but he did purr and allow me to pet him and he is *behaving* as if he's depressed, suddenly. he is uninterested in treats. he was indeed playing earlier, and had a good dinner and then a snack.
i guess my question is, can grieving in cats be...delayed? i tried to do some research but found nothing in particular answering my question. i've experienced other cats grieving in my life after a fellow buddy passed, but i've never dealt with siblings who had such a tight, close bond.
any advice or direction to other resources would be greatly appreciated, and i thank you in advance for taking the time to read my long-winded question.
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LauriP92
Animals absolutely get depressed! Maybe Loki kept waiting for Pie to come home and suddenly realized he isn't. I would talk to the vet because you dont want him to stop eating and drinking-its easy for cats to dehydrate. Maybe they can give you some tips on how to help Loki cope
Sending you a hug. Its the worst feeling knowing you helped Loki but made yourself so sad
Lauri
Lauri 
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Lfc7118
I believe animals can become depressed. My baby boy went missing last Wednesday November 6th I didn't find out till Monday what happened to him. My little girl kitty has been searching all over the house for him in the places he would normally sleep. I am trying to give her all the love I can because I don't know any other way to make it easier for her. I would just say shower Loki with lots of love and it will help you and him get through this difficult time.
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Kat,

I am sorry for your recent loss. : / 

Yes, as LFC so wisely posted above just shower Loki with love. The more the better, kisses and hugs (even if he doesn't like them) and lots of lap or cuddle time. Watch movies and TV binge and just pet him for as long as you can. Remind him that you and he are close and love each other. Just take it day by day, night by night. Love and affection CAN help heal. Quality treats may help too. I'm talking about human food. Fish, steak and hamburger (chopped up) and chicken. Not super spicy, just quality in small amounts. Will help get his mind off of his depression and sadness.

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James
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thewickedkat
thanks, all, for your input and kind words. i really really do appreciate it.

just over two weeks on since we had to say goodbye to Pie and i thought i was doing well myself, but then vacuumed the upstairs floor and had to have a little cry over the fact that i'd just swept where Pie used to have one of her hidey spots, behind the bedroom door. realised that little by little tangible pieces of her were leaving my house for good and well...twenty minutes later and a lot of tissues in the bin and finally finished sweeping.

her brother Loki is...a lot quieter than he used to be. he doesn't have a playmate, really, anymore, who understands him intrinsically the way Pie did (our other two cats don't play much, as they are either old or special needs), and when i try to play with him he does for a bit, then looks at me like 'you're doing it wrong, mom.' then he wanders off.

he is still eating, i'm sneaking water into his soft food (which i've done since he was a baby, really, but now i'm just putting more in), because i haven't *seen* him drink water in a couple days. doesn't mean he isn't, though; cats are excellent at stealth after all. he gets a few treats daily, and catnip every few days, but he has definitely been changed by the loss of Pie. everything i've read says that animals' grief can sometimes take weeks to pass, and i'm keeping an eye on him physically (he isn't acting sick or not-hungry, his bathroom visits are still unremarkable), and i am doing my best not to hover and smother, nor let my own anxiety bleed over into his moods, but oh goodness is this much harder than i thought.

for those who celebrate the holidays, i hope you all have a wonderful time; be safe and cuddle your furbabies close.
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