Kaz01
I've just come across this site, as my 4 year old boxer, Sam suddenly passed away 6 days ago, and I'm having a real hard time trying to come to terms that he is not coming back. I went out to run errands and left a normal goofy boxer, I returned 2 hours later to a dog who didn't even know who I was..he ten started to have seizures really bad, but we couldn't save him..I'm destraugt right now.
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Beesmom123
Kaz01
I am so very sorry for your loss! So difficult to lose a companion and at such a very young age and with no warning. Life isn't fair and it's so hard to imagine life without them.
Everyone here can relate to what you are going through.
I hope you can find some comfort in the happy times you spent together.
Take care,

Diana


Bee- "Good night sweet prince & flights of angels see thee to thy rest"
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tml81573
Hi Kaz, how are you holding up today?  I know that for me, it is so hard to get the images of him seizing out of my mind.  That is NOT what I want to remember.  This is day 4 for me without my lovely Doppler.  It is the weirdest things that still make me cry, like today realizing there was less silverware in the dishwasher, because I am not using multiple utensils a day to dish out his food.  I went for a walk yesterday, without him.  I wore my sunglasses and allowed myself to freely cry.  I talked to him, apologized to him for having to make the decision we did, told him how much I loved him.  Asked him for a sign.  Don't know if I'll ever get one, but it felt good to talk to him.  
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Kaz01
Hi tml81573,

I'm doing ok I guess. How are you doing?. Sam was so special to me, I did not expect him to leave me at the age of 4, and suddenly without any warning.. I'm like you I can't get those images out of my head, I feel so guilty in putting him to rest, I feel like it's my husbands fault as he should have got home from work quicker than he did, is that so wrong of me to blame him?. I have cried every day, it's the 7th day for me. I now have his ashes, to which I talk to everyday.

How old was Doppler? I'm so sorry for your loss too, but I'm glad I found this website, hopefully it will help us get through what we are experiencing right now.

Take care, I'm thinking of you.

Karen
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tml81573
Hi Karen, 

I am hanging in there.  I only cried a couple of times today.  I understand your pain at losing Sam at such a young age.  He should have lived so much longer.  I would be very upset at that as well.  I was upset that Doppler was only around 10, when he should have lived to 14 or 15.  I lost all those possible years with him.  

The guilt will ease.  I know that you want to put the blame somewhere, that is natural.  I don't think that with the state Sam was in when you found him, not even knowing you, it would have made much difference.  I think the damage was already done by then.  I wondered too about Doppler to the vets sooner.  A friend of mine who works at an animal hospital said that when the seizures are that severe, the seizures are secondary to something much more serious going on.  Boxers are one breed most susceptible to brain tumors.  That is a fact I came across when researching.  I too want answers and to put the blame somewhere.  

We will get through this.  Hugs

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Kaz01
Hi, I'm sorry what is your name? I'm glad you're doing a little better today. I cried a few times today too, it's just going to take time and all we both can do is take one day at a time, we have to remember the good times we had with our fur babies... Is tarted dancing in the house to some music that came on and sam used to jump off sofa and bounce around me as if he were dancing, then I suddenly stopped and cried nc he wasn't there with me...

But you know what it doesn't matter about how old they were, they are our fur babies who we loved like children..

Take care and sending hugs your way

Karen
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tml81573
Hi Karen, I'm Theresa - Glad to hear that yesterday was a little better.  I am getting better too.  I think once we get through everything that we did brings back memories of our pets at least once, it is going to hurt.  Ran into one of my neighbors yesterday who lost a dog a few months ago.  Talking about it to her had us both in tears.  He is still on my mind as soon as I wake up.  I keep hearing sounds that remind my of the sudden jerking movements when he would start a seizure and I have to rum to see what it was.  This morning it was the cat bathing himself behind the blinds.  
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Kaz01
Hi Theresa',

I can't talk to anyone I know yet, I usually just burst into tears, I cried this morning as I was looking at his pics, what a handsome young guy he is.. I miss him terribly, but I know he's happy, probably playing with Doppler, as he loved to play. I'm also glad that I kept his ashes, it just feels like, well for me anyway that he is still here with me.

You take care now, hope today is a little easier for you.

Karen
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ppowell
Thank you for your kind words for Starla. Losing a dog that did not have a chance to live out their full life is just awful. It seems Sam is in this catagory with my Starla. It's been 5 days, I keep thinking she will come walking into the room like she always did. She was such a sweet girl and really funny too! I like the pic. you posted, Sam looks happy! He obviously loved you very much. I have not cried as much today BUT have severe anxiety and butterflys in my stomach. I just don't know what to do withiout her. All week I could not wait to get home after work so I can be alone. I pace around the house, talking to Starla and asking if she is O.K. I hope we both find some peace this weekend.
Patricia P.
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Kaz01
Hi Patricia, how are you doing today? Hopefully a little better. You are very welcome, I think it's comforting that we can say these nice thing to each other, he's it is awful when this happens to our precious babies, it's been 10 days now for me, and my heart still aches for him, as yours does for Starla. I believe that they are both very happy, pain free and playing together.
I cried yesterday, as I look at his pics everyday and I talk to him, but I do have wonderful memories of him as I'm sure you do too.

Sending hugs

Karen
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ppowell
I live in a condo building and most of the neighbors knew Starla. Over a period of time, they got to know her as we would encounter them on our daily walks. Today, I saw a couple of them and of course they asked if she was feeling better. Then I have to tell them what happened and I start crying. I think I have kind of "stuffed" a lot of my feelings the last couple of days. I hope you are getting some sleep? I agree it is comforting to talk to others here. There are a lot of very sad stories...Have you spoken with/to Sam today? The 48 hours prior to Starla's passing I talked to her a lot, I read that even thought they are sick, our voices soothe them. I am sure that Sam and Starla are both watching after us where ever they are.
Patricia P.
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Kaz01
Hi Patricia,
It is so,normal to cry when people ask you about Starla, it's been 13 days since sam passed away. And I cried yesterday, just realizing that he is not going to come back and I'm never going to see him again, except photos of him, even writing this I started to tear up, I miss him so much. I do talk to him everyday and I always will he was so special to me.
I hope things are getting easier for you, thinking of you.

Hugs
Karen
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jaschutz
Karen,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Sam. I had to put my dog London down about a month ago and she was only 8 years old. I feel like I was robbed of more years of happiness we could have spent together. I can only imagine how much harder it is to lose a pet at 4. The biggest struggle I had after losing London was coming to terms with why this happened. You ask yourself why these horrible incidents happen to such wonderful and loving creatures. I'm here to tell you that there is no reason. Death is, unfortunately, a part of life and I don't know that there is ever a reason for losing the ones that we love. I think once I realized that, it was a little easier to come to terms with losing London. It's early in your grieving process, but I've started focusing on one happy memory of London each day to look at the positive instead of the negatives and missing her. When you feel like you can start focusing on the happy memories, I think it will help you get through the days. Until then, just take it day by day. Every day that you make it through is a victory. And coming on here when you are feeling down or hopeless can bring some comfort as well. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
Jamie

You can visit London's memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/LONDO001/Resident.htm
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Kaz01
Hi Jamie, I'm so sorry for the loss of London,
My Sam was a normal happy dog 2 hours before this happened, but I'll never know now why this happened to him, he had his whole life ahead of him... But having to make that awful decision of putting him to sleep was the worse decision I have ever had to make, I'm still wondering if I should have done more to save him, I am riddled with all this guilt...

I am glad you are accepting what happened to London, I will in time,

Hugs
Karen
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