Most of you know my story as I have shared it so many times. Since Pecan’s death was sudden and we don’t know the cause I feel so guilty and blame myself for not seeing the signs, not taking her to the vet more often or for every little thing, for not taking her soon enough. She was a beautiful Cockapoo and She was only 9 so I blame myself for her short life. She was my best friend and my confidant and the best loyal dog ever. It’s been almost 17 weeks and I still miss her dearly and cry everyday. Now the guilt is changing to shame. When I hear and see the other dogs in the neighbourhood or any other dog I feel like a failure and I’m ashamed of myself. I wish all the pets and owners all the best but why all the other dogs are here even the older dogs and Pecan is the only one that left so early. Was it my fault? Should I have done things differently? Did I let her down? I feel so bad for her and not sure if I even deserve to be happy but I have to move forward to be there for my kids. I have no choice.