ThenIFoundU
I never thought I would be the pet owner crying at work, losing sleep, utterly depressed. Yet here I am. I got Taurus when she was a kitten, I adopted her and her sister Gemini from a kill shelter. That was in 2011. For the longest time Taurus was my side kick, literally wanted me to hold her when she slept, if I moved she moved. A month ago after realizing something was wrong with her I took her to the vet, she had huge masses in her abdomen and we tried prednisone. It looked like she was going into remission for exactly 1 week, until the steroid dosage got dropped down. Then the masses came back.. even bigger. We increased her dose again and we went once a week every week for 4 weeks to do a follow up. She quit eating day before yesterday and I had to work, no way out of work. My husband took her back to the vet yesterday where the vet said this was the end and peacefully helped her pass away. Yesterday was the day after my dad who passed away in 07 birthday so already emotionally drained, I'm destroyed, I'm completely broken, my eyes hurt so bad from crying nearly a full 24 hours. I had nightmares last night about trying to save her and her being buried alive. I'm mkserable.. I miss her so much. My whole daily routine for years has involved her and for the last month everything I did revolved around feeding her, giving her medicine, protecting her from other cats, watching her sleep, making sure she was breathing, even what I ate revolved around her, I only made and ordered things she could eat. I lost my best friend, I'm so so sad
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ThenIFoundU
My coworkers are calling me the cat lady... I'm not a crazy cat lady she was my family I raised her I loved her. I feel like I lost my child.
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AZTiger98
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can relate, though.  My fur baby Stormy went to the Rainbow Bridge about 3.5 weeks ago.  She was my furry counselor, always wanted me with her, would come find me and meow until I either put her in my lap or came to bed with her late at night.  And yes, for probably the first 24-48 hours, I wanted to do nothing but go to bed and wake up at Rainbow Bridge. 

It won't seem like it right now, but the days will get easier.  You're in a good place here - there are so many supportive and caring people who have gone through or are going through the same trauma of losing a furry / feathered / scaled family member.  Come as often as you want, post as much as you want to / need to.  People here will understand - you're not a "crazy cat person", you were a meowmmy,

Hoping you can find some peace and comfort today in the midst of the grief.
David

Daddy to beloved fur baby Stormy
08/2003 - 05/19/18
Stormy’s Residency https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/STORM059/Resident.htm
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catiebee
Hi Dede, 

I'm glad you found your way here, but I'm so, so sorry for your loss of Taurus. I love what David wrote, that you've been a meowmmy.  They really are like kids, beloved family members, dear, dear friends. And the loss is great. It can hit even harder than loss of a human. 

Take good, good care of yourself while the grief is so raw and relentless. The pain is unspeakably bad and harsh at first, but over time it dulls and the waves of grief will ebb and flow. Everyone's journey is different but most everyone says it takes a log time to heal, to recover. 

My heart goes out to you and I wish you comfort.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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PipersMother
ThenIFoundU wrote:
My coworkers are calling me the cat lady... I'm not a crazy cat lady she was my family I raised her I loved her. I feel like I lost my child.


She is just a beautiful girl.  I am so sorry for your loss and so sorry for the way it happened.  I truly understand, as I lost a sweet girl this week too (Miss Miranda, 22 years old).  There is nothing that compares to losing a sweet kitty who has been the center of your world.  I am sending you comfort and healing thoughts.  
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ThenIFoundU
Thanks everyone for the support and kind words, I wish the world around me would be as comforting. I'm also very sorry for the loss of everyone else's babies. I never thought it would be so hard, yet this is indeed a test of my strength unlike any other.
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