I lost my sweet rescued cockatoo, Crystal, last week. She was my birdie buddy for 27 years. She died so suddenly. I’m wracked with guilt over her death. She seemed quiet the night before she died. Why didn’t I notice there was something seriously wrong then? Why did I wait until the next morning to rush her to the vet, only to have her die on the way? I always assumed she’d be with me for the rest of my life, since cockatoos have very long life span. I’m just so used to her having breakfast and dinner with me. I feel that I took her for granted. I keep going back over the days leading up to her death and asking myself why I didn’t notice anything was wrong. I can’t sleep. I have nightmares. She was such a good bird. She loved to snuggle and be petted and play catch with her rubber duck. I’m so used to hearing her call me with a “Hi, Chris!” (her own name) to get my attention. She lived through rescued dogs, cats, and other birds with shorter lifespans. I wonder what the point is of doing my usual activities. Everything I see reminds me of her.
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Cockatooowner - My deepest sympathies for the terrible loss of your beloved Chrystal. To have had her company for almost 3 decades, and then to lose her so suddenly, is a horrendous experience.

My understanding of these birds is that they are highly intelligent, attuned to their humans, and incredibly interactive. It's gruelling to no longer have the everyday routine that you shared with her.

I'm glad you found the forum. We all understand the depth of grief whenever we lose a dear companion, no matter the form.

Sending peaceful thoughts your way.
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twenty seven years, my god. I am profusely sorry for your loss. What I would have done for that life span though. You cant kick yourself around about the last few days, this I am learning first hand. 
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Checking in on you Cockatooowner - how are you doing?
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Oh Cockatooowner, I am so sorry. There are marriages that aren't as content as that, or last as long as that. It must feel devastating and surreal that she isn't there with you any more, after 27 years of her constant company.

I know what you mean when you say everything, everywhere, reminds you of her.

Our lives are filled with them. I had the same horrible feelings just after my Misty (dog) passed. I couldn't dare go to any place at all....the kitchen....the garden.....or fields, even the lane. Our territory was so huge there literally wasn't one place I hadn't been without her.
Wherever I trod was where we had trodden together. And the bedroom was the same. We slept together every night, so there was no respite there either. I wandered about trying to find some place that didn't hurt. I do recall.

Dear Chris. Bless her Soul.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer

Misty's life after death:
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So much love through such a long time span. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to grieve and begin to adjust. My heart goes out to you very much. 

I hope being here will help you. People understand how much a heart can hurt.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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