Hope everyone is ok.
I just wanted to come on here to write down some of the feeling's I've had/got since my pet cat passed away about 5-6 weeks ago now. I'm still devastated :(
My cat was called Smudge, 12 years old and just an amazing cat. I can't get over not being able to see him again and feel guilty for not noticing signs he was ill more quickly. I really hope he wasn't in pain for too long.
A brief background - I didn't live with Smudge as I got him and his brother (who passed away 2 years earlier) when I still lived at home with my Mum. When I got a place of my own it didn't seem right to uproot him as he loved the woods and secluded nature of my mums house. I would obviously visit often and he very much knew he was mine as our bond was always the closest and would look to make a fuss of me just as much as I would of him whenever I called.
So, over the course of a around 2-3 months, when I went round I noticed he was losing a bit of weight and didn't seem to be eating as much as normal. My mum, who saw him everyday would say he had eaten a lot the day before etc and maybe it was his age. After a while I decided it wasn't quite right so we took him to the vets who gave him a check up and said he was good for his age. I was concerned there was something wrong with his teeth as he was drooling quite a bit but the vets said his teeth were fine. Our normal flea treatment at the time didn't seem to be working so we went about that too so we could get a different course of treatment. We explained that he was sitting in an 'awkward' position with his head down as if he couldn't get comfy but we/the vets put it down to being fed up of having fleas which it seemed he had.
If you are still reading this by now. Thank you :)
Early September - I went on holiday. When I came back and went round to my mums I immediately noticed he had lost more weight and again, hadn't eaten so I said I was going to take him to the vets at the weekend. So, as we were showing my mum a few holiday pics, I noticed Smudge didn't look right. I lay with him on the floor when he suddenly started meowing (a crying sort of meow) and looked in discomfort. He was wondering up and down doing this and tbh we all thought he was going to die there and then. We didn't rush him to the emergency vet as we had a bad experience with his brother. After a while he calmed down, ate well and I stayed with him all through the night while he seemed quite relaxed.
Took him to the vets in the morning, was diagnosed with diabetes but they wanted to keep him in. The next day he suddenly had some kind of seizure so the vet called me - worst call I've ever had!! I rushed to see him where he wasn't in a good way. The call was made that the best thing to do was let him go. Absolutely heart-breaking that I couldn't help him and that I won't see him again plus lots of guilt!!
Thanks for listening