Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
Kyra_Carina

Registered:
Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #1 
My sweet Kyra is 12 yeas old and has a Squamous cell carcinoma on her snout. We could not do surgery for the location. We started chemio but after 3 months, she has a huge hole on her face even though she is eating, and doing very well. 
That's is terrible, to see her with half face and still eating, going out and moving her tail.
I am desperate, from yesterday I started to talk to her saying that it's okay to leave, that we should meet later, but she is doing so great emotionally and phisically that I do not know how to react. 

I need help, I don't know how I am going to go through this, it is killing me ...  buki.jpg 


__________________

 


Who rescued who? Carina.

0
Bailey15

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,123
Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Carina,
For me, it has always been about quite of life. Will the chemo cure Kyra? At 12 years old, she may be finding it difficult even if it doesn’t show. Animals will hide their pain; something to do with an old instinct about becoming prey. In the end you will need to decide what is right for you but if I was in your situation I would have a frank discussion with your vet about what the chemo can do. Is it merely keeping her alive? If so, then I would give the best few days of her life: the park or wherever her favourite place may be, all kinds of her favourites food treats, lots of cuddling, pictures and video and then help her to find peace so she can cross over with dignity. I don’t envy you this decision. I has to make it for my dog and I remember the vet saying that it was as peaceful as it gets. Of course the loss is devastating but in the moment we need to do what is right for our beautiful friends. All the best and please post again with an update or if you just feel you need to let out some of the pain you are feeling. Sending hugs,
MJ 🤗
0
Kyra_Carina

Registered:
Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #3 

MJ million thanks for your words <3 Actually last week the vet told me, chemo is not working so we need to stop intoxicating Kyra. I had a bit of hope but from today and after reading you, I've stopped it. It doesn't make sense at all.

I cannot take many pictures as she has lost the right part of her muzzle and that's not the way I want to remember her. Besides the cancer, she had a bacteria we are fighting with and anemia, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESS IS MY DOG DAUGTHER, yet she is eating, moving tail, peeing and I wonder if she is doing it for me. I do not want to keep her here suffering.

I also have to took her a tooth by myself today which was totally visible from the outside and was driving her crazy. I know I cannot do more that I've already done.  I will keep spoiling her until her last breath that I she takes in her dreams

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. you make me feel that I am not alone.

Carina


__________________

 


Who rescued who? Carina.

0
Bailey15

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,123
Reply with quote  #4 
Hi Carina,
I’m glad if my story helps you. I know it is such a devastating time.
Please know that you are not alone. My little dog, Bailey had a small lump on his eyelid that had started to scratch his cornea. The opthomologist said “it was cancer but not the kind that would spread” so we told her to go ahead with the surgery and remove it. A few weeks later Bailey stopped eating and it was the beginning of the end... If only I’d known the cancer had spread or likely even started someplace else. I would have moisturized his eye even more, done all of his favourite things with him and then let him go peacefully. Kyra is still here, and even with all the health issues she has, she still loves you so much ~ as you love her. So even though you know she has all these issues, you still have a little time with your beloved girl. You will need to examine your heart as to how long you want her to go on as she is or perhaps have that very sad discussion with your vet. I would also think about pain killlers for her now (if she’s not already on them.)
Once you have established a timeframe, even though it may be short, you can look at this as a time to enjoy with Kyra. Try as much as you can to push the bad thoughts away and just really allow yourself to be present in the moment so you can enjoy your girl as it will bring you so much comfort in the future.
Please post an update when you feel up to it.
Hugs and a wish for peace,
MJ
0
Nancyj

Registered:
Posts: 49
Reply with quote  #5 
Hi Carina,
No, you are not alone.  God bless you and your sweet baby.  I lost my Timmer cat a year ago to IBD/lympoma, and I also had him on chemo though I only got through about 3 doses with him.  I cried with every dose.  You don't know really how that makes them feel, we only know how people react to it. The vet told me he might not feel anything but I find that hard to believe. I stopped because it was never going to work for my cat and I didn't want to poison him with something I would never take myself.  
Letting go is so very hard, especially when they are acting "normal."  Timmer could no longer move his bowels because his gut had swollen shut. It was terrible letting him go.  I took it very very hard.  I thank God for this site and a cat site I am on. I had to have some counseling.  Time heals, or so they say, but sometimes there is that one special precious one that touches our hearts in a way that no one else ever has before.  Letting go is a struggle but you should not feel guilty (nor should I) because we gave these special ones a wonderful life.  As I said it's been a year for me. If I think back to what we went through and focus on it, I will cry.  I am more now able to look at pictures of him and only feel love...and maybe a little heartbreak. He was only 8 years old and we didn't have nearly as long as we should have.  I wish things could be different for all of us.
Realize that your grief will go up and down like a rollercoaster.  Good days and bad.  Good hours and bad hours.  
Come back here and tell us how you are doing.
God bless.



__________________
Nancy
0
Kyra_Carina

Registered:
Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #6 
Yesterday and trying to leave my egoistic love, we went together to help her cross the rainbow. My heart is broken, she was walking around the vet and I was trying to convince myself that it was for her best. She was out of chemo and the tumor grew a lot in a few days. 
She had lot of medical issues but I couldn't see her suffering so I was hoping for a miracle. The vet told me, she is suffering, do you want to want until she cannot move? 
I hold her in my arms all the time and for a second I wanted to run away with her...
I miss her so much, I love her so much and I want so much to have her here with me. Again, my heart is broken and always be as she was my savior, my princess, my rescuer.

I hold her till her last breath, kissing her head and repeating I love you. I wish she passed away feeling my warm, my kisses and my love.

Thanks for hearing and God bless you! <3

__________________

 


Who rescued who? Carina.

0
Bailey15

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,123
Reply with quote  #7 
Oh, Carina,
I’m so sorry! I am sure Kyra was comforted knowing you were there holding her.
I think it was good that the vet made that comment because it takes such a burden off your shoulders and you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s so sad thought that things progressed so quickly after stopping the chemo. This really is the hardest part; having to go on without your beautiful girl! Please come back and post on how you are doing. Everyone here understands the pain you are feeling and will want to offer you support. Sending many hugs!
MJ
0
Nancyj

Registered:
Posts: 49
Reply with quote  #8 
I am so very very sorry for your loss.  You did everything possible.  Your vet was right.  I'm glad you got that confirmation.  I know right now it doesn't help you but in days to come you will remember it. 
Your sweet baby and mine are probably playing with each other now.  One day we will see them again.

__________________
Nancy
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,095
Reply with quote  #9 
Your *dog daughter* is exactly what Kyra is and you will grieve just the same. I’m so sorry, words alone seem so inadequate but it’s all I have to offer. Your love and bond with her is obvious and I agree with your thoughts that she may have been hanging on for you. That’s how strong their unconditional love is, it’s a perfect love. When in the blink of an eye your world has changed the shock and grief that follow is as if you’ve fallen into a deep dark abyss and you’re just left in suspension. It really helps to keep writing here or in a journal or both. We truly understand, you’re not alone Carina,,,,,
__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
Peteyd

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 67
Reply with quote  #10 
I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand how you felt going through those last weeks, days, and hours. It has been the single hardest thing I have ever had to face. There isn’t much I can say that will lessen the sadness. It was so sharp at first, and came upon me in horrible waves. The pain will dull some with time but you are forever changed. How can you love something so much and not be ? Today is 164 days that my Elvis is gone. I miss him terribly. He was my best friend. My heart still sinks when I think about his last day. He was full of life. I posted his journey here because I did not know how to handle it. I too wanted to scoop him up before the Vet came and run away, but at what cost. We often act selfishly when it come to out beloved pets. It was difficult what you did, but from what you described, it was time. I pray that you will find acceptance and peace. Aligning the head with the heat will be the most difficult part. Be gentle with yourself. I am here for you.

Pete🐾❤️

__________________
Peteyd
0
Kyra_Carina

Registered:
Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #11 
Oh Pete, you really don’t know how much I can relate with all you’ve written.
I want to share with all of you my humble memorial to my beloved dog daughter Kyra
Thanks for the support ❤️❤️❤️

Attached Images
jpeg 2369879B-3C7D-4B53-BEC4-9F49E8ADD88E.jpeg (149.28 KB, 3 views)


__________________

 


Who rescued who? Carina.

0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 1,095
Reply with quote  #12 
Carina it’s beautiful❣️What a beautiful visual you carry at all times.
My heart honestly hurts for you because I know this is the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Nothing compares. You are in my thoughts and prayers along with your sweet daughter, Kyra,,,,,

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.