Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 1 of 5      1   2   3   4   Next   »
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #1 
I’m so glad I found this site. I’ve owned pets for over 20 years and I’ve lost many, all very painful. But today I lost my handsome Snowshoe Siamese kitty “Big Boy”, and I have never felt pain like this before..my heart is shattered. Big Boy was born on October 18th, 2017. He was the only boy of three beautiful snowshoe kittens. Big Boy was slow to leave the nest, he was the last to open his eyes and walk. Big Boy had a rough first couple of months, he almost died of a respiratory infection but we took him to our vet and got him back to 100% in just a few short days. My Big Boy was a quiet, shy kitty, with the biggest most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen! His personality was like no other. He was very nosy ( lol ) he always had his nose stuck in something smelling of it. Every time I turned on my faucet here he would come running, he loved playing in water! Big Boy would always let me know when he was low on water, he would slide his bowl around the entire dining room and it would make this noise on my floor like nails on a chalkboard haha! He was shy, didn’t socialize much with any other human but myself. He would go to sleep on the couch behind my head and always kept his paws on me, he couldn’t sleep unless he could feel me! Big Boy grew to be the most handsome cat I have ever seen, I can’t get over his eyes. He was an inside cat, along with my others, but enjoyed exploring outside for a couple hours each afternoon when I get off work. Yesterday evening, I called them inside as I do every day before dark. They all came running, but not Big Boy. I looked for him outside for about 30 minutes then came in to shower, I went back out and called him again but he didn’t come. I didn’t panic, Big Boy LOVED the outdoors, and he was always the last to come running. I sat down to watch a movie, thinking he would eventually come scratching at the window for me to let him in, as he always does. A couple hours passed and still no Big Boy. I looked for him a while longer. I finally was able to fall asleep at 2am. This morning when I woke up, I went straight to the door to see if he was waiting for me bc it was raining, he’s terrified of rain and thunder. He wasn’t there. My husband left to go to the store and when he came back he had Big Boy, he had been ran over. I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much in my life. I’ve cried so much today my head and eyes hurt as we speak. I have no idea how I’m going to get through this, my house is empty without his bright eyes. I love animals, always have, but I had a connection with this cat like no other. He was so different, I have 5 other cats and love them all dearly, but he was different. Im so devastated. The “what if’s and shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” are driving me insane. I’ve read over a couple of posts here and I feel for each and every one of you who have lost a pet. I’ve went through his pictures, I’ve cried, but I think what I need most of all right now is to share how beautiful he was, to the world! Anyone who takes the time out to read this, or any emotional support will be greatly appreciated. Rest in Heaven my sweet, handsome Big Boy. I will love you forever and you will always have a piece of my heart with you. Have fun up there exploring big’un!! 🌈

Attached Images
jpeg 6A263CC3-1C15-4A3D-B249-D94D3017F786.jpeg (503.37 KB, 9 views)
jpeg 943FC047-4231-462C-A08F-8FBB4C9AC1E4.jpeg (280.08 KB, 9 views)
png A1E089BE-FB93-414D-90B3-FCA1BBCE08B2.png (899.40 KB, 9 views)
jpeg 469A8185-1914-415C-9046-F96E726D3E82.jpeg (85.23 KB, 7 views)
jpeg B2C133D9-7C80-42CE-AE55-1962CAFF5B2F.jpeg (99.18 KB, 7 views)
jpeg 18FF8930-7031-48C7-B326-D92FB2DE3EAE.jpeg (86.36 KB, 7 views)

0
emjl81

Registered:
Posts: 80
Reply with quote  #2 
Oh my what a beauty!!! I am so sorry for your recent loss. I lost my Kitty 2 days ago and I am going through the same exact thing. Its the same connection. She sat on the couch behind my head touching me too. A love like no other. I also had about 15 cats through out my life and this is the hardest loss I have ever endured. We even lost a dog in 2011 and I dont remember feeling this devestated. I think its rare. I think i will never experience a cat this loving again. She lived in my lap. I miss her so much like you miss yours! You are in the right place im glad like myself you found this group. Its been helping me until i am alone with my thoughts.
__________________
Emily 
0
UliesMom

Registered:
Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #3 
I am so very sorry for your loss!! What a very handsome guy. I totally get that he was unlike any other. My little girl was shy too. All they need to love is to love you. I am sorry that you had such a short time with him. You should have had years and years. It seems like they are never here lomg enough. The eyes have it. Ulie's were green.

Attached Images
jpeg 20171118_115117.jpg (167.31 KB, 5 views)

0
Kai_Baby1

Registered:
Posts: 219
Reply with quote  #4 
So so so sorry for the loss of Big Boy. But know that you were truely blessed to be able to share such a soul level love. Big Boy chose you, yes precious YOU for a reason. Many people miss this amazing connection with an animal but you did  not. Know that Big Boy is still around watching you and knowing your heartbreak. a love so deep does not die, only the body. Please speak words of your love to him and in return you will see the signs.
Blessings, Helena
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you all so much for your kind words! Please bare with me, I’m new to this site so I’m still figuring out how to individually reply to your comments. I’ve only had 5 hours of off and on sleep. I’m up alone, my first morning waking up without him, setting on the couch in my favorite spot, but he isn’t behind me. I’m just setting here crying my eyes out, staring out the window wishing he would jump up in the patio chair and knock like always. I have 5 other indoor cats, but without Big Boy this house feels completely empty! My heart is empty! Everyone around me thinks I’m crazy when I say we had a connection, a soul connection..there’s no other explanation for what I’m feeling right now. To them he was “just a cat” and I have 5 more to fill the void, nothing or no one will ever fill that void! He was so much more than just a cat!! I love each and every single one of my kitties in a different way, bc they all have such different personalities..but Big Boy was just the one with the personality more connected to mine I guess. When I was sad, or stressed, he would stare at me from across the room with those big gorgeous eyes, and as soon as I would make eye contact with him he would run over and jump up in my lap..and purr, oh my God at that loud haunting purr! He loved head butts, my head to his head, and he would just hold it there until I let up! He was absolutely perfect for me! I am so devastated right now and I am sooo sorry that you guys are going through the same hurt..I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy! Thank you all, again, for your kind, kind words..I pray that as each long hour of each long day passes, we will find a little less pain and a little more comfort in their memories.
0
emjl81

Registered:
Posts: 80
Reply with quote  #6 
Yes!! Kai Baby I do believe this. Yesterday morning at 6:30 the time Kitty would be rearing the day I heard a Mourning dove outside my window. I also heard it later in the day when I took out the trash. I looked up the meaning and symbolism of them and they are about mourning a beloved. As I was sitting here just now I saw an image out of the corner of my eye and low and behold a giant mourning dove flew past my window. I believe it is her!! I went out and fed the birds and will try to make it a habit daily like I would give Kitty her treats. In honor and remembrance of my sweet angel.
__________________
Emily 
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #7 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UliesMom
I am so very sorry for your loss!! What a very handsome guy. I totally get that he was unlike any other. My little girl was shy too. All they need to love is to love you. I am sorry that you had such a short time with him. You should have had years and years. It seems like they are never here lomg enough. The eyes have it. Ulie's were green.
Oh my!! What a beautiful girl and what big gorgeous green eyes! I’m so sorry for your loss! You know, until Big Boy, I had only ever had outgoing, friendly to everyone, spunky, cats. His sweet, shy, innocent personality is what won me over. And you’re right, they only need one to love, and that one was me, I just wish I could have saved him.
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #8 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emjl81
Yes!! Kai Baby I do believe this. Yesterday morning at 6:30 the time Kitty would be rearing the day I heard a Mourning dove outside my window. I also heard it later in the day when I took out the trash. I looked up the meaning and symbolism of them and they are about mourning a beloved. As I was sitting here just now I saw an image out of the corner of my eye and low and behold a giant mourning dove flew past my window. I believe it is her!! I went out and fed the birds and will try to make it a habit daily like I would give Kitty her treats. In honor and remembrance of my sweet angel.
I’m so sorry for you! I think I’m too in denial right now to notice the signs, but my husband pointed out when we buried Big Boy yesterday, out of nowhere, a strong gust of wind came through the back yard..so strong we thought it was about to storm so we hurried inside! It began to rain a little, but only for about 5 minutes or so then the sun came out again. I remember when I was little, my mom used to tell me that when a person passes on, you can rest assure they’re in Heaven if it rains at their funeral. I believe that now. I think that your idea of feeding the birds everyday in rememberence of her is brilliant! She’s still there with you, all around you. I can’t wait for signs from my Big Boy!!
0
emjl81

Registered:
Posts: 80
Reply with quote  #9 
I can't stop crying. Yes it rained all through the 2 day ordeal. Torrential downpours the night we put her down. Rained all day yesterday. I can't leave the house. Its looking like a nice spring day coming today and Kitty was born this time of year and passed this time of year. It rained at my grandmothers wake this past Dec too. 
__________________
Emily 
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by emjl81
I can't stop crying. Yes it rained all through the 2 day ordeal. Torrential downpours the night we put her down. Rained all day yesterday. I can't leave the house. Its looking like a nice spring day coming today and Kitty was born this time of year and passed this time of year. It rained at my grandmothers wake this past Dec too. 

I’m so glad I found this site, I’m crying like a big baby but seeing all these beautiful pictures of all these beautiful angels, and reading all of these stories from all of you kind souls..there’s no doubt in my mind now that my precious, handsome Big Boy is in a better place and surrounded by beautiful furry friends! I hope they’re all exploring together now, being as curious as they want to be, smelling of everything lol! And best of all, no longer in pain. God bless you!
0
emjl81

Registered:
Posts: 80
Reply with quote  #11 
I finally just got up and accomplished a few tasks. One being going in the room she used to occupy. I walked past her spot on the couch and pretended to pet her out of habit. This is so hard. I miss her so much! I hope you are hanging in there.


__________________
Emily 
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #12 
I’ve been trying to do the same today, had to get the house cleaned up and clothes washed up for the week ahead. My 6 year old little girl stayed with my mother for the weekend bc I couldn’t bare to tell her what happened. I’ve got work in the morning, just hope I sleep a little better tonight than last night. You mentioned you walked past where Kitty laid on the couch and pretended to pet her, I’ve done the same all day. I even caught myself calling Big Boy’s name when I called them all inside just now. I’m sad, I’m hurt, I have no more tears, my eyes have literally dried up so much they throb. But I feel like I’m going to make it through this, finally. I lost my Daddy when I was 16 years old and I don’t even remember crying, not that I didn’t love him, I was daddy’s girl! I just never remember breaking down, I guess bc he had been sick and it was expected..I had time for closure. We had time for goodbyes and I love you’s. I didn’t get that with my Big Boy, I think that’s why this is so terribly hard. I’ll be praying for you, I hope with every passing day your heart hurts a little less! Thank you so much for all the support and kind words! You have no idea how much you’ve helped me today! ❤️❤️❤️
0
Jeffrey_In_USA

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 76
Reply with quote  #13 
Very sorry for your loss, Jana. Big Boy is a beautiful cat! Always was, and will always be! And I certainly know how you're feeling, as I am hurting too after losing my sweet, Lady G. It's never easy to lose a loved one, but some do hurt us more than others.

I wish you the very best, and hope you find comfort very soon. You hang in there.


__________________
RIP Lady G. 
2007 - January 14, 2019
I love you, and miss you dearly! I will never forget you, girl!

Her Memorial Thread
https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/in-loving-memory-of-lady-g-10037593
0
JanaJ

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #14 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeffrey_In_USA
Very sorry for your loss, Jana. Big Boy is a beautiful cat! Always was, and will always be! And I certainly know how you're feeling, as I am hurting too after losing my sweet, Lady G. It's never easy to lose a loved one, but some do hurt us more than others.

I wish you the very best, and hope you find comfort very soon. You hang in there.


Thank you so much for your kind words Jeffrey! I hope Big Boy is up there keeping your beautiful Lady G company, hopefully one day we will see them again! 🌈❤️
0
Jeffrey_In_USA

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 76
Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanaJ

Thank you so much for your kind words Jeffrey! I hope Big Boy is up there keeping your beautiful Lady G company, hopefully one day we will see them again! 🌈❤️

I certainly hope so too, Jana. Hopefully they're playing with each other, and we do get to see them again one day. I know when my time comes, I'm gonna need her there to talk to, and continue to tell her how much I love her. 😉

By the way, my only sister's name is Jana. I have rarely seen others with that name. Pretty neat.

Again, wishing you the very best during this difficult time.

__________________
RIP Lady G. 
2007 - January 14, 2019
I love you, and miss you dearly! I will never forget you, girl!

Her Memorial Thread
https://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post/in-loving-memory-of-lady-g-10037593
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.