heikagirl
I’ve had my dog for 12 years. She grew up with me and has been my rock for that entire time. I honestly don’t know if I would be alive without her, as she helped me get through the worst moment of my life this past summer. Every hard time, Ive had her with me. She’s just unmitigated joy. She’s passing now, and it’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and she won’t be with me. I’ve been grieving for so long, and I’m scared to find life without her. I never join these sites but I’m desperate. I’m not sure this pain will ever go away. 
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Tankie12

I’m truly so very sorry. She sounds like she’s your *Heart Dog* that special one who shares your soul. I won’t try and minimize what’s happening or sugar coat it, you already know, you’re already grieving. So here are something’s I wish I’d know-keep a journal and start writing down all those sweet funny and quirky things she does daily. Take happy videos and pictures. When the time comes keep her personal possession in a plastic air tight bag, like her collar, toys or blanket. Her scent will be soo very special. Ask for paw prints clay and ink on paper. Some like a fur clipping.
My girl died just after she turned 12. She saved my life as well, and made it worth living. Their unconditional love is like none other
I’m not very religious but I do have faith and I believe we all have souls that never die, even when are bodies are gone. I believe my Tankie is always near by and cherish the signs I’m given that prove to me she is. After all, I’m still her Mommy❣️ We’ll be here for you. Things are crazy in the world right now and responses may be slower but we are here for each other. Many big hugs for you and your girl,,,,,

Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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heikagirl
Hi Lynn,

Thank you so much for your beautiful response. My girl passed yesterday, and it left me so shocked. The pain felt physical. I’m not sure how to walk around the house without her waiting in her usual spots. I’ve accepted that I will be grieving her for awhile, but hopefully those things that remind me of her will get less painful and just make me happy when I see her. You’re right, I will always be her Mommy. I’m glad to have found this community and receiving support and giving too will help a lot I think. Much love and thank you.
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Buddy_Mama
Heikagirl, I'm so sorry. I know that feeling of shock and physical pain, especially right after losing your baby. Dealing with the grief is so hard, but I'm glad you found this community to help you. Come back as often as you feel the need to share and receive support and understanding. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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Tankie12

Olivia I’m soo sorry. I wish you’d had more time, I wish we had them in our lives forever. I also know surreal is the best way to describe the days and weeks after. Nothing feels right. I still expect her to push the bathroom door open with her nose because she had to know where I was at all times. She was my bottle fed baby. 

 I don’t know your girls name. I’d love to know more about her if you’d like. Or a picture❣️


I’m winging my way through this new forum set up and not sure how to *follow/subscribe* to a member or I would have responded right away. I’m sorry for the delay but please know you were in my thoughts and I’ll be here if you need me, many hugs,,,,,

Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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heikagirl

Hi,

Thank you all for your condolences. Thankfully, we had a beautiful last day, watching movies and cuddling from the AM to PM. Her name was Heika, and she was a German Shepard. She died at 13 and a half years old and lived a full and happy life, although of course, it still doesn’t feel like enough. It’s been 3 days now, and I still wonder where she is when I don’t see her begging for food under the table anymore. 


Here are some of my favorite pictures of her. She had such soulful eyes. 

Thanks so much for all of your support. People in my day to day don’t always understand the loss. They expect me to move on so fast. I don’t feel so alone on here. 

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Tankie12
Heika is beautiful! I love shepherds so much and yes, her eyes are filled with many unspoken words of wisdom and content-
I’m glad the day was filled with peaceful moments.   
The beauty of being here is we do understand and your grief is felt by all. I’m glad you feel comfort, if only momentarily, being understood. This is your road to walk and grieve all you want because this is huge,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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chilover
I am truly sorry to hear of your loss.
I am glad that Heika spent her last her day being cuddled, she sounded like a very happy, special girl. On my baby Daisy's last morning I gave her 3 thing's she loved - A little sausage, a little digestive biscuit & a little drink of tea. 

Coming to this forum will help you, it is a great support network. 

Sending you comfort & peace.

Angelina.
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Pennysforevermom
Heikagirl,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby on 3/21 and like you, we had a beautiful last day together. It doesn't take away the pain and feel the void. I wasn't ready for my baby to go. I wanted her to live forever. It's hard. Sending you a virtual hug.
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heikagirl
Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to hear all of your stories, and thank you for sharing them. All of you sound like amazing owners and that your doggies were so lucky to have you. I am sending my support and love as well.

It has helped me to memorialize her in different ways. I planted a little flower bed in my backyard in her honor and tending to it each day has helped me feel closer to her. I've also kept her collar hanging on the headboard of my bed. It has started to get a little easier, as each day comes. This of course, was very unexpected, and feels like somewhat of a betrayal to her memory. Do any of you feel this way? 

Heikagirl
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RemysMom
Heikagirl - I also lost my girl last week and I feel similar to you. I still cry at some point each day but it’s not nearly as debilitating as it was the first few days. I found that once I forced myself to go through our typical routines without breaking down, it started to get a little better. I definitely feel at times that I’m betraying her memory by being “okish” right now or feel like she’d be upset that I was able to eat a meal or sleep. Kind of darned if you do, darned if you don’t. I haven’t gotten her ashes back yet. I’m sure that will throw me again. Everyone grieves differently and processes at their own pace. 
My most beautiful Golden Retriever Remy: 8/1/09-3/17/2020. 
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