November 4, 2015 will forever be the worst day of my life. On this day I said goodbye to my best friend and the pain is still just as fresh as if this happened yesterday. It's never an easy decision to make to put your pet to sleep and I am completely against euthanasia. But my cat (Whiskers) had been suffering from kidney failure for nearly two years. The last six months of his life his health was quickly going down hill. It became a matter of what was best for him. I was in a state of denial even though I knew his health wasn't good I didn't want to realize just how bad he was getting until my parents sat me down and talked with me about the situation. After this two hour talk and many many tears I realized I had a decision to make and my parents were supportive enough to let me make this decision on my own and to let them know when it was time to do what we had to do. I was selfish I didn't want to lose my cat even though I knew he was suffering. I finally made the decision when I woke up one morning and Whiskers couldn't even get up because he was so weak and he hadn't been eating or drinking water. That is when I knew it was time because he was suffering and it wasn't a healthy life for a cat to live. 

My dad called the vet and made the appointment. I absolutely dreaded this day! I never imagined having to put my cat to sleep. I just remember the days leading up to November 4th. I cuddled him, played with him and gave him extra treats. The day off I didn't take him to the vet in the kennel because my other two cats would have noticed he was leaving and I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that I didn't come back with him. I also have his sister, Duchess, who is still alive and she would have noticed right away that he didn't come back and I didn't want to give her anxiety. So instead I wrapped him in a blanket like a new born baby and I held him all the way to the vet. Normally on car rides my cats will meow the whole way but on this day Whiskers didn't meow once. It was like his way of telling me it was okay even though I was freaking out. Once we got to the vet they took us to the room and Whiskers was roaming around the room checking things out and I had sat down on the couch and laid the blanket out. He came up to me and wanted up on the couch so I placed him on the blanket and he laid right next to me with his paw on my leg. He was so calm and I think this was his way of letting me know that everything was going to be okay and that it was his time to go. 

Seven months later and I still cry every night. My room is so empty because he isn't here. He was always in my room and he was always by me and I don't have that anymore. If I had a bad day or just needed to vent I would talk to him. He would stare at me with those gorgeous blue eyes like he knew what I was saying. I will forever miss him and it never seems to get easier even with time and I don't think a lot of people understand the magnitude of what it feels like to lose a pet. It's like losing a family member and my grieving process it much longer than most because my parents have already gotten over the fact that he is gone and has accepted it. But it's harder on me because that was my cat, he was my shadow. I miss him everyday. I made the decision to have him cremated and my parents surprised me with a locket with his ashes in it and still to this day seven months later I cannot wear it. It's to hard for me. 

To whom ever may read this, thank you for listening to me vent. 
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Dear Kayla. So sorry to read this story of your beautiful whiskers. My kitty also passed from kidney failure. He didn't want to eat or drink either. This is also will be remembered as one of the worse days of my life. You are not venting . We are all friends here on this forum to support each other. We truly understand. I'm 2 months now and still so heartbroken. Please know that sadly our pets cannot be with us forever and it's only when they are gone that we realise the horrible pain that we are left with. . I will also miss my kitty forever and have huge photos of him everywhere. I wish he was here but we cannot change that they are gone. You did everything possible for whiskers and remember whiskers would not want to see you so sad. Big hugs.elle
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Kayla, you came to the right place and i am so sorry for the loss of your Whiskers......my pet Munki who passed on Dec 3rd 2015, also made noises when in the car she used to "weeeeee"....but i noticed too, the same day i took her to the vet, the noises did not happen, they actually diminished from everyday to only 2 to 3 times a week.....so i too know this feeling of trying to hear and hope they make the same sounds.

I too cry everyday and I am going on well over six months....i cry cuz i miss my girl!.........and yes, losing a pet is like losing a family member...it hurts deeply, i have cried more about losing my pet Munki more than close relatives that have went to heaven.

I too, have a locket with ashes, and I myself....wear this locket/necklace 99 percent of the time, it brings me closeness, i hold it in my hands and talk with my pets when i wear this....maybe in time, try wearing it, it may bring peace to you, having your Whiskers close to your heart.

Please keep coming back and posting, it takes away the alone feeling & know that you will always have support here!


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