mkwoodrich
I don't know if I can do this.  The guilt I feel is horrible right now.  Like I have failed on so many levels.

I got my Dak on Valentines Day 2004 from my exhusband.  Dak was 3 years old at the time.  Long story short, my ex and I divorced, he stalked my son and me.  To the point we had to go into hiding.  We literally had to pack in the middle of the night, take our clothes and pictures only and Dak. 

We all know when you get a pet it is a lifetime commitment.  But, sometimes life happens.  When my son and I had to flee from my exhusband I couldn't keep my Dak.  My mother took him though, so he stayed with family.  My son and I were in hiding for nearly a year until he went to prison.  I have never forgiven myself for leaving Dak, that was 2 1/2 years ago.  My mom had heart issues and Dak was older.  So once my son and I were safe and able to have Dak back we decided to let him stay with her.  But still, regret was always with me, like I failed him and my son.

It was decided today that it is time to put Dak to sleep this Saturday.  I'm a mess.  I feel horrible it's time, feel horrible that I left him.  In general I'm just not feeling anything great at the moment.  I feel like the biggest failure.  This was my sons childhood pet, my baby too.

He has lived a good life, 11 years is a good life for a boxer.  He has always been loved but I hate myself for having to leave him.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I just needed to get it out.  I'm going to miss him and know that Saturday and the weeks that follow are going to be extra hard on me now.

Loved you yesterday. Love you still. Always have. Always will.
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mario8

mkwoodrich,

                  I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through such a rough ordeal in your life. In sounds like Dak was loved and had a great life between you and your mother taking care of him. I lost my 8 year old Boxer Dec 28,2011 so I feel your pain. You are right in that 11 years is a good life for a Boxer. Please dont feel guilty because you did what you had to do for you and your son's welfare. Try and hang in there and know that you did everything you possibly could for all involved. Take care and GOD bless.

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td
My heart goes out to you. But understand that Dak was well taken care of by your mother.  You should not feel guilty.  It was fate that Dak is apart of your life and cherish those moments you have together.  His life could have been worst if you did not welcome him into your home when he was 3 years old.  You have given him a chance to be loved and shared his love with you and your family.  Good luck mkwoodrich.--just know that Dak loves you and knows that you love him, he would not want to see you unhappy. 
Love is Eternity.
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mkwoodrich
mario8, thank you for your kind words.  Boxers are such a great breed, I have been so blessed with 3, Bandit passed back in 1999-2000 ish, Dak is leaving this Saturday and Sophie is only 4 so I hope to have many years with her.

My issue I am having now is Sophie is my kids dog, she is great, but I've never fully bonded with her like I did with Dak.  And I think with some pets you bond more with some than others.  I think I had to much regret for having to give him up, no matter the circumstances behind it.  And in the last 24 hours I've told myself when our lab Angel and Sophie pass I'm done with animals.  I can't handle this pain again, it is just way to much for me.

It shouldn't be fair to love this much and hurt this much. I know the pain will pass as it did when Bandit passed but it hasn't happened, I'm just dreading Saturday and I know the pain will be so raw for a long time.

Loved you yesterday. Love you still. Always have. Always will.
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Helen

My heart aches for you and I will be praying for you this Saturday. I had to put my little girl to sleep 81/2 months ago so I can feel your pain and I understand where you are coming from. I have a thread called A story I need to tell about Tinkle and in there I post poems and stories about my baby and have just posted one where a dog is talking about going to the bridge. It might comfort you a little to read it.

You love Dak and he loves you. Remember, you are giving him the greatest gift any loving furparent can give - you are giving him peace.

God bless you.

Tinkle's Mummy

Tinkle's photo is in the avatar

Please visit Tinkle at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TINKL001/resident.htm

For all the joy you've given me,
For the glory days gone by,
My best and final gift, my baby,
I give you wings to fly.
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mario8

mkwoodrich, believe me I understand how you bond more with certain animals. The bond I had with my Max was one of a kind and I cant see myself ever having that kind of bond ever again. I also have had 3 Boxers and many other breeds as well so I totally understand. What you are going through is very normal and all of us animal lovers totally understand. We are all here for you. GOD bless.

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heartsick
We ALL understand her and we will ALL be here for you
whenever you need us.
My Thoughts are With You.
Susan(heartsick)
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Gen
mkwoodrich, my heart aches for you today, as it will tomorrow...my thoughts & prayers are with you & Dak & your son.
 First & foremost you NEED to know...you NEVER failed your dog. Even though you couldn't always be with him...you always loved him & didn't just get rid of him. You DID what you thought was best & safest for everyone. I am CONSTANTLY asking God why he gave Mackenzie cancer & why she only got less than a month after being diagnosed, but the thing is, God gives us situations, sometimes REALLY UNFAIR ones...and it is up to us to figure out God's message in them. Your story about you ex is devastating & having to give your baby away, but you got to give him to someone you know would love him...you came back for him, made the best decision for him by letting him stay & love your mom, bc she needed him too. You never failed, you gave Dak the ability to love MANY people, to touch many lives.
You will love Dak til his very last breath & forever after, and for that, you can NEVER fail him!

Knowing that I was going to have to put Mackenzie to rest was one of the worst feelings ever. And it took me a couple of weeks, but I have come to realize, it was also one of the most unselfish, loving things I could ever do for her. What you are being faced with tomorrow is horrible & unfair...but DO KNOW you are giving Dak one last unselfish gift of love: Peace and freedom to Run & Play & Love without illness.

My thoughts will be with you ALL,
Gen
Missing Mackenzie
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