Pecan_mom

Most of you know my story as I have shared it so many times.  Since Pecan’s death was sudden and we don’t know the cause I feel so guilty and blame myself for not seeing the signs, not taking her to the vet more often or for every little thing, for not taking her soon enough.  She was a beautiful Cockapoo and She was only 9 so I blame myself for her short life.  She was my best friend and my confidant and the best loyal dog ever.  It’s been almost 17 weeks and I still miss her dearly and cry everyday.  Now the guilt is changing to shame.  When I hear and see the other dogs in the neighbourhood or any other dog I feel like a failure and I’m ashamed of myself.  I wish all the pets and owners all the best but why all the other dogs are here even the older dogs and Pecan is the only one that left so early.  Was it my fault? Should I have done things differently?  Did I let her down?  I feel so bad for her and not sure if I even deserve to be happy but I have to move forward to be there for my kids.  I have no choice.


Sp
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Michelemh
So sorry. It is very difficult. I really miss my dog also who passed away 10 months ago. It is hard without them.

Michele
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Leslie_an
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure that having lost Pecan so suddenly was horrible. I recently lost my Luna, who was only 3 years old, so I understand how difficult those feelings of guilt and shame are. Feeling like you could've done things differently. But based off this post, you said that Pecan was your best friend, and it is clear that you loved her very much. I don't know the full story, but I'm sure that you did everything you could in the moment. I know that may not bring too much comfort now, but I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in your feelings. 
Leslie
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Lynn_E

Dear Sp, 
I’m sorry you are going through this and having these feelings. You were a good mother to Pecan. I am sure that you did the best you could to take care of her and unfortunately, the passing of our fur babies is part of life and we somehow have to accept these things happen, even though we may not have all the answers. I lost my cat peter Friday July 10. I had wish I had been in the room when he collapsed. But at least I was there for his very last moments. 

I grew up with dogs in our family and with all 3 dogs, my family does not know the direct cause of any of their deaths. You are not alone with these feelings. I hope one day you will be at peace with what has happened. You deserve to be happy. Please don’t think otherwise. 

Lynn, Peter’s mom 
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P_Mom
Dear Pecan Mom, I don't know all details but saw your initial post and you did not know what was going on internally.  Especially when your baby is not that old and absolutely no heath issues to that point.  Dogs have off days sometimes like we do and many of us have learned a wait and see approach is acceptable at times vs an unwarranted and stressful rush to ER. You were told to see your regular Vet (which we all prefer) and followed that advice. You then went to ER when your gut told you.  You did absolutely nothing wrong and should not feel shame. We don't know, we're not Vets and often they don't even get it right.  

I do however totally understand your feelings - we all do as we beat ourselves up 'if only we'd known more, done more, etc' when majority of us live for our babies.  I do it many times per day.  I'm sorry you went through and are going through this, it's pure agony.  You loved Pecan and gave her a wonderful life and unfortunately something inside went wrong that you had no control over.  

Sending big hugs and wishing you peace. 
Jennifer
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Pecan_mom
Thank you all for your kind words.  I cried so much last night.  I still feel sick today.  I have started my day with meditation so hoping for a better day.  Sending love to all of you.  
Sp
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DDs_Mom_12
Dear Pecan's Mom,

My cat just died unexpectedly on Saturday July 11th.  Like you, there were no symptoms, and he was doing fine the day before.  I, too, had the same feelings.  I thought, if I had only brought him to the vet more than once a year, he would still be alive.  I will never know the answer to that question, but I do know, just like your beloved Pecan, I gave him much love and a wonderful life.  I have volunteered at animal rescue groups throughout the years and have seen animals dumped off because owners were moving, had a new baby, don't have time for, etc.  So Pecan's Mom, please find solace in the fact that Pecan knew you loved her; animals do know.  Although Pecan can never be replaced, I assure you another wonderful little being will come into your life again because that is what life is about.  
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Pecan_mom

@DDs_Mom_12

I am so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for your kind words.  You are right we gave our pets a wonderful life.  Pecan was loved by all of us.  We all adored her.  I miss her so much!  

Sending you love, 

Sp
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