PuppyLove2
I just need to tell my story.  I believe it will make me feel better. . . .

I live in MN and earlier this week, I was in Dallas for a teacher convention.  My wife called me on Tuesday night concerned about our golden retriever Mabel who would have been 11 in September.  She said she was acting funny.  She was very lethargic and didn't want to get off the floor.  I had my wife connect with me via FaceTime.  I took one look at her face and knew she needed to be taken into the emergency vet.  When she arrived and was seen by the doc, (while I was listening in) she immediately stated that she was in serious condition and needed to be treated right away.  They took her from my wife and hooked her up to an iv and took xrays.  I immediately left the hotel headed for the airport to catch as early a flight as possible.  Looking back, hearing the tone in the doc's voice, I knew what the outcome was going to be.  Within a short time, it was determined that Mabel's sac around her heart was filled with fluid and this was preventing her heart to beat efficiently.  They identified a tumor by her heart that was most likely causing this.  She also was experiencing severe fluid build up in her stomach.  Her blood pressure was very low.  They were able to stabilize her and make her comfortable.  The plan was for me to make it home in time be with her when she needed me most.  

I was not able to find a flight until 6:40 am and it was currently 1:00 am.  She was beginning to fade and we made the decision not to make her hold on until I could make it home which would have been not until almost 10:00 am.  

So in an unfamiliar location, I found the most isolated corner of the airport I could find, sat down and connected via facetime in order to release my best friend to where I know she is at peace for eternity.  I KNOW we made the right decision, but I am struggling so much with the fact that I was not there.  I am so grateful my wife was there and able to comfort her and provide assurance that everything was alright.  I am so proud of her.  She was so strong for our baby girl.  I was talking through the phone so I like to think she at least heard my voice.  

It has only been a little over 24 hours since she passed.  I find myself going in and out of bouts of sobbing.  I wanted so bad to be able to hold her face into mine and caress her ears and her little baby paws while she made her transition.  My biggest fear is that as she was lying there she was wondering why Daddy wasn't there with her.  It just kills me thinking about it.  



Kevin and Koreen
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MonkeysMama
Kevin,

Reading your post brought me to tears and an ache in my stomach and heart for you. I can't believe that's how it all went. I am so, so sorry. I cannot imagine what that was like trying desperately to get home and only being able to be in an airport as your baby slipped away. I am so sorry.

Just a couple of weeks ago, the first day I was on vacation, my sweet baby boy chihuahua Monkey got out of my mom's yard and somehow found his way onto the freeway. Since internet connection isn't very good in Nicaragua, I wasn't able to find out from my mom that I had lost the love of my life until 4 days later.

Being 5 months pregnant, I looked forward to the next 15 years being filled with pictures of my unborn baby napping and swirled together with my lil Monkeyman. I pictured all of the things they'd do together. I pictured the beautiful childhood Monkey would help provide for my child. The devastation is still surreal.

The pain I have in my heart and the loss I feel in my soul are mind blowing. I am sure you know the pain and loss. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry. And that you're not alone in your grief right now. I feel like every day has gotten harder but I know one day, as many have said, the pain will dull.

What a wonderful and strong wife you have. I am sending all of my love to both you.

I truly wish you the easiest and best recovery. I can tell your sweet baby was lucky to have the 2 of you. And let that be peace in our hearts, that we know we did the absolute best for our babies and loved them as much as we could while they were here. That's all we can do or could've done.

Take care.

Sincerely,
Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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mybeloved1
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and wish you and your wife peace as you deal with the grief we all understand so well. As someone who often talked to my dog via phone if i was away, or let him talk to other special people he knew - I can 100% tell you your Mabel did hear your voice and knew you were with her. Whenever my Jack heard a special voice on speaker that he knew, he would listen and give the phone a lick. The device meant nothing to him except when a familiar voice was coming through, and then he was always so excited. So be at peace knowing that your baby girl knew her daddy was with her.
((hugs))
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MonkeysMama
Kevin,

I've been thinking of you and your wife. I hope you're OK.

Sending my love,
Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MurphysMom_0831

Kevin and Koreen,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Golden, Mabel. I'm sorry you weren't able to be there, and that you are so wracked with grief. I understand as I lost my Golden, Murphy, 13 days ago after 13 days in a hospital. I find it somewhat cathartic to write him a letter every night. Goldens are such incredible dogs, and they bring a happiness and joy into our lives like no other. I'm still sobbing as are so many of the other moms and dads who post here, so know you are in good company with people who understand what you are going through. The Monday Night Candle Lighting ceremony is precious, and you can add Mabel to the list of our babies gone to the Rainbow Bridge. They are all happy there, healthy and playing with each other, just waiting for the day we join them. Until then, all we can do is take it one day at a time.

Wishing you peace and loving memories of your beautiful girl,

Murphy's Mom (Kathryn)

 

"Sometimes there is a dog who is so special, he is able to wrap himself so completely around your heart it is impossible to tell where you begin and he ends."  For My Beloved Murphy, 08/31/2004 - 06/18/2014


http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MURPH121/Resident.htm


http://s327.photobucket.com/user/kathrynbrown1626/library/?sort=6&page=1
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MonkeysMama
Kevin,

You cross my mind a lot. I hope you can feel my love being sent your way those days.

Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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