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NemoPunkinbutter
Hi Jonancy.  Thank you.  That was the name he had when I got him from a shelter.  Awww, I'm glad the letter helped you but sorry it made you cry more.  I think I saw the idea when I was preparing for Nemo's loss and was reading articles about pet loss grief.  A man did this for his wife. 

I'm sorry for your loss of Scooter (that was one of my nicknames for Nemo).  It's been over a week and I'm still in a daze.  Thank you for taking the time to tell me how the letter affected you.  I think you'll find a lot of solace here.  I've not responded yet to a lot of threads but have just been reading them, a little overwhelmed by the volume but also finding a LOT of comfort because each and every person has said something I could relate to. 

In memory of our beloved Nemo and Scooter.

Cindy
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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NemoPunkinbutter
Nemo, I miss you so, so much.  It's not right that you're gone.  You should be here, by my side.  I'm still in shock even though I knew the heart failure would eventually take you away from me.  It's so empty and lonely here.  I've been sleeping all night in the chair, something I could never do when you were still here.  I don't know why I can now. 

I had a LOT of emotions today and they were not all good.  You know how much Charlene loves us and knows how much we mean to each other.  Well, Mommy got really upset with her today and said some not-so-nice things to her because of it.  I was already hurting because, like I told her, I was still struggling with how the vet made you die.  She basically told me to stop going over and over it and dwelling on it and that losing you was not like losing a child.  Then she told me maybe I need to "buck up."  I know she was uncomfortable with seeing her friend grieve and wanted to take away my hurt, but that just made me hurt more.  I thought she of all people understood that this is a HUGE loss to me, that you were my world.  She even told me I sounded crazy when I said I was NOT going to "buck up" because someone thought I was talking or thinking too much about this but would grieve on MY timetable. IT'S BEEN ONLY A WEEK.  I am NOT going to get over you in a week!!! Or ever.  I want to fully grieve for you and not make the mistakes I've made in the past of hiding and pushing down my feelings and not dealing with them.  I went to see some doggies and kitties today, but I did not adopt any.  It is too soon and would be a mistake to bring a new furbaby into my life.  So I will grieve you AS LONG AS IT TAKES, even if it's just here and in my journal, baby.  No one understands except the very nice people here.  You might have run into some of their furbabies where you are and may even be best buds with some of them.  I love that, because you did not have many friends here except for Ginger, Chloe, and (sorta) Patches.

Oh. I got the sweetest card from Aunt T.  I didn't even know card companies made cards for pet loss sympathy.  It says "Dogs just know when they are loved...even at the end, when their pain becomes too much to bear and we help them to find rest. No pet could have had a more loving home than the one you gave yours.  I'm so sorry for your loss."  How true! How perfect a card.

Don't worry for me, baby.  I will eventually be all right.  I will not mourn forever, but I will never, ever forget you or stop loving you.

Mama
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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judylinn
Everyone has to grieve in their own way. It's taken me quite a few years to get to the place where I am now. When my Maddie had to go, it was like losing a part of me. there are lots of people who have animals and don't connect with them on a soul level.  those are the people that just don't get it...because they have never experienced the connection and the depth of the love.....usually, people who say get over it ...etc....etc...are the people who haven't been able to fully let an animal into their heart....they sound mean and judgemental...but really ...they just don't know.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious Nemo....he is as close to you as your heart, and will never leave there. Blessings to you...just let yourself grieve and feel what you need to...it's okay...Judylinn
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NemoPunkinbutter
Thank you for your kind words, advice, and encouragement, Judylinn.  They are helping me.  It's like the picture I recently saw here on the forum says:  someone who thinks there is a time limit for your grief has never lost a piece of their heart.  I would add that saying to someone who says it was just a dog, as if the loss isn't as great. Soul connection . . . I like that, and it fits.  He had my heart and it broke when he left, but like you said, he's still in my heart, and he wants it to be healed. 

Thank you for understanding!

Cindy
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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judylinn
I feel that the greater the love we feel for our little ones, the deeper the pain when they leave. I totally believe that we will see them again one day. My heart broke when Maddie left...she was my only family I had....but after these 4 years, she is as strong in my heart as ever. when you make a soul connection....that connection is always there. I use that love that Maddie gave me, to try and be a better and kinder person, so that I can honor all that love she shared with me.
Have you done anything in memory of your little Nemo. I did a lot of things that helped...the candlelight ceremony on this site, I also wrote in a jouranl a little letter to Maddie everynight. plus I had her picture and flowers by it....find something that is special to you and Nemo as a way of honoring him...it really does help...Love and blessings...Judylinn
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NemoPunkinbutter
I agree with that:  the harder we loved, the harder we grieve.  I believe we'll see them again too, and I can't wait.  Soul connection.  YES! When I look back at some of the first pictures I took of him, particularly ones of him lying asleep in my lap, I see we had that connection from the beginning and he trusted and loved me from the start. 

I did go to last week's candlelight ceremony, which was beautiful.  I also journal and sometimes write a letter to Nemo as part of it.  I'm going to create an area of my apartment as a little memorial with his crate, bed, bedding, collar & leash, favorite toy, paw print, and pictures.  I'm not sure how or when, but I will also go to the park where his ashes were scattered (a beautiful place in Ossian, Indiana created by Pet Rest). 

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions, Judylinn.

Cindy
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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Pickles
NemoPunkinButter, do not blame yourself!! That vets office is to blame. You brought your beautiful baby in with hopes you could trust a medical professional. Unfortunately that happens all too often. It is not your fault. Your baby knows it was not your fault and is looking down you on right now from doggy heaven wishing you would stop blaming yourself. He is free and happy from the pain. You helped me through my loss, so please message me if you need it!
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NemoPunkinbutter
Thank you, Pickles.  Your words do help.  I just have to remember that image that came to my mind of Nemo putting his paw on me as if to say, "Mama, it's okay."  I wish he hadn't had to have gone through that, but he IS free of pain and suffering now.  My sweet baby was so brave.  Now I will be brave for him and move past this. 

I love you, Nemo.  You were the smartest, sweetest, bravest pup I knew.  I'm so thankful God loaned you to me, even if for only 5 short years.  Be a good boy.  I'll be back in a little bit.
Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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NemoPunkinbutter

Puppy, I thought I was doing better, but then I think of you out of habit and the tears start all over again.  Are you really gone?!  You were my constant, here every morning when I got up and every night when I went to bed.  But now you’re not here.  You should be!  You’re supposed to be here.  I had only 5 years with you, and the last year of that you were sick.  It’s not fair.  I hardly had time to enjoy you.  Now you’re gone.  I wish I could see you just one more time.  I try to remember you when you were healthy and in that final picture I took of you, but it’s hard to forget your final moments.  My friend Sharon told me of how she saw an angel one night, who let her see her cat one more time.  I’ve asked God if He’d allow that for us.  I leave it up to Him.

I will say He has a great sense of humor.  A little bit ago I went into the bedroom and was overwhelmed with the smell of your poop!!! I even looked around my room because the smell was so strong despite me being very congested (can’t smell much even when I’m not clogged up).  I hope you haven’t left me a little present somewhere that I’ve yet to find! Just because I called you a little stinker doesn’t mean you have to take it literally!

I miss you so much, baby.  Mama loves you so much.  I’ll try to be less sad when I think of you, because I am happy that you’re healthy now, no coughing, no swelling or excess weight! You were always such a handsome boy; I bet you’re even more so now. 

Love you, puppy.

Remembering Nemo, ?2004 to 2015, my male Chihuahua mix, my punkinbutter, gone to Rainbow Bridge 01/30/2015 after a year-long bout with heart failure.  Mama misses you, baby.
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