Hi mflb, I'm so sorry for your loss of Max. 20 years is a long time. our furbabies are family members and we do everything for them- I would guess you were Max's fav since he chose your room at the end... my Wizberry was 18 when he left and he was with us for 16.5 years from the time I trapped him outside.
You are so lucky that Max was with you for so long. It is going to take time to start to recover, go easy on yourself. I also think of Wiz' last day and everything to do with his illness/treatment. Was it the right time, was he ok with it all of that. There is nothing we can do now but trust that hopefully it was the right decision and we saved them from suffering. When they start having trouble breathing you know they are suffering. His embolism probably went into his lungs. There is no way at his age he would survive all of that as your dvm said. It would be a miracle if he did. Remember that Max is still with you and you can talk to him. I keep wiz pictures by my bed and have a little pillow that is him and now have his ashes still in the tin they put them in by my pillow. I talk to him all the time, so for me he is still here with me although I miss him so very much not being her physically. It's very, very hard. Hugs to you <3
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008 My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012 Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016 My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018