CoopersMommy
I haven't posted here for a while, though I do read the posts of others. I'm coming up on 8 months without my boy. Most days, I feel ok, but I don't talk about it. My husband will bring up a story about Cooper or a picture, and I just brush it aside. My sister in law made a tote with our dogs, Rudy and Dori, on it. I had to hold back tears because Cooper wasn't on there. It's supposed to be him on there.  I'm so tired of being sad. Some days I look at our new furbaby, Dori, and think 'she belongs here with us' but I know that means Cooper had to go. I tell myself there's a reason it turned out the way it did. We were supposed to have her for a reason. But that's not helping much tonight. I can no longer see him playing in my mind or hear his little bark. I have videos of him but it makes me too sad to watch. I'm forgetting him. I'm forgetting someone who consumed my heart for five and a half years. It just feels so devastating right now. I'm starting to feel lost again. 
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tikibarb
I am so sorry that you are feeling so down.  I understand the feeling that you are describing and have felt it myself.  Ted will be gone 6 months on Friday and I am good most days as well but there is that little nag in the back of my mind that he isn't here and I hate that.  I think we are all tired from the holidays and that takes a toll on our emotional health.  Your mentioning that you brush stories and memories of Cooper aside tells me that you still have some work to do to come to terms with your loss.  8 months is not a long time after 5 and a half years of blissful companionship.  Give yourself some room to grieve some more.  I am betting that you can still see him playing in your mind...you just have to give yourself permission to look.  I hope you feel better tomorrow.  
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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erica212
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I know exactly how you feel even if it is only going on almost 3 months for me. We love them so deeply when they are with us, and hurt so much when they are gone. I some times feel like the pain will never end but I know in my own time that it will subside. Take as long as you need to take. There is no time limit on what you are feeling. I am sure you have probably heard this about a million times before.
We are here and care. Just so you know.
Erica
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CoopersMommy
Thanks everyone. I know I still have work to do. It's weird though. I feel better and feel like I'm accepting it but deep down, I know I'm just pushing it back, not completely dealing. And now, at this point, I don't know how to get back to working through it. A couple weeks ago, my sister-in-law lost her baby. She was full term and the baby passed away. At first, it made me think, 'wow, my loss is nothing compared to losing a child'. And I would've been embarrassed to compare my grief to hers as it's not the same. But as a little time went on, my loss was still there. It still feels just as big. He was my special little guy and I miss him so much.
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