RubysMom93
This Saturday will make three weeks that you’re gone and it feels like an eternity. Every week passes by so slowly. God, I’d do anything to have you back with me. I still feel so guilty for making the decision to let you go I just can’t bear the thought of that horrible day. I hope you know just how much I love you and how much regret I feel. I pray the rainbow bridge exists and that when my time comes you’re there waiting for me. I hope you and Smokey are together. I miss you both so so much. Broken-hearted.... please come see me in my dreams. I need you my beautiful girl
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Anguswasthebest
Good lookin pupper there. What happened. I just lost my.boy Angus very similar colours. We lost him saturday he was a pit mix with olde English bulldoge. He died of a heart attack in our yard and we were right there with him. Since then we have filled the house with pictures of him and it has helped a bit. I'm so sorry for your loss. It gets easier day by day and the people on this forum will help. They helped me. And the rainbow bridge definitely exists. Way too many good dogs for it not to


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RubysMom93
Thank you. I’ve been on the forum since the week of her death and I do think it’s been helpful. It’s like a replacement for going to therapy. I’m so sorry for the loss of your guy too. That was a very sudden death and must have been awful for you and your family. I can tell you though that no matter how prepared you may think you are to lose them, you never are. I had a few months to come to terms with and process that I was going to lose Ruby. I though I was kind of prepared but it turns out I just wasn’t. I was feeling extra horrible the other day and just wanted to put that message to her out into the world. I really hope she gets it. I may sound like a nut but I repeat these kinds of things over and over when I’m alone in my car or when I’m doing laundry, basically whenever I’m alone. My Ruby was diagnosed with bone cancer after developing a limp. It was so aggressive and took hold so quickly. Quicker then I expected. I did a ton of online research and tried all different things that I thought would give us more time with her but it just didn’t work out that way. We had a great last two days with her just spoiling the hell out of her with anything she wanted. It got to a point where we’d been carrying her up and down the stairs for a while and outside to use the bathroom. However, she could still move around and stand on her own for very short periods of time. We were giving her medication to magange her pain and she still seemed happy. I always said as soon as I saw her lose her sparkle and when it got to a point where she was visibly suffering I’d put her to sleep. On Friday night of May 25th it seemed like that time had come. It was a horrible night with her. She was crying on and off throughout the night. The pain medicine only helped to a certain degree even with an increased dosage. It would help for an hour or two and then she was up crying again. When I’d carry her in from using the bathroom urine still seemed to be pouring out of her. I cried with her all night and decided to put her to sleep the next day. I don’t want to relive the whole thing but I wish with all the research I did I would’ve have thought more about alternative methods for euthanasia. Ruby was always petrified of going to the vet and her last conscious moments on this earth were spent in fear. I always read it’s supposed to be a peaceful experience and it just wasn’t for my girl. When they gave her the sedative she suddenly jumped up off the blanket she was sitting on, on the floor. I wish I would have taken her home at that moment. I feel like she was telling me she still wanted to go on and I proceeded to end her life. Don’t get me wrong I know we were coming to the end but since that horrible day I’ve found out that there are vets who will come to your house to euthanize your pet. For a dog who was always so scared of the vets office that would have been a much better way to go. I wish I would have done more research on that end of things before putting my baby girl to sleep. I will never forgive myself for the way she felt that day. Everything felt so wrong. I just pray that she thought she was going home. After she got the sedative I decided to carry her outside because I was thinking of the mental torture she was probably going through at that moment. I think about this so many times throughout the day. I feel like she’s probably felt betrayed by me. The person she thought loved her the most. The person she gave soooo much unconditional love to all these years.
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xxcesarxx
The rainbow bridge definitely exists.
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RubysMom93
🙏
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msweet13
Dearest RubysMom - I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Ruby. I think she is absolutely beautiful!! I am having difficulties these days posting on this site but I just want you to know that I understand every feeling you are feeling. I hope you feel comfort along your journey and that the guilt will give way to the love and care you both shared--because in the final analysis--that trumps all else in life. Be good to yourself. I wish you warm hugs and blessings of comfort.

You'll Meet Me In The Light

I know that you can't see me
but trust me I'm right here
Although I'm up in heaven
my love for you stays near.

So often I see you crying
many times you call my name
I want so much to lick your face
and ease some of your pain

I wish that I could make you see
that Heaven indeed is real
If you could see me run and play
how much better you would feel

But our loving God has promised me
that when the time is right
you'll step out of the darkness and
meet me in the light.

(written by Maureen Bauer)
Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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RubysMom93
Msweet13 thank you so much for your kind words and the beautiful poem. It means a lot ❤️
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RubysMom93
Today is 4 weeks...missing you so much my beautiful girl 💔
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Ginger4256
Awwww I love that picture. So sweet
Boo' s mommy
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RubysMom93
Thank you. It’s just a reflection of who she was, so sweet, our angel and protector.
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RubysMom93
Today is one month to the day since the last time I hugged you, since that horrible day. It feels like forever. Something came over Jordan tonight and he felt the pain without even realizing what today even is. Ruby, we miss you terribly. I think about you constantly and about all the regret I have from that day. It haunts me. Please visit me in my dreams. I just want to see you again so badly even if only while I sleep...my sweet angel girl.
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