this adorable dog, Labradoodle, came into a bar and I just had to go over and pet him.  I asked the owner his name and she said Buddha (my late kitty too), My eyes got teary eyed, I tired to fight it, but couldn't.  I hope to see them again so I can rub buddha's belly for luck. 

After I reviewed medical records for my loves, I was feeling better about doing the 'right thing' (like there is such thing).

That night I dreamt that I was hallucinating about seeing my loves again.  Buddha curled up as always and gave him a little rub.  She was stealthy wondering if I was going to pick her up, she didn't like that. But no way was I going to let her get away, hallucination or not.  I pet her little head, it was so strange that it felt just like it always did and i hadn't even been thinking about. I had forgotten I thought her head was small and fragile.   

This isn't the sort of thing that I thought would happen to me and for whatever reason, I feel like I got one more moment with them. 

healing vibes to all
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amazing... im so glad u got to have that moment w ur Bhudda. I have had 3 dreams where I saw Wiley, but the 3rd was the most incredible as I got to hold him and feel his fur and hear him purring again.. it was so surreal and every night I ask him to visit me again.
I will continue to pray for u in healing and that u get to see ur baby and pet her tiny fragile head again xoxo

I have been having a really hard time over my keeten being gone.. thank u for reminding me hes always with me xo

Love, Stacie

"Cats come and go without ever leaving"
-Martha Curtis
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I don't remember my dreams as much as I used, but had another.  I was petting buddha and though he seemed so thin, something I tell myself to make me feel better about my decision.  I hate moving on, I was so happy being their fur mommy, maybe it's a cope out of life, but I don't care. 
I still get swallowed up by the grief, so much guilt, facing the empty future (people suck) and living with decisions i've made because of them...ugh.  Even if I could get a new pet, the thought terrifies me.   My worst fear was something happening to me, leaving them to the shelter.  I also couldn't bear to leave them with full time work.  At least there is some relief.  

They have a way of slowing down time and wanting to make the most of it.  I'll be a crazy old cat lady in no time. C'mon lottery!
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Thank you for posting on my Sophie's thread. I'm sorry for your loss. I know your kitty had wonderful life with you. You are so much caring person. 
You wrote in a another thread: "I know we purposely center our lives around them, not realizing one day our center will be gone leave us lost." 
I really agree with you and I hope our pets waiting for us at Rainbow Bridge.

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ty Liza,
I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you.   I find mediation helpful as well. Allow thoughts to come and go without reaction, focus on your breathing.  I encourage you to keep talking about your experience, not necessarily here, but somewhere.  If you still hurt so much you probably gave them the best life, do your best to keep all memories close, not just the painful ones. Your love and support were far more prevalent in your fur baby's life than what ever happened in the end.  Remember to think of your self as a whole person, not just the flaws. Use the experience for the future.
healing vibes
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