patent123
This weekend proved to be a hard one.  First it was Halloween and originally we had planned to dress our girl up and bring her along.  It was sad making these new memories with our puppy we just got when we had planned that special day with our girl.  Not only was Halloween hard but Sunday was as well.  We had a birthday party for my daughter who turns three tomorrow.  The party went amazing but things changed once we got home.  Our new puppy tried to chew on her new toys.  My daughter doesn't understand he's still learning the difference between his toys and hers.  She instantly started to cry and say no/stop/ why is he mean!?  Once things calmed down she got sad kicked the puppy out of his dog bed (which our old girl used as well ) told the puppy it was her doobs bed not his and she spent the next 30 minutes talking to her "doobs" ashes on the wall.  She told our girl about her party and toys and she lay there snuggled up in the dog bed.  She was determined to sleep in that bed to.  

I feel bad for my daughter.  I'm terribly sad about losing my girl still but I'm an adult I can understand grief and handle it...she's just 3 years old.  Our girl has been gone for almost 2 months now.  I had assumed my daughter would just forget and quickly move on.  How wrong I was...all weekend long she kept asking to take the puppy to the vet and bring her doob home.  She knows our girl died but has no understanding of what death means.  I think she assumes shes just staying at a friends house or something.  She keeps asking for this new puppy to go home she wants a nice dog again.  (she doesn't handle puppy behavior well specially all the biting/jumping)  

I am glad she remembers how special her friend was but I almost wish she would forget so she didn't have to be so sad.  My daughter made up a song about her doob becoming a butterfly so for her birthday I got her a butterfly garden.  You have actual butterfly larvae that you can watch  hatch and everything.  Once they grow you set them free outside.  I thought that might be a nice idea for her...she can think one of them is her dog.   I have no other ideas on how to handle her being sad.  Its hard to answer her questions when she has no understanding of death.
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spiritdog
I feel for both of you. Your present, the butterfly garden sounds just lovely (heck I want one now).

Are there any childrens books on death that you could buy and read to her? Her attachment to doob is very touching. Sounds like the puppy is too much for her right now as she is still grieving.

Heck I am an elder and I won't let this new pup/dog of 1 year play with Side's special toys.

Can you find a grief counselor in your area to talk to about her and maybe get some ideas on what you could do?
If you call hospice places and explain the situation I am sure a counselor would be happy to help you and her. A good grief counselor does not treat human death or pet death any differently, I know as I have one.

It sounds like doobs was a soulmate for your little one, and that it is truly touching.
"People disappoint, dogs never do" - spiritdog

"You MUST be your pets ADVOCATE, if it doesn't feel right walk away." - spiritdog
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patent123
Thank you spiritdog....

I made her a book full of Fairchilds pictures and ones of them together.  She called Fairchild "doob"  so I made this photobook for her.  I write letters each year around her birthday telling her about the year.  The letters are for when shes older and she can have stories from her childhood she may have forgotten.  I got the book to go with the letters but I let her look at it now when she wants to.  I explained to her that her doob is on the wall in her box.   She always says her doobs on the wall now.  I think she understand that shes in this little box in some way.   She begged and begged for another puppy after we let our girl go.  Which is why my mother surprised us with this new puppy.  Unfortunately my daughter doesn't really like the new puppy.  He is another basset hound which is what Fairchild was.  I think my daughter responds well to senior animals.  She senses they need to be taken care of.  She likes holding water bowls, covering them with blankets, and she understands they need a gentle hand.  She responds better to older animals.  This puppy is just to much for her.  I tell her going on walks each night helps him get tired so he plays nice.  Shes learning to enjoy the walks because it makes her new puppy listen better.  I tell her when he gets older he will be calm like her doob was but that doesn't help much. 

Since everything happened my daughter took a family photo of us to daycare.  This allows her to see her Doob anytime she wants to.  She also has a photo of Doob and Santa in her room to look at.  I will have to look into a book about saying goodbye to pets.  Thank you for that suggestion.    


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