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Do you know what a hero you are? Not only to your amazing Rubes...but to people like me?

You gave your beloved pet a great life, I can tell from just looking at him. Know what that means?

Amanda - you figured it out. You did! You have figured the meaning of the best kind of life. You did it!

You inhabited a world without politics ... without cynicism ... without boundaries ... without selfishness. You learned discipline and you were as steady as a rock. You took an innocent little creature and filled its world with happiness - and, dogs being dogs, this one repaid you 1,000,000 times over.

You figured it all out, Amanda. The meaning of life is love. You experienced and wanted real, true, unbreakable love, and you found it.

And you deserved it.

And that makes you a hero to me.
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Happy New Years babies,

The first day of a new year without you. Elle, I can't believe it has been 3 years since your beautiful brave spirit left this world and moved on to your big adventure. Wiliow, 4 months, Ruben 8 weeks. 

This year I hope to be as Brave as you Ella. As Gentle and Warm as my Willow and as Loyal and Perceptive as you, Rubes. What amazing gifts you all brought. I will try to be the person you thought I was and see myself through your eyes.

Blessed be, my sweet angels. Come visit again. I'll know my three black crows when I see them. x
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amanda wrote:

Ruben has been gone for 8 weeks tomorrow and my heart is broken. I light candles for him and our girl Willow who left only 10 weeks before Rubes each night. I have three candles for our three dogs. I tell them I love them and thank them for choosing me. 

Be kind to yourself. The pain is so raw now. It is a difficult road and I am only now getting used to the idea that missing him and grieving for him are my new normal. I cry each day and that is my normal. 

Our boys are worth every tear. You will always love Jonah and he you. Until you meet again. 

I lost my two boys only 10 weeks apart, as well. It's impossible to believe that such a thing can happen. My Edo was 15- a good long life, and I mourn him. My Willie was taken very quickly by lymphoma and he'd never been sick one day in the 4 years we shared. I send peaceful and healing energy to you. 
"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
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Hi babies,

It has been a wee while since I wrote, I talk to you every night, I just didn't feel much like writing. I hope that's OK. I am about to light your candles and turn in for the night but I wanted to write to you first.

I miss you guys. So much. Rubes and Willy, everything is still so new to me, this new normal. And Ellie, you've been gone almost three years but I feel like you're memory has been all tangled up in the past few months. I guess I just have to get used to missing you guys. And I have to remember that I have a thousand and one beautiful memories of my three sweet angels, not just the last ones.

I am so proud of you three and so honoured that I got spend your lives with you. What a blessing. So, as I tuck myself in I will try and remember that. I was blessed for a good long while. 

Sleep well babies. My Ruben, Willow and Ella. To the moon and back and a trip around the stars. 

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