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Graceb1

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Reply with quote  #1 
My sweet kitty Theo had to be put down yesterday morning. He was only 3 years old. He suffered a condition called saddle thrombus... for those who don't know, this is the term for a blood clot that lodged itself in the main artery in the back where it forks to both hind legs, an area called the saddle. It is often the first and only sign of underlying heart disease. This is every cat owner's nightmare...It happened within minutes. One minute he was perfectly fine. The next he was vomiting and losing his balance. I thought maybe he had injured himself or ingested something he shouldn't have... a couple minutes later his back legs were immobile. He was dragging himself across the floor and defecating himself... he was heavily panting and crying in pain. We rushed him straight to the emergency vet and they gave him pain relievers and started him on a blood thinner right away, but there was nothing more we could do. In the morning when we came back, his legs were stiff and cold and he lost all control of his bowels and bladder. He was terrified and in immense pain. Our only option was euthanasia. In about 12 hours my precious boy went from healthy and strong and happy to lifeless on a metal table. I'm still in shock and feeling immense grief for my boy. I had no time to prepare for this loss. I am angry and I feel guilty for not knowing something was wrong. But he showed no signs. We rescued him and his sister at 2 weeks old. We bottle fed and weaned him. I had a bond with him that I cannot describe. The way he died was horrifying and I'm having a hard time coping and returning to my routine... I miss him so much. My home doesn't feel the same without him. Has anyone else been through this? How do you cope and return to your daily life after something like this?

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Carterna

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Reply with quote  #2 
I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat, 3 years just isn’t long enough. I had to have my baby Charlie put down at the weekend he was 5 but only in my life 3 years and it doesn’t feel fair. He had a bad reaction to some anaesthesia whilst at the vets after appearing to be getting better so it came as a shock to me as I was convinced he was going to come home.
You have to remember you did all you could for Theo, you loved him and gave him a good home and you were there for him at the end when it mattered.
Even though I have two other cats my home also feels empty I keep going to charlies bowl to put food in and expect him to run through the door any moment.
It’s helped me to find this forum and seeing that there are so many people who have gone through the same thing so I hope you find some comfort here. I’m thinking of you and hope the pain eases with time, always here if you need to talk about Theo as I’m finding that helps too.
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Graceb1

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Reply with quote  #3 
Carterna I'm so sorry for your Charlie. I also have two other cats, including Theo's sister/ litter mate Gwendolyn. I'm grateful I still have her, but she is grieving the loss of her brother, too. And since this could be a genetic problem, I now have to worry for her, as well. She is going to the vet tomorrow so we can begin monitoring her heart.
We keep the cat food and their bowls in a plastic tote... his bowl is still sitting in there, with some dry food in it that he didn't finish. I can't bare to dump it out or take the bowl out. Only laying out two food bowls has been so difficult every time I do it. the chair where he liked to sleep is still covered in his hair. I usually vacuum the furniture every week but I can't do it. The blanket at the end of my bed that he liked to curl up in hasn't been touched... There are still so many traces of him around this house and I can't bring myself to erase them. I feel like I have lost a piece of my heart.
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Carterna

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Reply with quote  #4 
I hope it goes well at the vets with your Gwendolyn she must be feeling very lost without her brother. One of my other cats Toby keeps trying to find Charlie as they were inseparable and it breaks my heart.
I feel it’s completely normal to want to keep memories of your cat around your house. I’ve found some fur of Charlie’s in a brush and have kept it together with his bowl and favourite toy and I’m going to get some of his photos printed so I can frame them sort of like a little memorial.
Maybe you could do something like that for Theo if you think it will help, but try and remember all the good times you had together
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Missmysweetboy

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Reply with quote  #5 
Theo's mom,
I am so incredibly sorry your beautiful Theo and you had to go thru that. I can't imagine the horror. My lovey kitty Buddy died suddenly 4 mos ago from heart disease . I am so thankful it did not culminate in saddle thrombus. My heart aches for you. What a terrible and most times silent feline disease.
I have been trying to cope since my baby guy's passing. It took a few weeks for the utter despair to subside. He is on my mind constantly and I still find myself crying daily. It took me two months to vacuum up his furr and scattered cat litter. I haven't washed the blanket i folded up as a bed for him that he loved and am sleeping under it nightly.
Time,as they say, heals all wounds. I am finding that the pain is lessening with it's passage and I know it will for you too. Hang in there. Lots of hugs to u.
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Graceb1

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Reply with quote  #6 
Missmysweetboy thank you for your understanding and heartfelt words. I am still in the despair stage... but it is getting easier every day. I am keeping myself busy with memorializing his things and picking out an urn for his ashes.
Update: Theo's sister Gwen went to the vet yesterday and her heart is looking good. She doesn't have a murmur, her chambers looked good in the echo imaging, and her proBNP was normal. We will just bring her back every 6 months to a year to keep an eye on it. I don't know what I would do if the same thing happened to her.
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Missmysweetboy

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Reply with quote  #7 
Theo and Gwen' s mom,
That is wonderful news about Gwen. What a relief. I am so glad you are feeling better daily. It is going to take a while to work through the crippling grief but not feeling mired in it like you aren't ever going to emerge , is a very good thing. I am sure you are giving Gwen lots of extra love. That will help you both. Sending hugs your way!
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Graceb1

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Reply with quote  #8 
Today has been hard. It's been 1 week since we lost him. I am just trying to get through the day. I went to the store and got a bunch of new toys for Gwen. She is very grateful. She seems to be returning to her normal goofy self.
I just can't shake the sadness. His energy is missing from my home and it just doesn't feel right. I have been trying to focus on work and chores and trying to keep myself busy, and it has helped, but I just have a constant empty feeling. I'm trying to focus on the fond memories, but when I think of him it's just painful. I hope that soon those painful memories will fade and I'll be left with the happy memories of my sweet silly boy.
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Missmysweetboy

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Reply with quote  #9 
That sadness hovers like a dark cloud as does that empty feeling. One week is such a short time and it is certainly understandable that you are having a hard time. Getting used to life without our babies is so painful. I am still having trouble talking about my boy without ending up in tears. I just miss him so much.

Like you, we have another girl kitty, Panda, who is trying to help us through losing Buddy. She too is a goofball. While not the snuggle bug Buddy was, she is affectionate. She is also smart and ornery and lives up to one of her many nicknames ,Turdy Lou, daily.

Take care of yourself. Sending more hugs your way, Randi
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Missmysweetboy

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Reply with quote  #10 
Graceb1,
Just checking in to see how you are doing.
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Graceb1

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Reply with quote  #11 
I am doing ok. We got his ashes back yesterday. I feel better having him back. We memorialized him on the mantle with his paw print and his favorite toy. I still feel sad when I think of him. But the painful memories are beginning to give way to the happy ones.
I'm glad you have Panda to help you through your grief. It's funny how they seem to know when we need cheering up. The other day I told Gwendolyn I was sad and missing her brother. She turned around with her tongue stuck out at me, made me laugh. She always knows just what to say.
I still cry for him, but I am starting to find my way towards peace with it. I am thankful that we were there when it all happened and that he didn't have to suffer long. And I am grateful for all the joy he brought into my life, even if it was just for a short time. I will always miss him. But I will be alright. Thank you for checking up on me. You have been such a big help to me getting through this.
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