QueenLauraBee
I arrived home from a week long cruise vacation yesterday morning. My father picked up both my boyfriend and I from the hotel. About 3/4 the way home father breaks the dreadful news to us that there was an incident while we were gone. Involving our 1 year old German shepherd and 16 year old kitty Calvin. My surroundings blurred, surrounding noises started breaking up and my heart screamed all at once. Father said the emergency veterinarians tried all they could to save my sweet Calvin. Through tears he also presented me with a post it note with a local kennel business written on it. It was as if I experienced shell shock. There's no way this can be happening. My sister was tending to the animals Monday - Saturday and everything was supposed to be smooth. It occurred the Monday night we left. I always worry regardless so whenever the opportunity presented itself I would call or text message everyone back home asking "how are the animals?". I understand why no one in my family told us sooner because it would have been a living hell being hundreds of nautical miles out and not having any power. We have other cats and one medium collie/lab mix female 6 year old rescue dog as well. The dogs have never been aggressive towards our kitties. They've always had enough common sense to realize the claws will come out while bopping them on their snouts. At this moment in time I'm not ready to read through my care credit statement. My Calvin must have frightened and wondered where I was. All the moments he was there for me. I can't help but feel overwhelmed with guilty sorrow knowing I had no power over this situation. When we arrived home I took 4 steps into the house and dropped to my knees while crying out "why...what did he do to deserve this...all he ever does is eat/sleep and gaze out the windows..this cannot be happening" I feel as if any moment now Calvin will walk through a doorway and end this nightmare. I've experienced losing a pet before but this is a situation I'm having a hard time with. My sweet Calvin is gone and our dogs are the root of the problem. Was it perhaps a separation issue? Was it some animal instinct? Either way I try to process this I'm left in tears. When work, school, financial situations or car issues didn't go as planned Calvin was always there for me. Every moment I needed extra comfort Calcin never hesitated. He always sensed when I was upset or cold. Plus he slept beside me for as long as I can remember. I'm in for a rough next few days as I grieve for him. Still I can't help feeling guilty over the fact that this tragedy occurred and I had no power...all the moments Calvin was there for me and I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I was out on a ship laying by a pool drinking while my best friend was fighting for his life. After the medical expenses are taken care of I will be set back financially for a few months. He is being privately cremated this week. Friends and family have asked "What are you going to do with the dogs" and suggested obedience school. Even if I entertain that idea what of my other kitties? What of the tragedy that occurred with my Calvin? He was SO precious and deserved better. I adore my animals more than some humans care for their own children. I live an honest hard working life and the one time I think it's okay to go on a vacation this happened. I will miss him terribly. Sleeping is going to be impossible without my big lug. All my tears and prayers won't bring him back however I just wish I could see him walk into heaven. The Angels will adore him as I did.
Laura Boggs
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camunki
Laura I am so sorry for the loss of your Calvin, words cannot even say how you must feel. Yes, powerless, you did not cause the incident to happen only God knows why it did happen.  The grieving path is a hard one, when we lose our pets, and yes they are like our children. My pets mean more to me than some people do, the unconditional love they give. Please keep reading posts on this site & know that you are not alone........

Cam


 
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Ell99
Oh Laura what a really sad story I am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Calvin. Feeling your pain. Thinking of you .i wish I knew what else to say . There are so many lovely people in this forum to help you at this very sad time . I have been a mess since losing my kitty 3 weeks ago xx
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Sampson
Hi Laura, You mentioned that your German Shephard dog is only one year old. I'm wondering what happened. Was it play that became too rough as this is a very young dog. I would try not to make any decisions until you feel a bit more calm. It might have simply been a tragic accident that could have happened at any time even if you were out for a short while. Don't beat yourself up for going on a vacation. You had no way of knowing what would happen. Hindsight as they say is 20/20 and it would be nice if we all had that but unfortunately we don't. Having said that, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved Calvin and the pain you are feeling. My deepest condolences!
S.
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QueenLauraBee
Thank you all for the kind words. When your heart aches, its soothing to know you aren't alone in this. Animals are so much more than pets. Calvin was an incredibly vocal and dramatic cat so adjusting to the silence is going to be hard.
Laura Boggs
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winstonsmom12
Laura  Please accept my condolences on your losses.  You are in no way alone in your grief.  I lost my Winston 3/2/16.  I think about him everyday, and cry at the most unexpected times.  Ell99 is so right.  There are always people here to help you through your grief and pain.  Please come here often.  It really does help.  Blessings  Sue
Susan
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