SilentBotts
     After a month long battle with pancreatitis FIBD/intestinal cancer, this past Sunday I had to help my best friend of 15 years move on. 

     Her name was Hermoine, a tuxedo short-hair.  Very much a puppy cat.  She'd follow you from room to room, friendly with everyone, loved belly rubs.  She'd been with me since college, through five moves and three cities. 

     She had stopped eating and drinking on her own and we exhausted every thing to try and get her going again.  This past weekend she finally just hit that point where the number of bad days had become greater than the number of good and her quality of life was continuing to decline in spite of everything we were doing for her.

     Her actual passing was strangely the easiest part, our vet was great throughout her being sick and was amazing when it was time to make the decision to help her move on.  They made it as easy as possible and gave us all the time we needed to say goodbye.

    I'm at work now and all day I've known that when I get home today it's going to be the first time that she isn't going to great me at the door.  I'm heartbroken.  There's this profound absence in the house.  Yesterday afternoon and this morning every time I went into a room I reflexively looked for the cat, and each time after about a second remembering I'm not going to find her.  I keep looking at her favorite spots, and she's not there.  Every time I see a dark spot out of the corner of my eye for the first second or two I think it's her.  I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something, and I then I realize because it's time for one of her feedings or time to give her meds/fluids.  I'm so used to her getting in my face with everything I'm doing, following me around, begging for food, licking every damn plastic bag in the house.  I just don't know what to do, she was such a big part of my day to day.  I don't even want to be in my house.  I can't even describe the grief, I just miss her so much.



    
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Toulajit
Do you have a photo of her that we can see :)

I'm very sorry for your loss. You gave her a long life and so much love, obviously. That is the best we can do.
I lost my Lubilly (Lulu) in May. It was a sudden death...no clue what happened. She was 4.5 years old and healthy as can be. Showed no signs of anything weird...ate, drank, played and then I woke up one morning and she was dead on the living room floor. No matter how old or the reason, when these furbabies leave us, it's heartbreaking.
But you gave her a full and happy life and I hope that comforts you some day.
I can't say that same thing to myself. I didn't have the mental strength to get an autopsy done. I figured no matter what the cause, I would blame myself.
Hopefully one day you will get to a point where you want to rescue a cat at your local shelter. I did that and it helped alot. But they can never be replaced...
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SilentBotts
Kitty.png 
 This is her last Christmas on her Jabba the Hutt Pillow.

Thank you, I'm sorry for your loss also.  It's hard not knowing what it was. 
I'm glad that I was able to help her and at least give her some more happy days.  She remained very affectionate right up until the end, she clearly knew I was upset.
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Toulajit
Ahhhh what a cool cat. She was very lucky to have been given such a great life. I know people that don't even let their pets sit on their couches! And she had her very on pillow on yours 😂. That is awesome. She is beautiful and I bet she's with you right now nudging you and trying to tell you she's happy and not in pain anymore. You did everything you could to keep her alive...some people wouldn't even do that. There are too many out there that just give up, can't or won't spend the money on treatments and just put their pet to sleep. You didn't give up and that says alot about how much she was loved. If you find that it's hard to move on, try adopting one. I know I said that before but I swear it saved me. I am way too emotionally attached to my cats because I lived on my own for so long and they are what I came home to everyday. So when Lulu passed I couldn't cope. Saving a kitten that I named Zorn was a great choice for me and I think she led me to him...so weird I can't even explain it.
RIP Hermoine..you were such a pretty lady 😍
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jeffreyburcham
I said goodbye to my special kitty girl of 18 years back in 2008. Although that sadness has gotten better, having to say goodbye to my Lab girl on June 1, 2017 brought not just the memories of Sparkle back but my other pup girl Gizmo who was with us every bit of 17 years and that was in 2009. I still have three boys but not having my Satin Marie lab girl has been the hardest. 

Your Hermoine was a very beautiful girl. My Sparkle kitty looked very similar to her. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 
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Marie123
Hermione is adorable! Love the name btw. I'm so sorry about your losing her. I lost my 2 oldest cats, Raven and Geronimo, within 7 months and it's so hard! Like your vet, mine was very kind, professional and sympathetic through Raven's illness and when it was time to say goodbye to her. Geronimo passed away at home, very suddenly., probably a heart attack or stroke. When someone has been such a huge part of your life for so long, saying goodbye can be hard. Having a vet who understands can make a big difference.
Hermione looks so cute sitting on her Jabba the Hutt pillow! She clearly was loved very much!
Blessings to you 🐱
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gansett8
Looks so much like my cat that suddenly passed away yesterday. So very sorry for your loss. 
James 
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Marie123
Aawww I'm so sorry about your baby too, gansett8. It's just awful losing a loved one. Young or old, after a long illness or very suddenly, it's never going to be easy. I hope you both are doing as well as can be expected.
Blessings and prayers 🐱🐺
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SilentBotts
Hi Everyone,

Thank you all so much for the support.  It's been a rough week.  I'm starting to be able to think about her with a smile but I definitely have periods of pretty intense grief still.
A co-work has been hand raising a litter of kittens for the rescue she volunteers at.  They came up for adoption this week I've decided to adopt two of them.  I planned on waiting longer, but it feels right.  I'm hoping that some activity in the house and being able to put some energy and affection into the new guys will help me accept Hermione's passing.
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carmens_mom
Dear Michael, What a beauty Hermoine is!  I too love the name!  And the picture of her on the green pillow is outstanding - such a wonderful contrast with the black tuxedo markings.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  From your post, it's so obvious you gave her a very special life and helped her all the way to her transition to Rainbow Bridge.  I agree with you about it being hard to come home knowing our babies won't be there.  After I got my Carmen, she was often the only reason I would come home, because I knew she would be there, happy, dancing, making me giggle.  It's really hard after they are gone.  Take care of yourself - and I wish you the best of luck with your two new additions!  They don't know yet, but they soon will,  just how lucky they are to have found such a wonderful pet parent such as yourself.
My warmest regards,  Carmen's and Gigi's mom - alicia
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Marie123
Blessings you for deciding to open your hwart, arms and home to these precious new babies! If you feel it's the right thing to do, you can bet that Hermione is the one guiding your heart. She knows that these little ones, who so badly need a home, will have a great one with you! What a beautiful gesture to continue Hermione's legacy!
Good luck with the new babies and keep us all posted! 🐺🐱
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Toulajit
That is so awesome! You will see, it does help. You are not replacing her, you are saving 2 lives and giving these babies a loving home. Many blessings, prayers, and warm thoughts to you and your family :)
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Denny


so sorry to hear of your loss. We lost out Annie Lou choco lab last July, she was 13 and had a lot of health problems. we just didn't want to see her keep suffering although we didn't want to her to go. but we had her put to sleep, it was the hardest thing Ive ever done. i still think of her and cry. i miss her so badly at time. we have another black lab that just turned 14 he's doing pretty good. There are not words to say that can comfort you much only time will heal all wounds. How much time i don't know. i pray that my Annie will always live in my heart, and that your dear one will too live in your heart. I know right now life seems so empty, and coming home too feels a loss of emptiness. just hang in there. if you have a friend that would understand talk with them, only another pet lover will understand. In time you'll think of you friend and all the things that made you laugh, the good times, and closeness. and you
with a teary eye small once again.
you're in my thoughts and prayers Denny  



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