CatLady72
Hi All,
I'm glad to have stumbled on this group. Last night, I had to put down my cat Ben. Even writing his name here makes me burst into tears. I don't know how to cope with this. He hasn't been well for a few weeks and it was extremely stressful and I thought I would actually feel better once he was gone so that I wouldn't have to worry so much anymore. But today I am feeling completely hopeless and lost. I can't stop crying. Sleep is my only relief, but I fear waking up because the pain comes back. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious. Everything I look at reminds me of Ben and I see him in my mind when he was a happy cat in all the different parts of my house, with all of his antics. 

I have two other cats who I love dearly, and to be honest, Ben was more "my husband's cat" (Ben definitely liked him better than me!), whereas I am very close to the other two. I am now terrified about the future. When I look at my other two, all I can think of now is that I will have to go through this again two more times with them.

Everyone tells me to remember all the happy memories but that just tears my heart up right now. 

Help.


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ForMitookie_03
Hi CatLady72,

I am very sorry for your loss.  I'm sorry that it is so fresh.  The beginning of the grief cycle is the worst.  Replaying the last days, wondering if there something else you could have done, thinking you are hearing them, or accidently calling out their name.  I was so sick with grief, like you I just wanted to sleep, but you have to wake up and face the reality of it all over again.  You have come to the right place.  The people here are wonderful and everyone understands exactly what you are feeling and going through.  No one will think you are grieving too hard or too long, no one will judge you.  You just keep coming back and writing as much as you need to and some semblance of peace will eventually show up.  It doesn't go away, but it does get bearable.  I lost my kitty of 15 years in January.  Time has flown by, but I like to come back often and check in.  I've made some great friends and a great support system.  Feel free to tell us about how special Ben was and if you can, share a photo.  It took me forever before I was able to post a photo of my Mitookie.  I hope that you find some peace and comfort soon.

Kind Regards,

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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CatLady72
Thank you so much, Marina. It is sad to think so many of us go through this, but it is also comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm not ready to share a photo or stories about Ben, but maybe one day I will be. I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Mitookie.
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CK1991
Hi CatLady, I want you to know that whenever you're ready to share more about your cat, Ben, I'd be happy to hear about him. I know the fear of worrying about your other cats is hard but try to relax and enjoy them. I had 2 little Shihtzus and when I had to let the first one go I worried constantly but it didn't do me any good in the end. Life is short even for us humans so do mourn your precious boy, Ben but enjoy your other cats.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you!
CK
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CatLady72
Thank you for this, CK1991. A week has passed and my other two cats have made it clear that they will be demanding maximum attention and affection ;) I am able to enjoy them to a point, but it is bittersweet and still tainted with worry. I appreciate you sharing your experience and wisdom. I know you’re right, but it’s still a work in progress for me. Thank you so much for your message. It is very much appreciated. ❤️
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MAlcindor
CatLady, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Ben. Please enjoy your other two cats to the maximum, they deserve your love and attention. When I lost my Max on June 13 I thought I would never be able to get over his loss and I did not find much joy or enjoyment in caring for his brother Bailey or sister Luna. A week after losing Max I decided that Bailey and Luna deserved better from me, the pain of losing Max of course was still present but I made a conscious effort to enjoy Bailey and Luna more. On July 12 my precious Bailey was attacked by another dog and he died on July 13. Looking back now I regret the week after Max passed and think how stupid I was not to appreciate every single day we have with our babies. I wasted a week and now I cannot get it back. Please enjoy every single day you have with your precious babies. Of course we still grieve the ones we have lost and worry so much for the ones we have, but every single day is a gift.
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CatLady72
MAlcindor- I am so, so sorry to read this post. I can’t imagine what you have endured over the past month few weeks. I truly appreciate your comments and will take your advice to heart. I am thinking of you and sending you my best healing vibes. ❤️ Thank you.

MAlcindor wrote:
CatLady, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Ben. Please enjoy your other two cats to the maximum, they deserve your love and attention. When I lost my Max on June 13 I thought I would never be able to get over his loss and I did not find much joy or enjoyment in caring for his brother Bailey or sister Luna. A week after losing Max I decided that Bailey and Luna deserved better from me, the pain of losing Max of course was still present but I made a conscious effort to enjoy Bailey and Luna more. On July 12 my precious Bailey was attacked by another dog and he died on July 13. Looking back now I regret the week after Max passed and think how stupid I was not to appreciate every single day we have with our babies. I wasted a week and now I cannot get it back. Please enjoy every single day you have with your precious babies. Of course we still grieve the ones we have lost and worry so much for the ones we have, but every single day is a gift.
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catiebee
CatLady, the first few weeks of grief are rugged, rugged, rugged. I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the worry it has generated about your other furbabies. Take extra good care of you, while your grief is so raw. Hugs!
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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