Pishycatmeow
My cat's name was Pishy, like fishy with a "p". It's a nickname my grandmother and father used meaning "kitty" in Farsi.
Christmas of 1995, I was six years old. On the plane back home from spending christmas with my family, I drew a picture for my parents of what I expected to be under the tree when I got home. I showed the picture to my mother, she showed it to my dad. I drew a beautiful, intricatly woven basket holding the most precious of cargo, a little kitten. I wanted a baby of my own to care for, a little playmate and a pet. My mother told me Santa had left my kitty at the shelter to be cared for and we needed to pick her up. I was so excited to see my kitty, but my mom made me wait in the lobby and I looked at the older cats, wondering if they were presents from Santa for another little girl. 
Unbeknownst to me or my mother, there was only one litter of kitten this winter and all but one got sick and died. The one survivor, was my kitty. 
On the ride home, I sat in the font seat, admiring my new baby and decided to call her "Honey-dew" because of her light golden/cream coloring. She had the most beautiful green eyes. I never used that name to call her, in fact that name was soon forgotten as we started calling her "Pishy".

I spent 15 years with her, had her de-clawed, *which I will never do to another cat again, I'm sorry Pishy, if I could I would take it back ;( *, brushed her, pet her, loved her, fed her, cleaned her box, and later, cleaned up regurgitated food when she couldn't digest anymore.

I remember vividly the huntress she was. She was a wild cat a heart, always escaping somehow and bringing her momma a "present", usually a bird or a rabbit who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. One day, she killed a rabbit in our house, it looked like a homicide had taken place, but Pishy was very self satisfied and happy, at the time all I could be was impressed, I was only 8.

She was very fiesty at night, she got a burst of energy when the sun came down, and I learned very quickly that if I wanted to get some sleep, I had to get the cat out of my room at night. She protested for I believe over a year, constantly calling and meowing to gain entrance, only to be turned away. She only slept during the day right in the middle of my pillow.

When we got a dog, about 8 years later, Pishy was not happy. She didn't like other animals, and was very territorial. When we got our 6 month old Springer Spaniel, I made sure Pishy could always find a safe space in my room, a place that I vigorously defended from my curious canine.

She had the worst meow of them all. In fact, an I feel terrible about this, there were times I didn't want to be around her because she wouldn't be quiet. But she loved me, I recently decided to take a new approach, and talk back to her. I would ask her how her day was and she would screech and scream with delight. Sometimes I took her for granted, assuming she would always be there.

I didn't know how much she really ment to me until she got sick. Her behavior changed, she stopped eating and I didn't come home to find her laying on my clean laundry, something she would never pass up. She had hidden behind our rarely used living room couch, a place she knew the dog would leave her alone.

I was worried when, on the third day, she wouldn't eat or drink and hadn't for about a week. My parents knew it was her time, but I couldn't believe it. She was okay just a few days ago. I took her to the vet, a place she hates with the fire of hell, because i needed to know. She was weak but made many protests as the doctor took her x-ray and sonogram.

She came back a hour later to tell me my cat had a tumor on her pancreas and speen, and the prognosis wasn't good. I waited to break down after she had left the room. My cousin came and I cried on her shoulder. All I could say when she asked me what was wrong was, "She's done." The doctor gave her 24 hours of fluid and I took her home crying.

She spent her last afternoon on the patio that day, I put her on her favorite chair while I looked up everything I could on the internet, that's when I found RainbowsBridge.

I tried to make her last 4 days comfortable; I put a blanket in her hiding spot, she didn't use it as much as I wanted, preferring to lay on the cold tile. I visited her often and spent time petting her frail body and watching her breathing get more and more difficult. They day after the diagnosis, my dad asked me if I wanted to put her down. No, I needed more time, she wasn't ready, I couldn't do it.

Over the weekend, I came to terms with what was happening, understanding that I had no power to stop the disease, only ending her life. I couldn't do it.

On Sunday I made up my mind that if she was still suffering on Monday, I would help her out the door, across the bridge. I spent my last moments with her, early monday morning, I could feel everything beneath her skin, she was all bones. She meowed to me and I made her purr, even though it was hard of me to see her like that. I still remember how loud she was purring that last time, I could hear it across the house.

My mother woke me the next morning with the news of her passing. My parents out her body in a boot box wrapped in a blanket. I had to see her, to know she was really gone. I'll never forget that image, sometimes I regret looking, sometimes I don't.

I am still as unsure of my decision as I was last weekend, but I'm glad she had control of her death. She picked the spot, she knew she needed to be isolated. I couldn't take her back to the vet, she hated it, I wanted her last moments to be peaceful, not traumatic.

I miss my Pishy cat all the time. My friends have been very supportive, but this loss is very personal. I am not going to bring another cat into this house, this is Pishy's territory and will always be as long as I live here. 

I miss my cat and the unconditional love she showed me. I miss all the hair in my nose, I miss her smell and her terrible meow more than I could ever imagine. I miss her so much. I miss her greeting me at the laundry room door after she heard the garage door open, she alway knew when I was home.

I have many regrets, many things I would do over again, but I would always make the decision to keep her and love her. I miss her soft fur so much it hurts. It's only been two days.

Pishy was in my dreams last night. I thought she was gone but she came back and she was healthy and meowing on the patio, her favorite spot in the sun.

I'm not perfect, but I was to her.
I really need that in my life right now, I need my cat. I need my Pishy with me. 
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Woodypatty
What a lovely story of your Pishy. I wish I had the words to ease your pain . Its been two weeks for me and it is just a little better. Coming  here to let out all the emotions is a help. People here understand your love and your sadness.We are listening.                                                                Patty
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Pishycatmeow
I miss her so much. I was just verbally attacked by a girl I used to call my friend. I know coming home to cat would help, but she's not here to comfort me. She was so soft and loving.
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erica212
I am so sorry for your loss. We all know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. They give us so much unconditional love all the time.
Much like your Pishy, we lost our beloved dog Thunder on Oct. 13. It has been really hard to believe that he is gone. He too got sick, with no warning, and there was nothing we could do to save him....it was too late by the time we saw something was wrong.
I am sure you feel the same way we all do, when we lose a pet that we loved so much.
Try and take it one day at a time. You have come to the right place to share your feelings. We are all here and understand your pain. You couldn't have found a better group of people than the people here.

Sending my thoughts your way,
Erica
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Woodypatty
I am so sorry your "friend" was unkind. If she knew what you are going through and still attacked  then she isn't much of a friend. Take the time you need to grieve. Stay away from those kind of friends and be with those who can offer you comfort. There are many here who understand.  They have helped me hold it together when I felt like everything was falling apart and my heart was breaking.
                                                                                                   Patty
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TxGuy

So sorry for the loss of your wonderful Pishy. You were such a wonderful pet parent and Pishy had a great life. This site is such a wonderful place to begin to heal and talk with others who know what you are going through.

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slotaddict
So very sorry for your loss of your precious kitty Pishy...Everyone here understands and they are not judgemental..Come here share your grief and everyone will help you get through your sadness.  It will probably take some time, I lost my beautiful dog Kayla on 10/4..its been very hard.
In the meantime my thoughts and prayers are with you..
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Polly
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Pishy. She sounded like a wonderful friend and companion, and I understand how painful her loss is for you. This is a wonderful place and you will find support, understanding and love from the wonderful people who also understand what you're going through.

Thinking of you.

Polly

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Becky

I'm so sorry about Pishy.  I had a beautiful cat name Chessie who became sick like that when she was only 5 years old.  In a week's time, she became skin & bones & so weak she couldn't stand up.  I made a soft bed for her in the closet & went to a basketball game where my son played & I worked in the concession stand.  When we came home, Chessie hadn't moved & wouldn't open her eyes.  I put on my soft robe (which she loved to snuggle against) & layed her on my chest until she breathed her last.  You are not alone in your grief; many of us have walked that valley & are here for you.

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niki
HELLO
I AM SO SORRY TO READ YOUR VERY SAD NEWS ABOUT PHISHY
THIS IS A WONDERFUL PLACE TO POUR YOURHEART OUT
I HOPE YOU WILL BE OK AT THIS SAD TIME
I UNDERSTAND....................................
GOD BLESS
TAKE CARE
NIKI
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laddy

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Stormy September 20 this is a wonderful place to come.

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donnalee
Thank you for taking the time to write about Pishy.  I absolutely loved reading about how you got her when you were 6 yrs. old.  Isn't that something that there was only 1 litter that winter AND only 1 survivor out of that litter?  You and she were meant to be together!    I'm so sorry you have lost this love, this best friend who was always there for you.   We do understand how you feel.
I loved what you said "I'm not perfect, but I was to her".  I have a little sign on my desk that says "My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog thinks I am".  I guess that is one reason this kind of a loss is so hard for us.  No one loves us as unconditionally as they do. 
Someday, you'll be able to think of many things you are thankful for such as the 15 year you had with her, that she passed on her own terms, also that you gave her such a wonderful life filled with love, AND it seems she has already come to you in a dream to let you know she is fine and happy!
You are going to have to cry and grieve because she was a big part of your life, but I hope you will let us be with you during this time so we can support and encourage you.  You seem to be an excellent writer.  Please write more about her when you are ready.  We'd love to hear about her.  She sounds like quite a character!
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Pishycatmeow
Thank you so much for this outpouring of support, it means a lot. I will write more, soon.
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