Jish
today’s been rough. i recently moved and went to grab the rest of my stuff from my old house. i was originally planning on bringing my dog’s old bed because i wasn’t ready to get rid of it. my aunt didn’t want me to because there’s probably bugs on it from being in the garage, she had a point. it kinda pushed me to let go of it more...

when everyone left, i went in alone to say goodbye. not to the house, more of the memories of him. it was super hard. i think i spent an hour just crying on the floor. every time i think of him i can only picture his last days.

i went to say goodbye to him and the bed in the garage but it didn’t feel right. i know i left his bed in the garage for over a year but it felt wrong to keep it locked in there.
i took his bed out and put it in the spot he used to always lay out and placed his teddy bear on top.(picture below)
i was very sad looking at it but i couldn’t look away at how empty his bed was.

in a blurred vision i also went and opened the blinds for him one last time, so he won’t be left in the darkness...
it was like saying goodbye to him all over again and knowing I would never see that ever again.

it felt wrong, it felt like I was leaving him behind but I know I wasn’t. it was like i was setting him free from the house as crazy that might sound.

i know everyone tells me he’s always with me in spirit and in heart, but to me he’s just gone and there’s a piece of my heart missing.

i wish i could talk to more people who understand. my family never says anything when i talk about him, they all dismiss me and ignore it like they didn’t loose a beloved pet too.
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GBs_Mom
Hi Jish. I'm very sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. The way you wished to remember him and "set him free" as you said speaks to how close a bond you felt with him. I sympathize with your feelings about moving and leaving his stuff behind. I had to move soon after my cat died and let go of a lot of her stuff. I didn't feel ready at the time and felt like I was leaving her behind. With time I accepted that the apartment was just an apartment and the cat house and toys were just stuff, and what is important is carrying her memory with me. I hope that you will find some peace in time as well, although I know that it is difficult right now.

I'm also very sorry that your family doesn't understand or want to talk about your dog. People experience grief differently, and they may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about him. Everyone on the forum has experienced a loss, and there are a lot of posters who are very good at offering support. I hope that you'll find some comfort in posting and interacting with others here.
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