jdavis515
October 28th will mark 3 months since My Hailey left me. I thought I was doing ok (just ok- not great). But the last 2 days it has felt so fresh. Like it was a few days ago. There are moments I can't breathe again, the though that she is NEVER coming back is paralyzing. Subconsciously I have been operating under the assumption that she will back- silly I know.

Our other old dog- a 13 1/2 year german wirehaired pointer, Zeus, has cancer. We took him in for sneezing fits and discovered he probably has nose cancer and he has a melon size tumor in his abdomen (most likely hemongiosarcoma). We have chosen not to pursue any treatment other than comfort measures for him. Our vet was sure he would be gone within a month's time, but here we are 3 weeks later and that old dog is still going strong! He runs, eats and sleeps just like before.

Hailey was my dog before I was married and Zeus was my husband's. Hailey was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and despite my efforts was gone in 3 weeks. Zeus shows no signs of illness after 3 weeks of his diagnosis. A part of me is angry that my husband gets to keep his dog longer- he has never lost anyone close to him. I lost mt best girl so quickly and have suffered many shattering losses starting at age 9 (dad, brother,mom, best friend). It sounds so petty when I see it on screen but I know it is the truth. Has anyone else experienced something comparable?
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Gertie
jdavis515 wrote:
October 28th will mark 3 months since My Hailey left me. I thought I was doing ok (just ok- not great). But the last 2 days it has felt so fresh. Like it was a few days ago. There are moments I can't breathe again, the though that she is NEVER coming back is paralyzing. Subconsciously I have been operating under the assumption that she will back- silly I know.

Our other old dog- a 13 1/2 year german wirehaired pointer, Zeus, has cancer. We took him in for sneezing fits and discovered he probably has nose cancer and he has a melon size tumor in his abdomen (most likely hemongiosarcoma). We have chosen not to pursue any treatment other than comfort measures for him. Our vet was sure he would be gone within a month's time, but here we are 3 weeks later and that old dog is still going strong! He runs, eats and sleeps just like before.

Hailey was my dog before I was married and Zeus was my husband's. Hailey was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and despite my efforts was gone in 3 weeks. Zeus shows no signs of illness after 3 weeks of his diagnosis. A part of me is angry that my husband gets to keep his dog longer- he has never lost anyone close to him. I lost mt best girl so quickly and have suffered many shattering losses starting at age 9 (dad, brother,mom, best friend). It sounds so petty when I see it on screen but I know it is the truth. Has anyone else experienced something comparable?
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Gertie
I am sorry you are in such pain. Reading your story it seems you are angry maybe for other reasons. Yes, at 3 months it is very fresh. But maybe for you talking to someone a counselor might help. I feel you have a lot of left over pain from your past. Just a thought.

You ask if anyone has experienced such an experience as you. I would say yes. For me my husband left me after 24 years.3 months later my kitty Myles at 11 years old had to be put to sleep. Then 6 months later my beautiful 9 year old Lhasa Duncan was also put to sleep. I have very serious health issues. Many people are in pain. What we choose to do with it is what is important.

You have a little dog Zeus who is dying, not your dog. But he needs your love and attention. Reaching out to him and loving him will help you through your grief. I think this will help you and in the end you will feel peace.

I hope in time you will find your way through your grief. The pain does not go away but it is lighter when we help others.
Take care, Duncan & Myles Mom.
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missing_grr
I lost my dog a little over two months ago and also thought that I was starting to cope only to have the last two days become another uncontrollable crying fest. I know what you mean about jealousy. I see people with their dogs on the street and feel very bitter even though I am appalled by those feelings. Joining a pet loss group in my area is helping, but I wish the meetings were more frequent. I feel like I can understand a little of what you are going through. I had a very difficult life up until the point I adopted my dog. Partly because of him, and because of many other reasons, my life has gotten exponentially better every year since having my dog, until two months ago that is. I have recently realized that losing Grr has made me have an irrational fear that my life will become bad again. I have been reliving old hurts, just as your loss is making you relive the other major losses in your life. I think I would benefit from some one on one counseling, and it sounds like you could too. I know in time things are going to become easier-- we just have to wait which is terribly hard. But you are on the right track voicing these feelings on this forum. Good luck and I am very sorry for your loss.
Rebecca
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Vivian_M1
I am right there with you all on this post.  It has been a little over 2 months since we lost Stella and this week has been really hard for me.  I have been crying a lot more. I also went to a pet loss group 2x early on but she hasn't scheduled one since. I really wanted to go again having passed the 2 month mark but I guess there isn't enough interest.  This forum helps.  I have found that none of my friends ask me anymore how I am doing and others are asking me if I am getting another dog. I had one friend ask me if I was still sad. Of course I am that is not something you get over in a month or two.  I too have those ridiculous jealous feelings of others whose dogs are still alive and healthy.  And anger at the fact that we have now lost 2 dogs to cancer in the last 5 years. I think that is normal.  We lost our first dog to Hemangio as well and we had him for 6 weeks after diagnosis.  Our most recent dog we had only 1 week after diagnosis and surgery and I was so sad that we didn't have enough time to say goodbye.  She was also a lot younger than our first dog and for that I am angry as well. 
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings.  I am nowhere near ready to get another dog but when I do I know they won't replace my previous babies but will be different in their own personalities and my love will never fade for the lost babies either.  Hugs to you all!
Vivian M.
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Mistysmama
I lost my girl Misty from Hemangiosarcoma too. We got 4-5 days from her definite diagnosis, and about 2 weeks from the vet's suspicions that's what it was. So I didn't have long to get my head round it.
I admit to feeling twinges -not of jealousy, but of wondering if I could have done better for her -after reading online about other peoples' dogs who got many weeks or months of decent life after their diagnosis. ....And reading about someone who did a natural healing protocol, and their dog lived almost 1 year after diagnosis.
But I know although my girl went quickly after we knew what was wrong, she didn't linger, unwell for very long, and she didn't have such a bad time towards the end, so I guess we were lucky too.

Then I also feel sorry because there are many people whose beloved dogs and cats passed at a young age, and at least my girl lived to nearly 15. I sometimes feel almost sorry to mention that for the sake of those who are suffering the loss of a very young dog or cat.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Catladykaren
Anger, guilt, sadness, among other feelings are all part of the grieving process. I'm angry that the people around me don't understand. That they think she is "just a cat". I'm angry that I've only had 3 years with Leeloo and life isn't fair. But most of all I am so sad and heartbroken and just trying to find a way to cope. We grieve because we love. And it is that love that will endure.
Love is eternal....
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