ricemanstm
I dunno what it is about this morning but I'm really missing Delenn.  Although she's been giving me signs all around that she's ok and still around.  

Yesterday i looked up and as the clouds were going by, I swear there was a group that formed a cat stretched out in comfort enjoying the sun.  She used to have this pose where she'd curl up her body but she'd be have this very regal stance with her paws out stretched and her head level and straight.  I called this her "Sphinxy" pose.  That's what she looked like.  And her eyes would be half open as she basked in a sunny spot on the floor.  Well...that's what the clouds looked like...and I swear I saw a little smirk.

The day before that...there was a dent in the sheets where she'd lay on the bed.  I'm one of those OCD people who make the bed every morning.  I used to fold down one corner because Delenn liked that so she could lean on the fold and enjoy the fan blowing on her, then she'd move to the center of the bed where the fold would block the fan if she got too cool.  And right there was where I found the dent in the sheets.

I still leave her cup out, and I refill it.  I've cleaned up her litter boxes but her food dishes are still out, albeit empty.  Mornings still suck...and so do the late nights.  I've said that before, but hey...they still do.  This morning it hit me harder than it had in the past few days.  

We're going to adopt again, probably sooner than later.  Spiritually I know she's in the house, but it still feels empty.  I want her to approve of the new residents so she can train them up to her standards.

I know she's healthy.  She's strong.  She's free of pain. And the world is now her playground and litter box.  I'll be glad to have her in my arms again...and this time I won't ever let her go.

Love and miss you Delenn.
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

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Beaglemomma
It is the hardest thing ever to go through this grief.  You will find as you read more posts that it seems everyone here has lost that "once in a lifetime pet", which is so hard to believe.  Most of us have had other pet that we truly loved, but somehow ONE is just more important----------not sure that is even the right words--------but gets to us more than any other pet.  I can't explain it but it happens.  This time is HORRIBLE and there just isn't an easy way to get through it, just day by day and I wish I could say it had a time limit but it doesn't.

Just try to know that you are not alone in this.  Everyone here is hurting.  Wishing you peace.  We can't decide if we will get another pet or not the pro and con list is the same size.
janice
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ricemanstm
Janice, I REALLY appreciate your words. :-)
It's a comfort to come here and just post.  Very therapeutic.  
Thank you.
Stephen "Riceman" Myers
"The greatest tribute one can give a loved one is to share their life and stories with others."

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JerseyNonna
it is really hard to experience the depth of grief we're all going through but i do not believe it is selfish for any of us to miss our loved friends across the bridge.  selfish would be trying to keep them earthbound when it clearly is their time to cross which is what i did when doc told me roxie's huge heart stopped during the ultrasound and asked if i wanted them to do cpr to which i selfishly said yes.  but missing them is normal because they gave us such unconditional love and so much comfort just knowing they were always there for us.  i'm so happy to hear that delenn is showing you signs of her spirit presence and there is no doubt in my mind or heart that we will all be reunited with our loved friends when our names are called home.  they will be right there and when they hear or scent us we'll see a flash running towards us  and then we'll hear the sound of those beloved paws running towards us along with maybe barking and meows.  this is the thought keeping me sane right now as i continue to try to live my life disabled without my service dog.  god bless everyone here and many many hugs
JerseyNonna
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Sadiesmom061308
I know what you mean. Some days you think you are doing ok and then you hit bottom again. Grief is exhausting. We will be with our babies again. I am glad that Delenn is giving you signs. It is so tremendously hard to live without them. My neighbor who has Sadies best friend a St. Bernard named Brenna said I can't even imagine....... I say to myself how the heck am I surviving this. I have to believe that Sadie is giving me strength. I ache for her but I do feel her presence. I have never been through anything like this before. I know we have all said we have lost people before, but loosing an animal and especially for me having to make the decision to euthanize is horrific. My rational mind knows the decision was right. My heart hurts as I always protected her and then to have to take her life. Wow is it just so so hard. Sorry I am rambling. Thinking too much.
We will always love them
Tammy
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