I'm so sorry for your recent loss of Bailey. I can relate to the raw grief in the weeks after Rita went to the bridge. I could not eat or sleep and I could barely work. I just wanted to go be with her, but realized it is not my time and there is still more for me to do while here on this planet.
Allow all the time you need to mourn Bailey and most importantly don't let anyone tell you to "get over it". That insensitive comment hurt me on top of all the hurt I was already experiencing. You just don't "get over" a loving companion who has been part of your life and your soul.
You have come to the right place for healing. You should participate tonight in the candle lighting ceremony. I know it's on Mondays but I don't remember what time. I did it for a few weeks and it really to help me on my healing journey. And grief is a journey and a process. When I first came to this site I read posts that said the grief will eventually wane and positive memories will start to filter in. And that is so true. My family and friends were very concerned for my well being after losing Rita, but I would talk to her every night and ask her to help me to go on. I know she heard everything I said and has been my guiding light towards healing.
Just talk to Bailey whenever you get the chance and he will do the same as Rita has done for me. They love us unconditionally and would want us to remember all the good things about our lives together.
I went to the shelter several times in the weeks and months after Rita's passing. I would go in there, not to adopt a cat, but just to see those poor souls waiting for a loving home. I'm 100% Rita was guiding me there as part of my healing. Finally I went in and Sage chose me! She reached her paw out and let out a meow as if to say, Rita said it's ok. Rita saw my crushing grief and wanted nothing more than for me to be happy again.
Life will never be the same without her, but it's a new normal.
You will know when you are ready to go volunteer at the shelter. It will be a gentle whisper from Bailey...