Marina
I can't write about my loss right now. The pain is unbearable; I don't even feel I can go on anymore. I want him back so bad.  Nipper, I love you so much. For 14 years you were my best friend and constant companion. The only thing you ever wanted was to be by my side.  When you left me Friday night you tore my heart out and took it with you. I will never be the same without you. God, please let this pain go away... I can't stand it.

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Bear_Bear
Marina, my heart goes out to you.  Nipper looks like a lovely doggie.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I understand how you are feeling.  I lost my little bear cat Robin Adrian 18 days ago and the sadness and loss are just crushing.  I hope you will find comfort here and fellowship too.  PM me if you need to chat.  I come here way too often so I would probably see your message pretty quickly.
Love, Alicia/Bear's Mom
Robin Adrian "Little Bear"s Mom
Please sign my baby's guestbook?
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/ROBIN001/Resident.htm
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Marina
Thank you so much Alicia.  Reading this forum has helped me tremendously.  Knowing there are others who understand how you feel when you think you must be crazy to be suffering so much is a great relief. Though I have to say these stories make my heart ache so much.  All the love for these beautiful animals and the loss of them saddens me to no end.  i read your story and cried some more. I'm so sorry. Take care and thank you again.
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AnnieBirdseed
Dear Marina

I am really really sorry for the pain I know you're going through.  Your little dog is most adorable and I can see
he was full of personality and as smart as a whip.  It's only natural for you to be grieving and just because Nipper
was a dog and not a person makes no difference.  You loved him and he loved you and he was a big part of your
life for fourteen years, whether he was a person or a dog, you guys shared your lives with each other.  I lost my
cat Purrfect almost six months ago and I still sleep with a fake black cat that feels like him and I also have one of
the grooming wipes I used to clean him with close enough to smell it because it smells like him.  It nearly feels like
he's here with me.  My husband says that's why I'm still grieving for him so hard, because I make believe he's still
around but it's not make believe.  I feel him.  I feel his love and it comforts me.  Love never dies and is as real as
anything else in the world.  Your Nipper is in your heart and I pray God will send him to visit you in gentle dreams.
You are in the very worst nightmare part of grief right now and nothing but time can slowly dull the pain.  Try to
always remember the happy wonderful things about Nipper and maybe one of these days if you're ready, he will
send you another doggie that needs your love. 
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heartsick

I am so very sorry for the loss of your  sweet precious Nipper.

He is absolutely precious. You can see the love and his sweet character just pouring from his eyes.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Bear is my first furbaby  and the soulpuppy of my life. I lost him at 14 also.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

 LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

Grief takes time. It usually takes the whole first year of “firsts” without them to take a true deep breath again. Be kind to yourself. None of this is easy.

When you feel ready you can come back and share your life with Nipper with us so we can get to know him better through you.

I am here for you.

We are all here for you and we care about you and we understand.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

 

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mdoumani
I am so sorry for your loss, I too lost my best friend and tears will not stop falling. I am trying stop the pain but it keeps coming back I cant even look at photos of her right now. I feel for you
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AllysMom
Marina,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Nipper looks like a precious little dog.  I lost my sweet Ally on Aug. 7 and I felt just as you do.  The pain has been unbearable and I would have given anything to have her back with me, even if it was for just for one more day.  I didn't feel that I could go on either because Ally was a huge part of me and that part was ripped out when she died.  I didn't think I would ever stop crying.  I am so glad you found this site where you can talk to others who are experiencing the same loss.  It helped me tremendously to know I wasn't alone.  I still cry for Ally and am right now as I write this, but it does get better.  It takes time and I also think you have to let yourself grieve as much as you need to.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ally's Mom (Karen)
 
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Marina
Annie, Susan, Michelle and Karen I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of support.  I'm in the very pit of despair and hopelessness right now without my sweet boy and I find myself running to this site often for the understanding and kindness you all show. 

It's hard for me to grieve for Nipper since I live with three adults who had no relationship with him whatsoever.  They would think me somewhat unbalanced so I keep it all in until they leave for the day. Then, like a tidal wave it comes out.  I scream for him to come back to me, just wailing and sobbing. 

It was a week ago today that he fell ill. Nipper went from a vibrant, energetic Jack Russell Terrier to lying on his deathbed in a matter of twenty four hours.  No one who met him could believe he was 14 years old; he was so full of life and still looked like a puppy.  Several frantic trips to the vet to save him were to no avail. I lost him three days after he got sick. He had a cancerous mass that showed no symptoms until it killed him.

On the Friday night that he died I had made the decision to take him to the vet for an emergency euthanasia on Saturday.  In the last two hours of his life his breathing became short, rapid and shallow and I couldn't bear to see him suffer like that.  I lay on the floor with him and sang softly to him, told him the stories he always loved to hear (he understands everything I say to him), and kissed him and hugged him and loved him.  He lay there taking it all in, his sweet, sweet eyes gazing at me with so much love.  I prayed to God all the while to take him that night and end the suffering. I so wanted him to get better but it was not to be.

After a couple of hours, my granddaughter came to the door of my room and asked for dinner. I told Nipper I would be right back, just rest Nip and Mama will be back in just a minute. As I rose to leave Nipper struggled to get up too.  He walked alongside me down the hall towards the kitchen but turned off into my granddaughters room. I watched as he bent down and crawled under her bed.  I went to prepare my granddaughter's plate and took a little bite of beef into her room and offered it to him.  He didn't take it of course but I had to try.  I left the beef in front of him, told him I loved him and left to give my granddaughter her food. When I returned to him, not 15 minutes after we first left my room, he had passed.  My darling, precious child had waited until I left him to go and take his last breaths under Rachel's bed.  God answered my prayer to end his suffering but it was oh so bittersweet.  At first I was numb and in shock but relieved to see his suffering end and relieved that I didn't have to be the one to make that decision.  Then it all came at me like a ton of bricks and hasn't let up since. I just want him back. God, please I want my precious Nipper back in my arms.

I come here so much and sob as I read your stories and my heart goes out to each and every one of you.  No one can understand but those that have that special bond with an animal and I thank God for this site. Peace be with you all; you're in my prayers.
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heartsick
Marina I think that is the most difficult thing to get past - the wanting them back.
It hurts more than any words can say and rips us apart and turns us completely inside out.
It is awful. When the reality of it - that they are not coming back in their same form - sets in we sob and wail and scream and cry - and it is better out than in. We have all learned that we can cry in the shower and hide it easier. Eventually that unspeakable pain and yearning turns to acceptance and we begin down the roller coaster path of grief and finding how to live our lives without our main reason for living our lives. None of this is easy but we are all here for you. We know and we care about you.
One day - you probably won't even realized it has happened - you will look at the beautiful pictures of Nipper and find a smile on your face.
There will still be times that the tears come - that takes years for those days to go away and they never completely go away.
Take your time and be kind to yourself and know that we are always here for you.

My Love to You.

Susan


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