greenbeagle

My little 19 year old girl is being sent Home today at 1:00p, and I don't know how I am going to get through this. It would have been hard enough if the world was "normal", but now..., with this virus and being shut inside with nobody else in this house - it scares me, to be honest.

I lost her sister on 11/30/16, and I lost my BFF on 11/13/19, suddenly and unexpectedly, and my girl, Hobbes, was all I had left in this world. My entire family has passed away and I no longer work (retired). Hobbes was my entire life.

I picked her up off of the streets when she was just 6 months old, took her home, and the very first night I had her home, she jumped in bed with me..., and that is how it has been for the past 19 years. We have NEVER been apart overnight. The only time I have even left the house overnight is when we had to evacuate because of Hurricane Irma, and we went together. I actually went to an animal day care center because they allowed a few of us to sleep in their lobby - they were out of the flood zone and could withstand a Cat 5 hurricane. I had a large dog crate for her, loaded with very soft blankets, and that is where she slept - I slept next to her on a hard, cold terrazzo floor so she could see me. So, this will be the FIRST time in all these years that we won't be together at night, and I don't know how I am going to handle this. When I lost Maggie, I had my BFF and my girl, Hobbes. When I lost my BFF this past Nov, I had Hobbes..., now I am losing the one constant in my life - Hobbes. I wanted to post a photo of her, but it says the photo is too large or post a URL address.

I know she must go Home because she is in pain - I think it may be more than arthritis. She had a large pre-cancerous sore surgically removed from her back in Jan, and even though the biopsy on that came as negative for cancer, I never could understand where that sore came from. She lost a blob of hair and that sore appeared. There may have been cancer further inside her, I don't know. But, I love her way too much to allow her to suffer any longer regardless of the underlying problem. She isn't eating and just hovers over her water bowl. I have to give her medicine every morning and every night (been doing that since August when she had 6 teeth extracted). I know she hates that and is just tired - her little body is broken. I just don't know if I can get through this good-bye..., the toughest one yet. 😰💔

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codysmum102
I am so sorry you have to make the terrible decision and for all that you've lost.  I've always wished that when my animals were near the end that they would just pass peacefully without my intervention because the decision is such a tough one to make.  Unfortunately I have not been lucky with any of my animals except two of my guinea pigs, who seemed fine the night before and then the next day they were gone.   In 2017 I had to let my 18 year old cat Moneypenny go.  She was in the same state as your Hobbs, not wanting to eat or drink, just wanting to lay in the corner of the closet.  On January 11th of this year I had to send my once in a lifetime dog, Cody shown in my avatar picture, who was my best friend, confidant and baby boy over the rainbow bridge due to a brain tumor.  Tomorrow at 11 am we are going to be bringing our last pet, Vinnie, my guinea pig to the vet.  He is six and a half, isn't really eating or drinking much, has lost a lot of weight and although it doesn't seem like he's suffering it's hard to know for sure but I don't want to watch him starve to death.
Having a pet, especially one that you've bonded with so closely is such a gift but after they are gone it almost seems like a curse because your life is so very empty.  I am retired too and my last 3 years I pretty much spent with Cody 24/7.  He went on vacations with us in our RV, slept with me in my bed and around the house was my little white shadow.  All he wanted in life was to be with us and I miss him so much.  My life will never be the same without him. My heart is broken so I know exactly how you feel. I've never grieved so much as when Cody left not even when my parents passed. Plus this virus is making things even worse because since I'm pretty much stuck in the house everything I see and everywhere I am in my house reminds me of him and that he is no longer here.  Posting on this forum has helped me knowing that there are so many others out there that feel the same way I do about their furchildren.  I hope it will help you too on the long difficult road ahead.
Peace and blessings to you,
Julie 💔
"Grief only exists where love lived first."
--Franchesca Cox
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BoxerMomForever
I’m so sorry - you have been though a lot. That’s hard to go through and especially how things are now.....  Hugs to you.    it is the most  difficult and dreaded decision.  They say it is out of love, we don’t want them to suffer.  We watched our girl get sicker and sicker after her cancer diagnosis. We tried to keep her here as long as we could but in the end, I could see How unhappy she looked and in pain.  It just broke my heart.  My Lily passed almost six months ago. It has been rough, thought I was good recently but today one of those days where I’m missing her a lot.
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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JulieF
I am so sorry about your loss.  I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a hug.  Your story is similar to mine - my boy Patch was from a feral litter and I brought him in.  I proceeded to bring in a few of the other kittens in later years.  He was 19 and was in kidney failure (which was discovered in December).  He grew thinner and thinner, but still seemed fairly energetic.  Then Sunday night he started going downhill and I knew Monday morning he was dying.  I knew it was coming, but it does not make it any easier.  I agree with Codysmum, Julie, that having a pet is such a gift and they bring us so much joy, but it can be a curse when they go because of the immense grief and pain that comes with it.  At least in this place you have a support group filled with others who understand what you are going through.  God bless.
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Timbersmom
So sorry to everyone who has had to make the painful decision to put their pet to sleep.  No one should ever have to make that choice.  We had to do just that only 48 hours ago with our very young 3 1/2 year old malamute Timber.  Within 2 days time he went from healthy and happy to deaths doorstep.  We have no idea what happened and we miss our great big boy terribly.  The tears are still flowing and see no end in sight.  I want him back so much the pain is tangible.  My family and I  are so overwhelmed with grief it is unimaginable.  I'm so grateful for finding this forum because I think this may help me heal. Mourning the loss of a precious pet unites us all, and I can say I am finding some solace to see that I am not alone in my debilitating sadness.  I just pray that one day I can remember my Timber with smiles and not tears!!  
Michelle Santora
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