Gucci
It's so true that there's a special kind of understanding that only people who've experienced similar losses can share, be that human or animal...
I lost my precious 2 year-old Sammi a month ago. He was an outdoor cat, accustomed to his neighbourhood/territory, and he always returned for breakfast and dinner. When he wasn't home for 2 days, I started the process of searching for him.
Several days after I'd put up posters in the neighbourhood and on lost pet internet sites, a woman a block away from the house called to say that she'd found Sammi in her driveway and recognised him from the posters. He'd been struck by a car.
I was in shock, but incredibly grateful that she'd called to let me know. We buried him in the garden where he so loved to be, amidst beautiful shrubs and flowers and tall grasses.
It's so hard to describe the glaring absence of creature with whom you've lived every day, gotten to know, shared rituals and quirks, and grown to love as much as you might love another person. As much as you try, you simply cannot avoid the terrible sadness and grief when you lose an animal companion. That still comes and goes in waves, and it's something that never truly recedes; you simply learn to live with it.
He was such a young cat, but the mark he left is indelible. I've always had cats and loved them all, but Sam was the one who had all of my heart - I will forever miss his independence, his intelligence, his stubborn dedication to sticking to his principles, his love of being groomed and having his ears and neck scratched.
It's such a comfort knowing that everyone on this forum can relate to the arduous adjustment process. Best to everyone as they cope and learn to recover! GC
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Cory
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my Logan exactly one week ago today and I miss him terribly.  Like you I'm new to this forum, and I thank God everyday that I found this site where I can vent and people truly understand and are so sweet.

Please vent away all you want we are here for you in this difficult time.

Cory (Logan's Mom)
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Gucci
Hi Cory - thank you for your support. The early days are just terrible, aren't they? I saw the pictures of your beloved Logan; what a handsome boy! It always gave me so much pleasure to watch Sammi outside, enjoying the sunshine, climbing fences, and exercising all of his senses.

Logan was clearly an incredibly athletic dog, and you can see the energy radiating off of him; how lucky for him he had a mum who wanted the best for him!

Your grieving process is unique to you, and entirely legitimate. It's so wonderful to know we can support one another here. Take care of yourself! GC
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pannklaus
I am very sorry about the sad loss of your special cat Sammi.  You understand the grieving process very well.  Unfortunately, if we love a fur baby there is no way to avoid the painful sadness and waves of grief that occur when he is no longer with us.  I am glad that you have found this group where  there are always people who will understand your pain.  The group is particularly helpful if you encounter people who don't understand and think you should get over it.  As you know we all grieve in our own ways for as long as the process takes.  And there will always be a special spot in your heart for Sammi and all the memories of the time  that you had with him.
Patsy
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Pennienewman
So sorry for the loss of Sammi. I totally agree, only certain people ‘get it’. Surprisingly, it’s not always animal people, sometimes they don’t get it either! Grief can be awful. I am a year down the line after losing my pony and just now beginning to live alongside my grief. I do wish though that people wouldn’t make others feel bad about grieving, it’s very unkind. I’ve found a number of things helpful and have put them on a page which I hope might help others here. Please feel free to look if it helps. Once again, so sorry for the loss of Sammi, it must have also been a terrible shock...

https://beautifulmo.simdif.com/grief-and-my-journey.html

Pennie
Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation
Author Unknown  - adapted from Kahil Gilbran

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Gucci
Patsy and Pennie - many thanks for your thoughtful comments. I'm very lucky that the people in my life understand how dear to me my cats have been and are! Those closest to me who were regulars in Sammi's life were also gutted by his loss, and their love and sympathy were a refuge. They are also people who are very comfortable when I talk about him - we often share memories of him, and we always smile. Pennie, your tribute to Mo, which also demonstrates the profound depth of the bond you shared, is absolutely wonderful. We know the bittersweet bargain that's made when we have such beautiful creatures in our lives: for all the joy and love they bring, we may very well lose them in unpredictable ways, and we never know how much time we will have with them. 
I related so much to your comments about the overwhelming changes in routine - no more feeding, no more cleaning, no more tending to their care. For someone like me, who's always been very tactile, that difference is acutely painful at times. 
I know that you can only adapt, at your own pace, and in your own way, to a very novel context. Having support and a place to talk about that process are crucial! 
GC
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Gingers_Mommy
@ Gucci, I'm so sorry for the loss of Sammi. This is exactly how I lost my cat Ginger on 9/29/19. She loved being outside but would always come back when I called her in. Car struck too. Neighbor told me too. I def feel for you. That shock. That denial and disbelief. And then the acceptance and pain. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time. This site has been an incredible tool in helping me heal. I believe it will do the same for you. Sending warm hugs your way.
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Gucci
Gingers_Mommy - wow, that was only about a week earlier than Sammi's accident, and in the same way! Part of the shock is its unexpectedness, and how your world changes in an instant when you get the news (if you do at all). I was so grateful to the woman who called - I didn't know her - and that I was able to say goodbye to Sammi properly.
There's a beautiful mum plant set on the spot where he's buried, and I can see it from my living room window. It's a comfort of sorts knowing he's so close by, but you can't evade the concrete changes and sadness that make up the new everyday routine.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely Ginger. Your kindness, and the understanding of these forum members does help get through what can seem like an interminable phase of heartache. Hugs back...
 
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Mistysmama
Dear Gucci,
Blessings to Sammi. There is an awful sense of shock when they pass so quickly and without warning. It seems surreal. That happened with a dear cat of mine many many years ago. His name was Dushka, which means "little spirit" (or similar)

With Misty, my dog, we both of us had some time to prepare. Not long....we got six days. I don't think either of us were really ready but those six days helped lessen the acute shock.

It's lovely that you have that mum plant on Sammi's grave, and that you can look out and see it, and send out your love to him.


The disappearance of routines....you know -I still feel the loss of those things. Even 7 &1/2 years later!
Every morning I go out in the garden to drink my coffee, and look over to the orchard and the fields beyond our garden, and remember the daily routines we would have done (the usual morning walks in those places, then back for a second coffee.) I really miss those things -even now!

Kind thoughts sent your way.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Gucci
Mistysmama - Yes, the absence of the routine is felt so keenly, isn't it?

You and Misty were outside so much, communing perfectly together in nature; that's the sort of thing that gets impressed on a soul level, and it's not something you ever forget.

Sammi adored being outside, and while I wasn't able to follow him around his territory, he had a routine in multiple yards that gave me a good sense of his preferences. One provided excellent ground cover so he could observe the squirrels; another gave him access to a shed roof where he could survey the territory from on high; one had a thick bush that he slept behind when it was very hot; and our front garden had a cedar shrub that he could lie beneath, very concealed, yet watch everyone who passed by on foot. 

I'm very grateful that I was able to bury him in the that same front garden, where I can talk to him whenever I need to...

Warm regards.
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