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Dalidog
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Scooter.  It is unbearable to lose that forever friend and to know that life will never be the same.  There are no words of comfort.  Go slow....  they say time heals all, but it doesn't, it just makes it a little more bearable.  I ask WHY and get angry at God every day.  I was never like this before.  You begin to see life so differently.  But I make sure I thank my Dali every day.  They bring us unconditional love and companionship, and I know they would be sad to know how much we hurt.  Not what they want.  I know this, but it still doesn't make it any easier.  With profound love comes profound grief.  I was at the cat shelter donating a basket in my Dali's honor at Christmastime and there was a beautiful old cat sitting in the chair.  The people at the shelter said her owner died and the relatives didn't want her.  It is a no kill shelter, thank God.  Anyway, they said they don't want to adopt her out because she is old and probably won't do well, she was grieving.  I thought to myself, well, at least my Dali didn't have to grieve me.  I wouldn't want that.  I know she always waited for me when I was gone.  So one good thing, I do the grieving, not my baby.  You take care.  Hugs to you and Scooter from me and Dali.

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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jonancy
Thanks Dali's mom

I'm doing so bad tonight. It's only been three days, but it feels so much longer than that since I held Scooter. I thought I was doing better today, then I just crashed with unbearable grief. I can't wait to go to bed, but then can,'t sleep. Next day all over again ... Such long, long days.

Can't write anymore

Hugs to you and Dali

Scooter. I love and miss you so much!!!
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NemoPunkinbutter
{{{{HUGS}}}}  That happened to me too.  I thought I was doing better, then about 5 or 6 days in, it just hit me:  he's really gone.  Each day IS a tiny bit better, but then I have days like today when I just go through it all again:  where is my boy? I miss him so much.  Why isn't he here? How does it feel so long ago but has only been just over a week?  I couldn't sleep in my bed the first few days, and Thursday and Friday night again I slept in my chair and I fall asleep in it much easier now.  I could not do that before Nemo died; I'd get too sore or I would wake myself snoring or would twitch. 

Don't worry about writing, unless it helps you.  Just read and feel.  It might help to stay busy, not to avoid grieving but to give your heart and mind something else to do for a moment.  If you're not working, try a favorite activity, a puzzle, listen to music. 

I work at home, and it's tough not having him here with me and taking him out every few hours.  I wasn't gone much, but it IS so hard to come back and he's not here to greet me.  Be gentle with yourself.  You've suffered a great loss. 
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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jonancy
Hi Memos mom

Thank you for your reply

I don't know if anyone is reading anymore about my Scooter, but I have to write this.. I went to the candlelight ceremony last night thinking I would feel better. This morning, I woke up crying, m y husband's crying and we both feel worse than we did. I didn't think that was possible. My eyes feel swollen, I'm starting to second guess myself. I guess it is guilt, even though we had no choice. Scooter was dying right before our eyes so to save him suffering we chose to put him to sleep. But I didn't hold him when they were doing it, my husband had his head in his hands and I had my hand on Scooters back. I was hugging Scooter the whole time until the vet came in with the shot. Why didn't I keep on holding him? I almost walked out of the room, I said I can't do this, but then never left the room and went back and put my hand on Scoots back. Today I keep on thinking his mama wasn'tholding him as he left this world! Why do our thoughts go crazy like this. I know this is an emotional rollercoaster, but I want to get off it! I don't want to forget, just get out of this pain.

Anybody out there reading this, please help if you are able.

Thanks,

Scooters mama

Scooter

It's night time and the day did not get any better for us. We did get a sympathy card from Aunt Sandy that was very comforting. We also have been receiving calls, everyone is so sad honey about what happened. We love and miss you.

Mama


I love and miss you Scooter - always and forever I'll be your proud mama
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jonancy
Hi Scooter

Mama misses you so much. Got a card today from Lori, they all feel real bad too. Mama and Daddy picked up your ashes today, cried for along time, but you are home now. I miss holding you, I told Daddy that since you left I feel so cold. Daddy said it's because you were my little own personal heater always on my lap or beside me. This made me smile, he's right you know. Still can't do any of my usual things like playing Suduko. Remember you use to always nudge the book with your nose and it turned into a game. I'm worried about tomorrow morning because it will be one week since you left us. Please look down and give us strength. I keep on trying to imagine that you are with Sparky and all the other dogs having fun. That's the only way I can get through this. Scoots I hope I was a good mama, You were such a good boy, so loveable. Lori remembered that when Matthew was little you would always stick your nose in his ear to make him laugh. She said Matthew liked that, so did I when you did that to me. I'm going to go now baby, please try to come to me in a dream... I really need that. You know I had a nightmare the other night. Sunday its supposed to be only 5 degrees outside I wish I had my little personal heater.

Love you always and forever my little Scooter

Mama

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jonancy
Scooter

One week ago today our world came to a screeching halt. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did. Were you in pain and we didn't know? My head is going nuts with all different questions about that day. I thought we were going to be taking you home, we didn't know honey. We always took you to the doctor, mama and daddy is so sad. I wish I could hold you again, mamas arms are empty. I bought a book today to try to help me get through losing you, so far its hard for me to read. I don't have my little guy to watch general hospital with... People would think I am nuts but you always knew when it came on, you would be by my side and watch and listen. I'm trying to remember the good times we had and we had many, but the sadness is keeping me from doing this very much.

Our life has changed dramatically and every morning Mama cries. I still say good morning to you,,, I hope you can hear me. Every night I say goodnight too and say to myself the little jingle I said to you too. Everyday I ask for strength to get through this, God know I am angry, but I want to believe he knows why and will forgive me.

You were a handsome, adorable, playful and loving boy.... I'll never forget you baby


Always and forever, your mama
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jonancy
Hi Scooter

I wasn't able to write for a long time, it hurts too much to do so. It's been two weeks today honey, and it's not any easier. I'm going through the motions of life, but I still cry everyday and night for you. I hope you hear me every night say "goodnight" to you. Home isn't the same without you, life isn't the same without you. You know mama loves to scrapbook, so I decided I'm going to do a scrapbook about you. Won't be able to do it for awhile though, I'll cry too much now.

I'm trying to imagine you running with Sparky having a good time. A friend saw a picture of us taken several months ago, Anne said you look so happy. I said I was then, right now I can't imagine ever being happy again.

My gut is hurting again from missing you so much and having trouble typing through my tears.

I hope you hear me talking to you, I think about you all the time.

Love and miss you so so much!!

Mama
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